Bucket List Item: Garth Brooks

Since I was a child I have loved country music. Among the many artists that I grew up loving, a special entertainer burst onto the scene in 1989 that impacted my life. His name is Garth Brooks, and since he hit the status of super star I have wanted to attend one of his live concerts. Well, as of Saturday, September 2, 2017, that item on my bucket list has been checked off.

Along with some good friends, Heather was online as soon as ticket sales for his announced September concerts went on sale earlier this summer. We bought the tickets that could be considered the worst tickets in the arena. They were behind the stage and up. To be honest, I was a little disappointed that we didn't have anything better, but I was going to go and enjoy myself no matter where I was sitting. I had gone almost three decades wanting to see him live, and I felt that it would be worth it.

The six of us arrived at 7 pm (the show started at 7:30), but the throng of fans waiting to go see him was so large it wasn't until almost 8 that we found our seats. There was a delightful lady named Karyn Rochelle who was singing a beautiful acoustic set while we were climbing the stairs to our seats. It turned out that we were in one of the highest rows in the Saddledome. The stage was an oval and for us sitting behind the stage we had a large screen that showed us everything that was happening up front. I noticed how high up we were and my acrophobia started kicking in. As I did my best to enjoy the opening act, I couldn't help but feel my irrational fear of heights gnawing at my insides. I was figuring that it was going to be a long evening.

The opening act finished, and people were heading to the bathrooms and concession stands, as nobody wanted to miss a minute of the big show. When the countdown timer hit on the big screen and we saw the band members in the shadows take their places as the lights went down. The first chord was struck and the crowd went crazy. Then, on cue, the man himself appeared, and we all lost it. He started with one of his most recent hits, "Lay Down and Dance", and then it was hit after hit. The screens around the stage were raised so we could see everything. The floor of the stage itself became a screen, so those of us in the nose bleed seats could experience our own show. I learned that at a Garth Brooks show, every seat is the best seat in the house.

As we danced and sang along with "Two of a Kind", "Two Pina Colodas", and "Rodeo" (which in Calgary is as big as anything), Garth engaged with the audience as only he can. A couple on the floor became engaged, and Garth stopped the show for a moment so he could congratulate them. He then serenaded them with "To Make You Feel My Love". The show continued and it soon became apparent that the crowd knew all the words to each of his songs. The entire stadium transformed into the greatest karaoke party of all time. When Garth began the first lines of "In Another's Eyes" is started searching the stage for where Trisha Yearwood would make her appearance. As far as country music goes, I loved the 80s and 90s era the most, and of all the artists that I have wanted to see perform, Garth was #1, and Trisha Yearwood lands in the Top 5 easily. Her voice is as sweet and melodious as it has ever been, and the lady still has it. While she only sang five songs, it felt as if a lifetime of musical bliss was passing by. Ending with "She's in Love with the Boy", she showed us all that Trisha is still one of the finest voices in music.

Garth took over again and it was apparent that we wouldn't be "Going Down Till the Sun Came Up". "The Thunder Rolls" was as Magical as I had imagined it would be, and the when he started to strum the opening chord to "Friends in Low Places", I was finally able to participate in the best bar song of all time. As he sang "The Dance", I couldn't help but cry for the only person I knew who was a bigger Garth Brooks fan, and that was my brother TJ. I was sure he was watching from even higher above us, and enjoying every minute of it. When Garth came back for the house cleaning segment, he started playing the songs that fans had wanted that were not on the main show, and did some amazing cover songs. I got chills when he was singing "Amarillo by Morning" and his fiddle player came on to accompany him. We all sang with "The Piano Man" and "He Stopped Loving Her Today". When the show ended, we proceeded to exit the Saddledome. I can't think of how anyone would have been upset with the show, except, perhaps, that it was over.

What makes the Garth Brooks live show such an event is the artist himself. I have seen several big names perform, and have usually enjoyed every show. Garth adds something extra special to it, however, and it truly is an experience to behold. He makes sure that every seat gets something special. He recently announced that he wanted even the upper most seats made available, setting the price at a reasonable $30 each. Some would argue that he is just trying to milk us out of even more money to line his pockets, but then he said all of those sales would go to the Calgary Flames charity. He wouldn't take a dime from opening those extra seats. All he wants to do is sing with his fans. He is an artist who knows that he is where he is because of his fans. He soaks up the cheers and the love and gives it right back. He is all about the music and the fans. He wants to make sure that everyone enjoys themselves. He also has an infectious energy that lasts the whole night long. I felt tired just watching him, and at the end of it all he did look exhausted yet rejuvenated.

