OK, I need to get something off of my chest. I apologize for the length of the following status update. I know that many will see the length of this and scroll down to something more entertaining and easier to absorb, and so be it. This is not one of those manipulative “If you really care about X you will like and share” postings, but I do ask you to give this a read because I feel it is an important message that is not being heard enough these days. I thank all of you in advance who will bear with me and read the whole thing, and I understand why some of you won’t.
I have seen a lot of posts these last several weeks on the growing crisis in the Middle East and Europe with respect to refugees. In many of these posts, I am seeing a disturbing trend in these articles that makes me wonder if some of my friends are actually fully reading these articles before sharing them. These articles are reporting on terrible things some of these refugees are doing in Europe. There are implications that some of the refugees being ISIS members who are using this tragedy to infiltrate western countries and continue their war from within (I point out that the articles range in numbers from a few to the majority). There is rampant speculation and mistrust towards Muslims in these articles, and this is what worries me the most. In these articles they talk about the threat that Muslims pose. Note, these articles are not saying "radical Muslims", "extremist Muslims", are even "some Muslims". They say Muslims, as if all Muslims threaten our lives and culture.
To my friends that have fallen into this trap of scaremongering (either unknowingly or wilfully), I ask you to consider my perspective. I prefer not to say that I have Muslim friends, because I simply see them as friends. I hate saying I teach Muslim students, because they are simply my students. I don't like saying that I have "Muslim neighbours" because to me, they are my neighbours. However, since many people are talking about Muslims in general terms, then I will speak on behalf of my friends, students, and neighbours who happen to be of the Muslim faith. What I have to say is STOP LUMPING THEM INTO THE SAME GROUP AS THOSE WHO ARE SPREADING TERROR! These are people that I love and respect, because, big surprise, they love and respect me. Many of them have moved to this country to find a better way of life and have sacrificed much to adapt to this country and its culture. They are good, honest people who simply want to live their life and practice their religion in peace. Yes, there are Muslims who try to impose their values and views on others, but that is true of EVERY GROUP, whether it be cultural, religious, or other. They do not deserve to be told to "change the way you dress, the way you speak, etc. or get out of our country". They do not deserve it! Besides, as North Americans, who are we, all immigrants in our own right, to make such a demand when the indigenous peoples of this land were subjugated to our way of life in what was often a brutal and violent manner?
To my friends, I ask you to be careful of what you are posting. When you share articles that discriminate against Muslims, you are participating in the discrimination of people that I care about, and this puts me on the defensive. You are hating my brothers and sisters. You are hating my friends and co-workers. You are hating my students, who I see as my kids. I look at the history of my own church and the rampant mistrust and discrimination that was used against its early members, and ask why should I do the same to another group? I do not forget that in the early days of my church, Mormons were chased from their homes, their leaders beaten and murdered, false charges brought up against its membership, told that they do not belong, to stop imposing their values on others and be like everyone else or be forced to leave. I will not forget that in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave there was an extermination order issued against the members of my church in the state of Missouri. Because I do not forget about this, I will not stand silent when another group of people are facing lies, prejudices, and fear tactics to turn popular opinion against them. Stop feeding the fear. If you really want to stand against those who are inflicting terror against the world (ISIS, Boko Haram, and other extremist groups), then you will stop generalizing that all Muslims are the same. You might as well say that all Christians are like the KKK, or all Vietnamese are like the Viet Cong, or all Russians are commies, or all those who vote conservative are racist intolerant bigots. They aren’t. Please note that when you share a story that says “Are you worried about what Muslims are doing to your country?” or “Muslims will not assimilate into our culture” you are, in fact, implying that you believe that all Muslims are doing this. I hate to break it to you so bluntly, but if that is how you truly feel about Muslims, you are one word: WRONG.
I want you to know that if you are sharing these lies to make a stand for what you believe is “right”, then, my dear friend (and I am sincere with that label), I do not stand with you. I still love you and will call you friend, but on this I stand with the good Muslim people of my community who go to work, try to live their beliefs to the best of their abilities, and every day go about their business. I am not standing with the terrorists. I am not standing with those who are committing despicable acts. I am standing with the people who are being falsely and unjustly painted with the same brush as a terrorist. I am standing with the people I know. I am standing with my Muslim students who give me Christmas presents every year for being their teacher. I am standing with my Muslim friend who came to the open house of my church’s temple in Calgary three years ago. I am standing with my Muslim neighbours who give to the food drive I help organize each year. I am standing with those who would stand with me when people accuse me of being things that I am not because of my religion. You are free to think that I am naïve, or foolish, or a bleeding heart. You might dismiss this as a rambling that is misguided. You may think “When those Muslims hurt someone he loves he will get no sympathy from me because I told him to not trust them”, and I get it. Again, if that is how you think of me, know that you are mistaken. Some of you will likely read this and continue posting and sharing the hate. I can’t stop you. But maybe, just maybe, what I am saying is causing you to rethink a few things. Just maybe this lengthy read might stir inside of you something will cause you to see a woman in a hijab in a different light. Maybe you will delete the articles you have shared from your timeline, and just maybe, you will see my friends, students, and neighbours as I see them. They are children of God, just like you and me. We are brothers and sisters. If we want to stand against the terrorists, then we should embrace the Muslim members of our communities, get to know them, and befriend them more. For those that have endured to the end of this, I thank you.
