My Thoughts and Prayers...

So there is something that has been bothering me a while, and I think now is as good of time as any to address it. There has been a few postings on social media of a variation of a meme. It involves the tendency of a person who, when they hear of something bad that has happened, will respond with the phrase "my thoughts and prayers are with you/them...". The meme is usually of the vein that suggests that such a posting is pointless, worthless, and void of any intent to do good. They suggest that because those who post that only post that and go on with their lives, doing nothing else to improve the situation. They mock those of us who pray for others as fools who want to pay lip service when others suffering while bringing attention to how thoughtful we are in our social media postings.

Well, those memes have been bothering me for a while now. Thankfully, these only seem to appear in postings from public groups and not from a lot of people that I know, but they do bother me. For a while, I was having trouble figuring out why they bothered me so. Earlier this week, I figured it out.

They bother me because they are right...

...and they are wrong. 

Let me address the first claim. Yes, too often those of us who say this are guilty of only doing only the token show of concern by expressing that we will think about and pray for those who are suffering, and then go on with our lives. One of the messages that I agree with in these memes is that if we have the capability of doing more than just simply wishing them well, then we should be doing more. If you were hungry, I could say that I will pray that you have enough to eat. Better would be to give you some food so that you are not hungry anymore. If you were on fire and I had a hose, I think you would rather that I use that hose to put out the fire that is currently scorching your skin before I start saying a prayer for you. When there is action that one can provide and we instead just offer our "thoughts and prayers", then we are missing the point of prayers. I do believe in God, and I believe that He will often answer our prayers by enlisting others to help out. 

Here is where I think these guys are wrong. I feel they falsely assume some key things whenever someone posts that. First, they assume that the person is only posting it and doing nothing else. Sorry, but in a world where we are constantly yelling at each other that we shouldn't wrongly judge each other, they have just wrongly judged some of us. Last year during the wildfires that destroyed a significant portion of Fort McMurray, I saw many people say that they were praying for the people who had fled their homes and businesses. I then saw, over the next several weeks, those same people talk about how they donated blood, belongings, or money. Some opened their homes to family and friends who were displaced. Others went and volunteered at fund raisers to help out those who were less fortunate. They did post about "thoughts and prayers", but followed up with actions that helped ease the situation of those they were thinking and praying about. They talked the talk, and then walked the walk.

So why do they post about it on social media? Isn't that drawing attention to themselves?


That is yet another faulty assumption. There are many reasons why people post the things that they are doing on Facebook and tweet about it later. Yes, some of us do it to draw attention to ourselves, but more often than not the goal is far greater. They want to draw attention to the cause that they are championing. They want to encourage others to do the same. Some of us cannot help because we know not where we can pitch in. Several times I have been made aware of something I could do because someone else told me about it. I would argue that more often than not the intent is to say more of "come join me" and less of "hey, look at me".

If those who are critical of the people "praying" for those in hardships, may I suggest that they are not aware of the power of prayer. Prayer has long been a way for people to seek strength and balance in their lives. I do believe that God does hear us and answers our prayers. I believe that it is a real power, but even if you do not share that belief, there is still a power in prayer. Let us assume that God does not hear or answer prayers, just for the sake of argument. When a person prays repeatedly for something, their mind focuses on it. So let us say that I am praying for the plight of Syrian refugees. As I pray daily for these people, it means that their plight is in the front of my mind. As I go throughout my day, my thoughts are on them. I am, at the very least, subconsciously thinking about them. If something comes across my attention about Syrian refugees, I am more likely to pay attention to it. If an opportunity arises to assist them, then I am more likely to notice it and act on it. Even if there is no God for you, that does not mean that a belief in God and action towards it cannot bring about good things.

Finally, I think the main reason why some of us post that our thoughts and prayers are with our loved ones going through trials, or for complete strangers, it is because there may literally be nothing else that we can do to help them, but at the very least they are letting them know that they are not alone. I know when I have mentioned that I am having some troubles, and someone else responds with "I'm praying for you", then I know that someone out there is rooting for me. I also know that when there is a terrorist attack in some far off country, some of us feel helpless. So we post that our thoughts and prayers are with the people of that country, others will respond in kind, and then I know that I am not the only one trying to make sense of a harsh world.

I know that there is a God. I know that prayer has a power to it that I cannot fully explain, but can confirm that it is a real thing. Others will scoff and scorn that, and so be it. That is their right. Maybe, if you are one that is tired of seeing such nonsense as "my thoughts and prayers are with (insert group/person here), then perhaps you could do us all a favor. Consider that by insulting these people, mocking them, or just yelling at them, you are really no better. As I already mentioned, sometimes the people offering thoughts and prayers are indeed providing shallow lip service, but please consider that many of us are actually doing something good. It may not be how you would do something, but that does not make it bad. Instead of yelling through your device, perhaps you could instead offer an option for these people to do some truly "meaningful" service. Or, if that is not enough, scroll on. Really, think of what you are doing. Taking moments out of your busy life to insult people, thinking that by shaming them will cause them to change their behavior. History shows that such actions rarely achieve anything positive.

And if you still can't stop with your disdain for those of us who share our thoughts and prayers, well, I guess there is only one thing I can do for you.

I'll keep you in my prayers.