His concert is more than a show, more than a party, more than an event. It is a true legend that must be experienced. I don't know how ling he will keep this up, but go see him if you get the chance.

Oh, and my acrophobia? It was gone by the end of his second song.

Even if it ate at me the whole show, Garth is worth it.

My Thoughts and Prayers...

So there is something that has been bothering me a while, and I think now is as good of time as any to address it. There has been a few postings on social media of a variation of a meme. It involves the tendency of a person who, when they hear of something bad that has happened, will respond with the phrase "my thoughts and prayers are with you/them...". The meme is usually of the vein that suggests that such a posting is pointless, worthless, and void of any intent to do good. They suggest that because those who post that only post that and go on with their lives, doing nothing else to improve the situation. They mock those of us who pray for others as fools who want to pay lip service when others suffering while bringing attention to how thoughtful we are in our social media postings.

Well, those memes have been bothering me for a while now. Thankfully, these only seem to appear in postings from public groups and not from a lot of people that I know, but they do bother me. For a while, I was having trouble figuring out why they bothered me so. Earlier this week, I figured it out.

They bother me because they are right...

...and they are wrong. 

Let me address the first claim. Yes, too often those of us who say this are guilty of only doing only the token show of concern by expressing that we will think about and pray for those who are suffering, and then go on with our lives. One of the messages that I agree with in these memes is that if we have the capability of doing more than just simply wishing them well, then we should be doing more. If you were hungry, I could say that I will pray that you have enough to eat. Better would be to give you some food so that you are not hungry anymore. If you were on fire and I had a hose, I think you would rather that I use that hose to put out the fire that is currently scorching your skin before I start saying a prayer for you. When there is action that one can provide and we instead just offer our "thoughts and prayers", then we are missing the point of prayers. I do believe in God, and I believe that He will often answer our prayers by enlisting others to help out. 

Here is where I think these guys are wrong. I feel they falsely assume some key things whenever someone posts that. First, they assume that the person is only posting it and doing nothing else. Sorry, but in a world where we are constantly yelling at each other that we shouldn't wrongly judge each other, they have just wrongly judged some of us. Last year during the wildfires that destroyed a significant portion of Fort McMurray, I saw many people say that they were praying for the people who had fled their homes and businesses. I then saw, over the next several weeks, those same people talk about how they donated blood, belongings, or money. Some opened their homes to family and friends who were displaced. Others went and volunteered at fund raisers to help out those who were less fortunate. They did post about "thoughts and prayers", but followed up with actions that helped ease the situation of those they were thinking and praying about. They talked the talk, and then walked the walk.

So why do they post about it on social media? Isn't that drawing attention to themselves?


That is yet another faulty assumption. There are many reasons why people post the things that they are doing on Facebook and tweet about it later. Yes, some of us do it to draw attention to ourselves, but more often than not the goal is far greater. They want to draw attention to the cause that they are championing. They want to encourage others to do the same. Some of us cannot help because we know not where we can pitch in. Several times I have been made aware of something I could do because someone else told me about it. I would argue that more often than not the intent is to say more of "come join me" and less of "hey, look at me".

If there are those who are critical of people "praying" for those in hardships, may I suggest that they are not aware of the power of prayer. Prayer has long been a way for people to seek strength and balance in their lives. I do believe that God does hear us and answers our prayers. I believe that it is a real power, but even if you do not share that belief, there is still a power in prayer. Let us assume that God does not hear or answer prayers, just for the sake of argument. When a person prays repeatedly for something, their mind focuses on it. So let us say that I am praying for the plight of Syrian refugees. As I pray daily for these people, it means that their plight is in the front of my mind. As I go throughout my day, my thoughts are on them. I am, at the very least, subconsciously thinking about them. If something comes across my attention about Syrian refugees, I am more likely to pay attention to it. If an opportunity arises to assist them, then I am more likely to notice it and act on it. Even if there is no God for you, that does not mean that a belief in God and action towards it cannot bring about good things.