So there it is. Likely the longest Facebook status update I have ever posted. The overwhelming response has been positive, with most people agreeing with what I said. There were even some that had been sharing some of these worrisome articles that responded in a good manner, agreeing with the gist of what I was saying. I don't know how many people changed their viewpoints on the topic, but many felt that what I had said was something that needed to be said.
There were a few that were... shall we say, a bit offended at my stand. So be it. It was argued that what I said was divisive. Maybe so, but only to the point where I separated those who understand the fallacy of judging an entire group of people based on the actions of a few and those who cannot or will not let go of their fears or prejudices. More than that, I said what needed to be said. Since that time I have learned that there is a gradual turning around on this subject. More people are becoming aware of the anti-Muslim sentiments and are making their own stands against it. More are realising the true divisiveness in this issue, and are coming together instead. That gives me hope. As I said in my earlier post, I cannot stand with those who will judge an entire community based on the actions of a few. I have been the victim of that in the past, and I know the harm it causes first hand. I will continue to hope that things will improve. For those who have caused me offence in this experience, I wish them well and forgive them, but I cannot trust them until I see true signs of change. For those I have offended, I hope they will find it in their hearts to forgive myself and others, but there is little I can do to force the issue. I will continue to stand against the evils in the world, whether it be ISIS or the intolerance of those around me. Some may accuse me of being prideful, arrogant, or self-righteous for what I have said. I suspect that they feel this way in order to suppress the twinge they felt in their conscience that suggests that I hit a bit too close to home in them. In the end, a conversation I had with a trusted friend and colleague brought out a great thought. I would rather be accused of loving too freely than to be accused of hating too easily.
My Top Ten List is a list of Ten Things I learned through this experience:
10. We all have valid reasons for believing what do. Even though I disagreed with the anger of one friend, I understood where it came from and accept it.
9. The dangers of "Black and White" thinking. First, there are things in this world that are right, and things that are wrong. Abusing a child is wrong. Rape is wrong. Comforting a crying child is right. Forgiving others is right. Having said that, there is a risk involved with seeing everything as Black or White, Right or Wrong, with no middle ground or spectrum. The danger is not being able to see the beauty in all the colour that is in the world.
8. Making a stand can be divisive. At least, that was one thing I was accused of. I didn't think so, but maybe there is some truth to it. It separated those that will see people for who they truly are from those that will judge and hate an entire group based on the actions of a few.
7. Making a stand can be unifying. So often we worry about the differences we have with others. So often we get caught up over how we disagree with who someone else votes for, or whether or not we see eye-to-eye with someone on all things. When a stand is made on solid moral ground, we see others of all walks come together to stand with you. Of that I am thankful.
6. What's done is done, what's said is said. You may not have liked the outcome to your fullest liking, but you can't undo that which you have done. Accept it and move on.
5. It is hard to let go (but should still be encouraged). Some people have deep-seeded reasons for how they feel, for better or for worse. We cannot expect others to let go immediately of their fears or prejudices, but that doesn't mean that we stop encouraging them.
4. Spring cleaning can be done at any time. We need to periodically do an inventory of our life and start getting rid of things that bring us down. That can include relationships. If nothing else, this event helped me remove some negative influences in my life.
3. Standing alone often speaks for the many. One of the main comments I received over and over was the idea that what I had the courage to say was a message that many were hoping would be said. When we take that first step to speak out, we may initially feel that we will be alone on this matter. What ends up happening is that we find we are surrounded by many who agree with us standing by us.
2. Standing for what is right has a cost, but that shouldn't make the stand any less right. Seldom is this type of stand easy to make. Seldom is it popular. Many instances in history show that making a stand for what is right will lead to a cost. This time around, it likely cost me some respect and friendship in the eyes of a few. I said some hard things, that is true. I felt compelled to say them, and I do not regret what I did for a moment.
1. Take courage. I debated what I was going to write for quite a while. I wrote and edited the original post several times before it was something I felt good about posting. Some suggested that maybe I should not have posted it at all if it made even one person upset. I just couldn't. For too long those thoughts had rolled around in my brain. For too long I had seen people that, for the most part, were sharing ideas that I felt were hidden and not truly their own. It took courage to post what I did. It was the right thing to do. I sense many people were positively affected by this. It brings me peace to know that good has come of this.
