Whoops!

Oh my. I heard that time flies, and here we are, one year down and I only blogged once back in January. I had a couple people mention that they were wondering what happened to The Mighty Elroy. I guess my only answer is: life. This has been a very busy year, so I will give you a rundown, at least for the first 6 months.

January was cold. February was short. March was winter not giving up. April was spring almost getting here. May was warm. June was warm. Done. OK, so I'll give you more than that. Here are the highlights from the first half of 2011.

We were planning on going to Utah to visit Heather's friend Anika for Spring Break. Unfortunately, a few days prior to our departure Heather started complaining about abdominal pains. As it turned out, she had a ectopic pregnancy that put her in the hospital for a few days. As sad as that was, it was a blessing that it happened when it did instead of when we were on the road. So, instead of going to Utah, we did a couple days in Edmonton. While we were there, I did something I had never done while I had lived in Edmonton: we visited the Underwater sea caverns in West Edmonton Mall. It was surprisingly good. Small, but quaint. We also found a new Killer Bunnies game: Killer Bunnies and the Ultimate Odyssey. Lots of fun with one little upsetting feature that led to me making a new friend (to come in the next blog entry).

May was also a very challenging month that was quite rewarding in the same vein. Graduation saw me being asaked by the class to give their toast from the staff. This was a very special group of students to me. I had become quite close with many of them. To be asked amongst all of my colleagues to give this address was a great honour. My toast was something that was difficult to write. My emotions were mixed in that I was happy to have been their teacher and excited to see them head out into the world, yet saddened that I would no longer see them every day at work. The morning of we had the grad ceremonies. While I cannot post a link to the YouTube video, the graduating class did a flash mob which for me symbolized their liveliness and love of life. It reminded me a lot about why I am a teacher and it was one of the greatest days of my year.

I'll have more to say in the next post (tomorrow or Sunday). Here is the Top 10 list, and a guess as to what the next list will be.


Top Ten Most Disappointing/Stupid/Dumb Things of 2011
10. “Photoshop PM” - The Toronto Star was trying to create a controversy over the Christmas card that Prime Minister Stephan Harper and his family sent out this year. What was their problem? Not Kyoto. Not the Wheat board. Not the gun registry. It was because Stephan and his two children were wearing the same clothes as last year’s card. The journalist (if you could call this person such) then went on to surmise that this was cleverly photo-shopped. I saw the two cards, and man, am I glad that the Star has brought this to the country’s attention. With all the crime in the streets and the chaos in the Middle East, with all the starving children and hatred in the world, this is the crème de la crème of evilness. (Yes, that was sarcasm). Thankfully, the majority of people who commented on the article were lambasting the Star for making a mountain out of even less than a molehill. Dumb dumb dumb.

9. Gimme Gizmos. I have nothing against Steve Jobs. I think he was a visionary in his own right and that his passing was sad, but the amount of public wailing left me a bit perplexed. This falls in the disappointing category in that it seemed that people were willing to take a man who was the best in his field and try to turn him into deity. This is not a slam against Steve Jobs or Apple ®, but it seemed to shine a light on how shallow some people’s lives have become due to gadgets and gizmos. Again, this is not a criticism on Jobs, Gates, or anyone else, but all I heard after Jobs’ passing was “Oh, I couldn’t live without my Iphone/Ipod/Idon’tcare.” It just seems that we have lost our connection to each other as we try to become more connected.

8. On the Fringe. This summer, as I try to do every summer, I went with my wife and the Harkers to the Edmonton Fringe festival. We usually try to find something entertaining yet non-offensive. In the past we have found some real gems (the Pretenors has become a real favourite). This year, sadly, we hit a turkey. The Super Villain Monologues seemed very promising and right up our alley. While there were some fairly clever skits, they felt the need to get downright filthy in most of their offerings. I understand artistic license, but constant use of the F word in humor is just tiresome. What was really sad was that they, like many in this field of art, feel that humour must be offensive. We at least know which troupe to avoid in the future.

7. What Are You Saying? I can understand why people would use abbreviations in their texting and instant messaging. The problem comes in how I have heard more and more of my students and even my own boys using such jargon in their speech. It was really made apparent to me how bad it had gotten when Dayton started saying “lol” instead of laughing out loud. I guess I have become a true adult as, like the generations of my parents and grand-parents, I can no longer understand what the teenagers are saying. Well, that’s not entirely true. I can understand them, I just shake my head at the loss of communication as technology makes it easier to communicate.