Finally, I think the main reason why some of us post that our thoughts and prayers are with our loved ones going through trials, or for complete strangers, it is because there may literally be nothing else that we can do to help them, but at the very least they are letting them know that they are not alone. I know when I have mentioned that I am having some troubles, and someone else responds with "I'm praying for you", then I know that someone out there is rooting for me. I also know that when there is a terrorist attack in some far off country, some of us feel helpless. So we post that our thoughts and prayers are with the people of that country, others will respond in kind, and then I know that I am not the only one trying to make sense of a harsh world.

I know that there is a God. I know that prayer has a power to it that I cannot fully explain, but can confirm that it is a real thing. Others will scoff and scorn that, and so be it. That is their right. Maybe, if you are one that is tired of seeing such nonsense as "my thoughts and prayers are with (insert group/person here), then perhaps you could do us all a favor. Consider that by insulting these people, mocking them, or just yelling at them, you are really no better. As I already mentioned, sometimes the people offering thoughts and prayers are indeed providing shallow lip service, but please consider that many of us are actually doing something good. It may not be how you would do something, but that does not make it bad. Instead of yelling through your device, perhaps you could instead offer an option for these people to do some truly "meaningful" service. Or, if that is not enough, scroll on. Really, think of what you are doing. Taking moments out of your busy life to insult people, thinking that by shaming them will cause them to change their behavior. History shows that such actions rarely achieve anything positive.

And if you still can't stop with your disdain for those of us who share our thoughts and prayers, well, I guess there is only one thing I can do for you.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Head-Smashed-In, Spirit Enlightened

There are moments in our lives when something comes into clarity and enlightens our spirits and souls. These "aha" moments, as they are often called, can come in the most random of times, and are best when unexpected. Sometimes we search for these moments, but I like it when they come right out of the blue. It's like getting a card from someone you haven't heard from in a long time. I had one of those experiences yesterday at a place called Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump.

Let me provide some of you a bit of an education on the place, as it might help you understand what I learned. A buffalo jump is a cliff in the prairies that our indigenous people would use to secure a large amount of food in a short time. They would chase huge herds of buffalo off the cliff so they could then gather enough food to last them through the winters. Head-Smashed-In is located just outside of Fort MacLeod, in southern Alberta. It is a historical heritage site that teaches visitors about the buffalo jump and the Blackfoot people who used it. 

Photo courtesy of Kevin Andrews

Yesterday, Heather and I took the girls and my brother Kevin to go and visit the site. The place is beautiful, with the interpretive center built into the cliff side. After spending some time out on the jump, we went inside and started looking at some of the displays. A video was playing on a loop that took various aspects of the natural environment and how the Blackfoot people were affected by these. They spoke of the buffalo, the sun, water, and other components. The girls were drawn to it, so I sat with them and watched. As they spoke about fire and wind, something occurred to me. In the video it talked about how the wind and fire often caused problems for the Blackfoot. The fire would destroy their campsites and sometimes claim their lives. The wind could make hunting the buffalo difficult as if the wind changed direction, the animal's keen sense of smell could detect their approach. As the video continued it went on to explain that although the Blackfoot people struggled against these natural forces, they learned that the fire and wind brought a lot of good things for them. The grasses that were burned by the fire would grow back, greener than before. The wind brought the rains that they needed on a dry prairie. The people learned to use these forces to help them thrive in this region. 

There was my unexpected "AHA!" moment. It occurred to me that in life, there are different ways that we deal with the hardships that we encounter. Some of us hide from hardships. We do everything we can to avoid them. Others find themselves in difficult times and completely withdraw within ourselves. We let our heads hang low, often with some audible moaning and complaints, and just wait it out. I saw in my own life times where I was both of these types of people. I would lock myself in my room and lose myself in something else, hoping that the hardship would go away. I would sometimes see a challenge before me, and look for a way to not have to face the challenge in the first place. Too many times my life was a pity party as I trudged through the storm that blew around me.

