One of Those Blogs

I have been blogging for quite a few years now. Some times I take it quite seriously, other times, not so much. My blog evolved from an online journal that allowed friends and family to stay updated with the happenings of my life, to a forum where I would share things that I found interesting, to more lately a place for me to share some of my thoughts and perspectives. I have tackled issues such as misogyny, racism, religious persecution, the role of education, zoos, and other interesting topics. As I was pondering about the subject of my next posting, I realized that there was one popular blog topic that I have yet write about. In fact, I am surprised that I have not written about this yet. This type of blog comes in many different forms and styles, and covers a myriad of different subjects, but it is one that bears addressing. I am talking about the Guilt Blog.

You know what I'm talking about, right? Pick any given topic, from parenting to carpooling, from diet and exercise to tipping. Research blog posts on that topic, and you will undoubtedly find an entire Google page full of blogs that will tell you that everything you know or do with regards to that topic is one thing: WRONG! Yup, you are sleeping incorrectly. Everything you do as a parent will in some way traumatize your children. Every kind of food is both good and bad for you, depending on who you ask, but regardless of which you are eating it wrong. You are worshiping God wrong, you are going to church wrong, you are a fool for believing or not believing. Every exercise known to man (and a few that aren't) are both going to give you the body that you always dreamed of having and are preparing you for an untimely premature death. And politics, oh, politics. According to bloggers everywhere there is no end to the conspiracies and ideals around political viewpoints. Everything is both "alternative facts" and "gospel truth". I am likely guilty of this myself at times. It is just so easy when you are writing on the internet to present your opinions as "factual". Sure, when discussing things like compassion, bullying and human rights, it is easy to assume that you have reached a moral high ground. When I read these types of blogs, it is easy to have other people convince you and form your opinion for you. We see something that we are doing that suddenly, when a certain type of light is shone upon it, becomes the worst thing ever you could do. These viewpoints are often backed up with convincing arguments, the type that are stated with so much confidence and statistics (65% of which are likely made up anyways), that we start to doubt if we are good and wholesome people. Opinion pieces and editorials have become some strange sort of litmus test towards how you are doing in all aspects of your life. It is mind boggling at best, and destructive to the soul at its worst.

Since it looks like I will be making a guilt blog about guilt blogs. let me identify the typical, almost cliche tricks of the trade. First, use of smarmy humor (let's see...ah, yes. Stating that 65% of statistics are made up. Smarmy humor, check). Second, quotation marks and capitalized words for emphasis (WRONG! and "alternative facts". Check!). Third, numbered lists to provide bullet points for people to check off (Hey, that's what I'm doing right now! Check!). Finally, a picture with a quote from the blog to provide a quick little literary equivalent of a sound bite. Hmmmm, don't have that yet. Well, here we go.

Finally, a picture with a quote from the blog to provide the literary equivalent of a sound bite

OK, one more list. When I read through these types of blogs, I find that by using some critical thinking skills and remembering some important reminders I can emerge from the end of the article with my esteem and self-worth intact. Here we go.

1. Don't forget, the vast majority of these are opinions of other people. Yes, the person may be a celebrity, a family member, or an expert in their field, but typically they are opinions. Quite often opinions are going to be shared by like-minded people, but that does not mean that they are necessarily correct. Nor does it mean that they are wrong. They are just one person's perspective that may or may not be relevant to you.

2. Understand the bias of the writer. Each writer has a bias, and it is very difficult to avoid it when writing. When it comes to these types of blog posts, it is impossible. If you can get to the root of the bias, it might help you understand where the writer is coming from. This can help you sort out what advice is good, and what is useless to you at the present moment.

3. Take only what will help you. I think that if after reading the article you feel that you are a horrible person who will only be redeemed if you do everything that the article you just read tells you to do, then you are not being helped by the article. Read through the article and ask yourself what in that article is actually something that can help you. Maybe something in the article is actually something that can help you improve. Great! That does not mean that every word is written especially for you. Just take the few things that provide you what you need and leave the rest.

4. Don't confuse finding improvements to make in your life with being a failure. Is it possible that I have made mistakes when raising my children? Yes, absolutely it is. In fact, I can guarantee it and provide you lists of evidence to support that statement. Does that make me a bad father? I hope not. So if I read an article about parenting and find one suggestion that makes sense to me to implement to try to be a better parent, this does not imply that I am a bad parent. Now, if you are constantly smacking your kids around in drunken stupors while depriving them of adequate food, then yes, you are a bad parent. Actually, you are a horrible parent and likely a horrible human being. But since that is likely not to be the case with you, then accept that you are not perfect and move on with your life. Make an improvement as you see fit, but please do not assume that you are the worst at everything because you can do a little better here and there. 

So, I hope my guilt blog helps you with future guilt blogs. And if you disagree with anything that I have written here, well, that is just fine by me. All I'm saying is, be true to yourself.