6. Crowchild Crazies. Every morning I take Crowchild to get to work. Almost every morning I see one person who really believes that the road belongs to them. To provide context, I eventually need to be in the far left lane. To avoid the scenario of trying to push my way in 500 meters before I need said lane, I get into it as soon as it is safe and typically end up being in that lane for most of the time I am on Crowchild. Now, to make matters worse, I am not one of those drivers who views speed limits as suggestions but as laws. I have seen how just 5km/h more speed can have serious consequences. This annoys some drivers in Calgary to no end. How dare a person drive only 1 or 2 km/h over the speed limit drive in the left hand lane? Isn’t there a law for that? Answer is: no. On highways, yes, but Crowchild is a city street, not a highway. When I ask police officers, they unanimously inform me that there is no such law and that speeding drivers are much more dangerous than what I do. So, if you are late for work and see my Ford Focus in front of you and I am actually only traveling the posted limit, don’t tailgate me, honk your horn at me, flash your high beams, or give me the dirty look/middle finger salute as you zip by me on the right. Get over yourself. I’ll see you at the next traffic light anyways. Talk to me then if you really have a problem with my driving, but I will not speed for your self-imposed laws of the land. If I have not explained myself clearly enough, then let me rephrase it into a language you can understand: “Bite me”.

5. Scary Romney. I always get a chuckle out of elections. The promises, the debates, the facades, and the mud flinging are always good entertainment (tongue firmly in cheek here). For the upcoming election next year, there has been much of the absurdity that has been launched at Mitt Romney that has ended up showing how hypocritical some Republicans (and Democrats and just ordinary Americans for that matter) are. First off, it was all the typical Mormon bashing. I came to a realization this year that I really should stop worrying about whether or not other Christians feel that I am Christian. It’s not a popularity contest, it’s just opinion. I feel that I am Christian, and that’s enough. Still, when it continues on at a national level then there is still bigotry in America (and anyone who will argue that Mormons are bigots have just proved my point). What was really laughable was that people were digging up dirt on Mitt, and what they found was…squat. Oh, he tried a cigarette and a beer once as a teen (many LDS teens have, though not me), and there was the dog carrier up on the roof on a trip to Canada (and I have seen worse from people who let their dog ride in the back of a pickup truck), but that is it. Yeesh, if that is the best Mormon or Romney haters can come up with, America would be hard pressed to do better.

4. It’s Time to Meet the Commies on the Muppet Show Tonight! Idiot of the year goes to the jerks at Fox News who actually tried to convince us that the new movie called The Muppets is trying to brainwash our children into hating the wealthy. WHAT!? How bogus can you get? There is a villain called Tex Richman who is a greedy oil tycoon trying to destroy the Muppet Theatre in order to get to oil underneath. Wow! I never saw the connection before! Time to kick the kneecaps of anyone who makes more money than I do! This is a first, of course. Well, as long as you do not count Scrooge, the Sheriff of Nottingham, Mr. Burns, almost all of the last dozen Bond villains and the 1% (see entry #2). And we have had absolutely zero wealthy heroes coming from literature and Hollywood, at least, if you don’t include Batman, Daddy Warbucks, Richie Rich, Charlie and his Angels, Hugo from Lost, and the Queen. Come on! The Muppets brainwashing kids is about as dumb as saying that Kermit the Frog is a communist because his tongue is green.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl6ekkvWnOE

3. Leave it to Beaver. A couple months ago, Senator Nicole Eaton decided to strike up a cause that was so fundamentally bad and absurd that she makes it to the podium of my list. Her goal: replace the beaver as Canada’s national animal with the polar bear. What is her reason to crusade against Canada’s favourite critter? Apparently the little beasties have been wreaking havoc on the dock of her private lake-side cabin. Well, her actions caused me to take action, and for the first time I wrote a letter to a senator. She suggested that national symbols can be replaced as the country evolves. I agreed with her, and suggested that the Senate go before the beaver.

2. Occupy This! A few months ago, a group of disgruntled citizens came up with the idea of protesting the 1% of the world who became wealthy at the expense of the rest of the 99%. Initially, their idea of protesting on Wall Street seemed clever. Soon, all across the world, dissatisfied people began to protest on mass The Occupy Movement soon degenerated into a situation where this small faction representing the majority became a bunch of whiners whose message was lost. They were vandalizing public property and leaving it to the rest of us 99ers to foot the bill. Civil disobedience may be called for in some cases, but not this one. It just seemed like a bunch of people found a way to camp out somewhere and get attention at the expense of their cause, not the support of it. Then they tried to occupy Christmas and tell people to not buy anything. If we were to do this, of course, it would result in the retailers losing money and laying off workers who make up (wait for it), the 99%! So, to get what you want, you want to hurt the people you represent? Please, make it 99% minus one for me.

1. A Black Eye on All Canucks. I have always hoped that a Canadian based team would win the Stanley Cup, and do it for the fans that have made this our national sport. This is why I cheered for Vancouver when they made it to the Stanley Cup playoffs this year. Losing in Game 7 left me thinking that maybe Vancouver is the wrong city for this. The real fans gave the Bruins an ovation when they hoisted the cup. The real idiots decided to trash the place, embarrassing not only the Vancouver Canucks but Canadians everywhere. Thankfully, social media has helped in getting many of these cowards arrested, and the stories of former Miss Congenialities, honor students, and athletes causes me to have zero sympathy for them. Forget the fact that who are a disgrace to hockey fans, you assaulted the brave people who tried to get you to stop. I do not care about the mob mentality, I hope the book is thrown at every one of them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csLoSiBluc0&feature=fvst