Then there are those of us who accept the challenges and learn to see the benefit of them. They look to use it as an opportunity to grow and improve upon themselves. They lose their job, so they take the opportunity to re-educate themselves. I have seen how some with financial hardships use it to teach their children how to life a more frugal life. I have witnessed those struck by an illness as a reason to do things that they didn't have time to do before. I have had others show me how to take a broken relationship and turn it into something to shape themselves into someone better. Before long they take their hardship and turn it into a tool that not only improves their own life but the lives of those around them. 

I don't imply that these people see a hardship and run head first into it. It's not like they wake up one day hoping to get fired from the job they love or become involved in a car accident. They do not necessarily love the hardship, but instead welcome the lesson that they are about to learn. I look back on my own life and I can honestly say that I am not thankful to have experienced a divorce or the deaths of beloved family members. I am not grateful to have been let go from various jobs over time, nor to have been sick when I would have rather been healthy. I am grateful for the man that I have become because of these hardships. I am thankful that I chose to improve myself under these conditions so that I can be better suited to help others. While I did not enjoy the difficult times, I know that I would be a much lesser man if I had not experienced them. 

I also don't want to suggest that we actively seek out some types of hardships. I will not suggest people smoke just so they can experience cancer, or drink heavily so they can face the consequences of liver damage. I do not recommend that you marry someone with the intent of going through a divorce because it "builds character". I am instead talking about the trials that we find ourselves in. Sometimes we could have avoided it, and while it is easy to beat ourselves up over it, we should learn from our mistakes so that we can avoid them in the future. When the hardships of life that we cannot avoid hit us, we should move forward and do our best at growing from the experience.

Just like the fire, our trials can often result in something better growing from its ashes. Just like the wind, our difficulties can bring something that is greatly missing in our lives. We can discover so many great things that come out of hardship. Think of the all the "greats" in the world. Not a single one of them had a life that was free of difficulty. In fact, it is often the case that the greater the success story, the more challenging the life was. All of the greatest authors had their work rejected. All of the greatest athletes lost in the beginning. All the greatest minds had ideas fall apart. All the greatest leaders faced adversity. People are not happier because they avoided hardships, but because they thrived during them.

So let me leave you with a few tips that I have learned about how to avoid hardships. First, don't go through them alone. Strength is not shown in standing in solitude, but instead in standing with others. You can make a single pencil out of the strongest of materials, but you can still snap it in half. When the pencil is put in a bundle of others, together they become unbreakable. Look to your family and your friends for support. Ask for help instead of just wishing it would come.

Second, help others. I have learned that there is no better way to get through the pain then by lessening the burdens that others carry. When my first wife left me, I was devastated. I decided that for my birthday, I would celebrate it differently. Instead of looking at how miserable my life was, I decided to do everything that day for other people. I looked for ways that I could serve those around me. I was alone in my house, so I spent little time in it. I chose not to look at Facebook or emails. I waited until the next day to check the mail for birthday cards or check the phone messages. Instead, I went a took every opportunity to make the lives of those around me better. What could have been one of the most depressing birthdays of my life became one of the greatest. 

Third, know that hardships are temporary. Life is not going to be a constant celebration of everything wonderful. It will have lows as well as highs. When you are in the lows, know that the path will slope up eventually. The darkness always gives way to the light. For some, like my brother TJ, physical difficulties will not go away, but the hardship leaves when you learn as he did to move forward with hope and joy. 

So, as I continued throughout the historical site that is Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, I smiled at the bit of clarity that was so apparent in such a noble and proud people. For centuries the indigenous people had it figured out. Don't run from your trials. Don't bemoan them all over Facebook. Just lean on those around you and push forward. As we grow in strength, we grow in insight. As we grow in wisdom, we can endure more. The tough things in life do not defeat us unless we allow them to. Instead, we should allow them to refine us. It's wisdom that is centuries old. We would be fools to ignore it.

For Those Who Had to Leave

It's June. A time for graduation. A time for endings and beginnings. A time for change and a time for looking towards the future. For me, it is also a time for looking back to the past and a time for reflection. It is a time for accountability and recognition. As I look upon the group of students that will be crossing the stage at the end of the month, who will receive their high school diplomas, I have to think of those who are not going to be on that stage. 

One of the unfortunate things about teaching is that there are students that, for one reason or another, leave and complete their schooling at another school. Some leave because of other courses that they want to take that we don't offer here. Some leave because of changes in their family life that makes it better for them to go to school somewhere closer. Sadly, some leave because they faced a certain type of hardship that I wish nobody faced at my school. They left because they were bullied and picked on. A handful of their classmates decided, for some unknown rationale, that this student deserved to be treated like trash. They believed stories about the kid without even checking to see if they were factual, and then decided to take it upon themselves that to make their life miserable. When these students leave and go to another school, a part of me cries. A part of me wishes that I had the power to sweep away their hurt so that they can stay. I teach in a school that values good character, and I feel deeply saddened when my students fail that portion of life by bullying others. 

It is to those students that felt that they had to leave that I would like to address. I have no idea if you will ever read it. I have no idea if you would even care to. Still, maybe what I will say will resonate with someone. Maybe what I say will help someone. Maybe this will help one person choose kindness over cruelty. One can hope. 

I want you to know that I get why you left. I don't like it, but I get it. I support it, even. In many of those cases, as much as I wished that you could have stayed that last year or two, I know you left for something better for you. You were not safe from torment here, no matter how hard I tried to make it so. You felt that you needed a fresh start. I agree with you. In a perfect world, I would send away the ones who pushed you out so we could keep the delightful light that you brought to us. Then again, if this world was perfect there would be no reason for you to have left in the first place. In a perfect world, those people would have treated you with the love, dignity, and respect that you deserve. So this world is not perfect, and you left.

I wish that I could have done more for you here. Whenever bullying is brought up in the circles of social media there is a loud voice that demands the pound of flesh from bullies as the only acceptable solution. Schools, in their view, never do enough to stop bullying. What is not understood by these individuals is that it is rarely so cut and dry. Bullies are insidious. They are discreet. They hide in plain sight. They rely on whispers and secret notes, midnight texts and anonymous social media accounts to inflict their harm. Sometimes they falsely accuse their targets as the bully, and it is difficult to tell who is being truthful. When we do catch it, we deal with it as swiftly as possible, but too often it becomes a case of your word against theirs. So while I could not stop them from hurting you, I tried to heal the wounds. I attempted to give you a place and a person that would be a haven for you, but I know that is not always enough. Please know that when you left, I prayed for you. That seemed about all that was left that I could do.

I also want you to know that there is something better that comes. Maybe you already found that. When I was in high school, I did not have the option to leave. I survived thanks to a loving family, caring teachers, and a few good friends. I learned that after I left the place where I had experienced so much hurt that the world was much larger, and that there was a place for me. I could get away from the taunts and harassment and be myself in a way I never could before. I discovered that there are happy endings and joyful moments. I found that more of the world is kinder than what I had known. I learned how small those bullies really were. I discovered that I was stronger and smarter and more valued than I had ever believed. I did hard things and grew from them. I had adventures on my terms, not theirs. I learned that life is more than the gossip and social ranks that perpetuate our lives at times. It sounds cliche, but it really does get better. There will still be bullies and hard times, but you hopefully are learning how to cope. Sometimes it involves making a stand, and sometimes it means going somewhere else. Sometimes it means calling out for help, and sometimes it means just enduring until its over. 

So at the end of this school year, I hope that your life is better. I hope that you are happier. I hope that you have learned some of the things that I learned when I was your age (yes, I actually was a teen once). I hope that you will be able to use the pain you experienced as a reminder, that it will help you respond more with kindness than with harshness. Most of all, I hope you remember that I am rooting for you.

Post #101

When I looked at my Might Elroy blog today, I realized two things. One, I needed to write something before the month ended. Two, my last blog was my 100th posting in this blog. I will admit that the Mighty Elroy has evolved a lot over the years. It used to be a way to keep people up to date with what was going on. I had Top 10 lists for most of the early ones, but that has been largely replaced. Over time I started to use this blog as a means of speaking my mind and using my voice in a way that I have never done before. I never expected my blog to become anything substantial in the limitless world of the internet, and so far that expectation has been largely met. Still, it is nice to know that some of my posts have been read by a few hundred individuals, some of them being strangers. So to celebrate this recent achievement, I thought I would share a few things I learned as I blogged.

1. Simply talking is no guarantee that you will be heard. I have noticed that the blogs that I share via social media seem to generate the most page views. When I put forth an effort to advertise myself a bit, people will be more likely to listen. I think the same is true in life. Many times we find ourselves speaking without anyone else listening. That is not always a bad thing, but it is also worth noting. Just saying something is often not enough to be heard. You have to put yourself out there in the process.

2. You can discuss the difficult topics without being difficult. I have addressed a few noteworthy topics in this blog. Everything from misogyny to how zoos treat their animals, from showing compassion and tolerance to gun violence.  I have shown my dislike of President Trump and my disappointment in the general decline of morals and values in our society. Yet, even touching on these sometimes controversial topics, I have always tried to avoid causing others grief. I have not always been successful, but I think I succeed more often than I don't in those regards. However, even if you try to avoid being difficult...

3. You cannot apologize for giving a message that may be difficult for some to hear. Sometimes I can deliver a message that I feel is important without ruffling other people's proverbial feathers. Other times, however, people are going to get their feathers ruffled no matter how you say something. Hey, I think treating all Muslims with suspicion and fear is misguided and wrong. If my saying so makes you uncomfortable, then I am not worried about that. Perhaps you needed to be challenged in that manner. I have learned that my greatest growth and change comes when I have been challenged and made to feel uncomfortable. 

4. Surprises still happen. I have been surprised by how many people have read and shared my blog, by who has read and shared my blog, and by where they are from. Sometimes I write something and it is hardly looked at, Sometimes I write something and the unlikely happening of more than 100 people read it. I am not sure what the magic formula is, but it is nice to know that I can still be pleasantly surprised.

5. Nice matters a lot too. Sometimes my blog posts that mean the most to people are the ones that are about relatively small things, such as a fun day at the park that taught me a valuable insight. My most read blog was a tribute to an actor that was important to me growing up. Bring the niceness. It does more good than you may think it will.

6. Final thing I have learned, is that blogging is fun. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable as you put a piece of yourself out there, but it is fun. If nothing else, you make a mark. It may not be a significant mark, but you have made one.

I hope you enjoyed everything I have written so far, and that you will continue to enjoy what I put forward in the future. 

Old Friends, New Tradition

A month ago an idea popped into my head. I went to a closet and took out a large plastic bin. Opening the lid, I gazed down at an ensemble from my childhood. One by one, I pulled these memories from their storage bin and looked upon them. These were some of my friends as I was growing up. They were companions on many great adventures. We would explore the world from the top bunk of my bedroom. We would fend off the bad guys with our wit and strength. We would face perils and dangers by sticking together. As I placed each one on the floor beside me, I smiled sadly at a childhood that, while not always good, was mostly comfortable. During the difficult times, these valiant compatriots would be there for me.

There was Bob, a handsome brown bear wearing a blue jacket. Robert the Rabbit with his brown coveralls. Husky, a white dog that is definitely looking his age, much like a grizzled veteran of many play times. Next out was Kermit the Frog and Cookie Monster, both of whom had the black ink of their pupils faded with time (losing their eyesight in their old age, I suppose). Bert and Ernie followed, both looking worn and loved. Marty the Monkey with his sown on green hat. Actually, I thought to myself, I have to reconsider his name. Marty the Chimp. That's more like it. Marty doesn't have a tail, but he does look like a monkey rather than an ape. OK, he lost his tail in an accident before finding his way to my bedroom. That works.

Last, I pull out my four favourites. First, Barney the Bison. He is looking as solid and trustworthy as ever. Still missing one of his felt hooves, but that is Barney. Not only was Barney strong, but he was wise and compassionate. Next is Susie Bunny. She was an Easter gift from my grandparents, I think. Her gray fur shows a bald patch in a couple places, but her pink jelly-bean-like nose is as bright as ever. She was adventurous and fun. Sammy Seal follows, All white with a black  nose. He was always the playful one, often getting himself into trouble that the others would help him out of. He has fiercely loyal, and became quite responsible as he grew older. Last is the smallest, a little lion I named Lambert, after the old Disney cartoon. Lambert is brown with a frilly colourful collar. He was the youngest of the group, quite often unsure of himself. I guess that is why I identified with him so much. Though he was the smallest and weakest of the clan, he was also the bravest. He was the one who faced his fears the most often, and he was looked upon fondly by the others.

I looked over my old friends. I greeted each one with a bit of sadness, as I had not taken the time to look at them in years. I speak to them, believing that they will respond while knowing that they cannot. They speak back to me. They are excited to see me. They understand that they have been put away but not forgotten. They know that they were loved my me, and still are. They seem...smaller than I remembered. They are happy that I am doing well. I chuckle and hold Barney close, remembering the feelings and emotions without remembering the specifics and details. The stories and adventures are all blurred in the annals of time, but the feelings are rekindled.

A pair of pitter-pattering feet run into the room. Two little angelic faces look up at me.

"What's that Daddy?" Barbara says.

"What dat, Daddy?" Hope echoes.

"These are some old friends of mine," I explain. "When I was a little boy, they comforted me when I was lonely. They protected me when I was scared. They stayed with me when I was sick. I hadn't seen them for a long time, so I thought I would have a little visit."

"Can I see one?" Barbara asked.

"I see!" Hope demanded.

I look down at my old friends. They seem to wink at me, as if to tell me what they want.

I look at Hope's bed, full of stuffed toys given to her in just three short years. Barbara's bed is fuller still. Surely they wouldn't want these old things, not when they have stuffies that are newer and less worn. Still, they look excited about seeing Daddy's past. I smile. I know exactly what comes next. In all honesty, I was hoping that this would happen as it did.

"Barbara, this is Barney Bison and Susie Bunny," I said as I handed over my two cherished friends. "And Hope, this is Sammy Seal and Lambert Lion."

Each daughter takes her two new toys into their arms. Hope, being not quite three years old, looks at Sammy and Lambert with curiosity, and then hugs them close to her chest when she sees her big sister do the same with Barney and Susie. Hope climbs into her bed with her new toys and gets ready to go to sleep. Barbara runs to her mother and shows her "Daddy's friends". I pack up the rest of the crew, wondering if and when they will be passed on to someone from the next generation of kin. Barbara passes by, going into her room. She looks at me and tells me "Don't worry Daddy. I'll take care of them and you can visit whenever you want!".

Smiling, I thank her for her generous offer. In the days following, Hope has Sammy and Lambert as part of her collection. Nothing special. Barbara, however, has taken a special shine to Susie and Barney. They are important to her, and she gives me regular updates. Sometimes I see her put them to bed in a makeshift cot of blankets that she spreads out on the flood. Often, they accompany her into our room in the mornings when she wakes up before us. She always lets me know she is taking good care of my friends. That's nice, because they took good care of me.

I must confess, I miss parts of my childhood. These stuffed toys, decades old now, were important to me because other parts of my childhood were not. They provided friendship, outlets for imagination, and hours of enjoyment. I know they are just inanimate objects, but they were there when human friends were not. Yes, I was teased by some when they found out I had "dolls". After a while, I just kept that part of my life to myself. Something that was mine alone, and now is shared with my daughters. I hope that the girls will get the same happiness from them, without the loneliness that necessitated it. I know that ultimately they will end up discarded at some point. Maybe not with the girls, but eventually. Not much lasts forever in this world. Not my friends, not my childhood. But how long things like this last is not what is most important. Instead, it is the impact on our lives that matters. For me, a small collection of stuffed toys brought happiness. For my daughters and grandchildren, perhaps the magic can continue.

If nothing else, it was a nice moment.

One of Those Blogs

I have been blogging for quite a few years now. Some times I take it quite seriously, other times, not so much. My blog evolved from an online journal that allowed friends and family to stay updated with the happenings of my life, to a forum where I would share things that I found interesting, to more lately a place for me to share some of my thoughts and perspectives. I have tackled issues such as misogyny, racism, religious persecution, the role of education, zoos, and other interesting topics. As I was pondering about the subject of my next posting, I realized that there was one popular blog topic that I have yet write about. In fact, I am surprised that I have not written about this yet. This type of blog comes in many different forms and styles, and covers a myriad of different subjects, but it is one that bears addressing. I am talking about the Guilt Blog.

You know what I'm talking about, right? Pick any given topic, from parenting to carpooling, from diet and exercise to tipping. Research blog posts on that topic, and you will undoubtedly find an entire Google page full of blogs that will tell you that everything you know or do with regards to that topic is one thing: WRONG! Yup, you are sleeping incorrectly. Everything you do as a parent will in some way traumatize your children. Every kind of food is both good and bad for you, depending on who you ask, but regardless of which you are eating it wrong. You are worshiping God wrong, you are going to church wrong, you are a fool for believing or not believing. Every exercise known to man (and a few that aren't) are both going to give you the body that you always dreamed of having and are preparing you for an untimely premature death. And politics, oh, politics. According to bloggers everywhere there is no end to the conspiracies and ideals around political viewpoints. Everything is both "alternative facts" and "gospel truth". I am likely guilty of this myself at times. It is just so easy when you are writing on the internet to present your opinions as "factual". Sure, when discussing things like compassion, bullying and human rights, it is easy to assume that you have reached a moral high ground. When I read these types of blogs, it is easy to have other people convince you and form your opinion for you. We see something that we are doing that suddenly, when a certain type of light is shone upon it, becomes the worst thing ever you could do. These viewpoints are often backed up with convincing arguments, the type that are stated with so much confidence and statistics (65% of which are likely made up anyways), that we start to doubt if we are good and wholesome people. Opinion pieces and editorials have become some strange sort of litmus test towards how you are doing in all aspects of your life. It is mind boggling at best, and destructive to the soul at its worst.

Since it looks like I will be making a guilt blog about guilt blogs. let me identify the typical, almost cliche tricks of the trade. First, use of smarmy humor (let's see...ah, yes. Stating that 65% of statistics are made up. Smarmy humor, check). Second, quotation marks and capitalized words for emphasis (WRONG! and "alternative facts". Check!). Third, numbered lists to provide bullet points for people to check off (Hey, that's what I'm doing right now! Check!). Finally, a picture with a quote from the blog to provide a quick little literary equivalent of a sound bite. Hmmmm, don't have that yet. Well, here we go.

Finally, a picture with a quote from the blog to provide the literary equivalent of a sound bite

OK, one more list. When I read through these types of blogs, I find that by using some critical thinking skills and remembering some important reminders I can emerge from the end of the article with my esteem and self-worth intact. Here we go.

1. Don't forget, the vast majority of these are opinions of other people. Yes, the person may be a celebrity, a family member, or an expert in their field, but typically they are opinions. Quite often opinions are going to be shared by like-minded people, but that does not mean that they are necessarily correct. Nor does it mean that they are wrong. They are just one person's perspective that may or may not be relevant to you.

2. Understand the bias of the writer. Each writer has a bias, and it is very difficult to avoid it when writing. When it comes to these types of blog posts, it is impossible. If you can get to the root of the bias, it might help you understand where the writer is coming from. This can help you sort out what advice is good, and what is useless to you at the present moment.

3. Take only what will help you. I think that if after reading the article you feel that you are a horrible person who will only be redeemed if you do everything that the article you just read tells you to do, then you are not being helped by the article. Read through the article and ask yourself what in that article is actually something that can help you. Maybe something in the article is actually something that can help you improve. Great! That does not mean that every word is written especially for you. Just take the few things that provide you what you need and leave the rest.

4. Don't confuse finding improvements to make in your life with being a failure. Is it possible that I have made mistakes when raising my children? Yes, absolutely it is. In fact, I can guarantee it and provide you lists of evidence to support that statement. Does that make me a bad father? I hope not. So if I read an article about parenting and find one suggestion that makes sense to me to implement to try to be a better parent, this does not imply that I am a bad parent. Now, if you are constantly smacking your kids around in drunken stupors while depriving them of adequate food, then yes, you are a bad parent. Actually, you are a horrible parent and likely a horrible human being. But since that is likely not to be the case with you, then accept that you are not perfect and move on with your life. Make an improvement as you see fit, but please do not assume that you are the worst at everything because you can do a little better here and there. 

So, I hope my guilt blog helps you with future guilt blogs. And if you disagree with anything that I have written here, well, that is just fine by me. All I'm saying is, be true to yourself.