Hello New Decade

Well, here we are at the start of a new decade. Sorry to all who celebrated the new decade a year early, but as I look back on the last ten years, I am amazed at everything that happened. In the world we started it off with the worst terrorist attack on US soil that launched us into a decade filled with wars on terror, panic, security measures, and 8 years of President Bush. We had the information overload as the internet blew forward and opened us to ideas like Social Networking, apps, and infinite ways to waste time while farming virtual crops and tweeting about every pointless thing. Everything from Star Trek to Marvel universe were rebooted, reimagined, or revamped. What was old became new, and what was new became old. On the big screens we were dazzled by hobbits and robots, heroes and villains, werewolves and vampires, boy wizards and avatars. On the small screen we loved Raymond, investigated with CSIs, loved the number 24, got Lost (though some people didn't get it at the end), discovered Heroes (and then quickly were disappointed by it), and learned that Canada CAN create an original, hilarious, and successful show in Corner Gas. Politics saw the first black US president, and Stephen Harper staying as prime minister for far longer than anyone ever expected. We saw four leaders of the Liberal Party of Canada, each more ineffective and unimpressive than the last. We said hello to some greats such as Steve Carrell, Taylor Swift, Stephanie Meyers, Carrie Underwood, Lady Antebellum, and Daniel Radcliffe in the entertainment world, but also had to endure the arrivals of Lady Gaga, Eminem, Robert Pattison, and way to many reality TV stars. We said goodbye to Bob Hope, Ray Charles, Mr Rogers, Johnny and June Carter Cash, Eartha Kit, Michael Jackson, Leslie Nelson, Heath Ledger, Steve Irwin, Pope John Paul II, and Gordon B Hinckley. Sarah Pallin put Alaska on the map (and missed where Russia is), Peter Jackson swept the Oscars with Return of the King, and J.K. Rowling wrapped up the Harry Potter story. Same-sex marriage became reality, and those who tried to preserve the sanctity of marriage were villainized and trod upon in the name of equality. While our world became more global these last ten years, I can't help but feel that we as a people became more...fallen. Way more selfish, rude, offensive, and insensitive, despite making such great strides in many areas.

For myself personally this decade has been one of growth and discovery, trial and redemption, suffering and blessing. It had some of the best and worst years of my life. I finished university, taught in 7 different schools, taught 20 different courses to hundreds of students, and became better for all of it. I traveled to many different places, tried many different things, and developed many new passions. I married, endured a divorce, and was blessed to be remarried. I lived in two different provinces, fell in love wuth many of the creatures that God gave us to share this world with, and grew to love His creations even more. I made many new friends, welcomed close to 20 neices and nephews plus a step family that is as close as "real family" (which they are, real family that is), and said goodbye to my mother and brother. I have been beaten down, rejected, spat upon, and humiliated by both strangers and false friends, but I have endured and improved in spite of all that. I have more importantly been loved, strengthened, blessed, and renewed by many more who have been true and loyal to me. I have my beloved Annie in my life thanks to this decade. I have two stepsons who I see as my own sons. I have an eternal companion who is my lover, my best friend, my reason, my hope, and my one and only true love. I have served faithfully in the church in so many different callings, and I have seen first hand the love of our Father in Heaven and felt the effects of our Saviour's atoning sacrifice. I have ended this decade on my highest note, and am ready for whatever the next the years hold for me.

My Top Ten list is: THe Top Ten Discoveries of 2010!

10. The Big Bang Theory - I do not know what is funnier, how wonderfully written the show is or how much of the humour I get (actually, that last part is a little sad). I know the show has been on for a few years, but I did not find it until this year.

9. New York City - I loved the Bronx Zoo, the Broadway district, Times Square, China town, and the Central Park, but I truly loved the people of the Big Apple. Their reputation for being rude is undeserved, as I would return there in a New York Minute.

8. Kagan Cooperative Learning - Not only did I get to go Orlando and discover #4 on my list there, I was able to learn a new way of teaching that has been ever so enlightening. I hope I will be able to learn even more as the years progress.

7. Beaches. Yes, I have been to beaches before, but never truly enjoyed them as much as when Heather and I went to them during our honeymoon cruise to Bermuda. Just being able to sunbathe, explore the tidal pools, and play in the waves was very relaxing. True, it could have been the location and the person I shared it with, but I have a greater appreciation for beaches now.

6. Muppet Vision 3D - A childhood dream of mine was to be in the Muppet Theatre, and this Christmas I realised that dream. It was one of the last projects worked on by Jim Henson prior to his passing. I had goosebumps from entering and seeing the Pigs in Space ship, and was delighted by the penguin orchestra and the final canon battle between them and the Swedish Chef that destroyed the building. I would love to go again.

5. Hello World - Lady Antebellum, one of my greatest discoveries a couple years ago, released their second album this year, and I fell in love with this song from the beginning. I was absolutely delighted to hear this song on the radio as a single, and loved hearing it in concert in March.


4. Sea World - I went hear twice this year, which was a real treat. Their ability to blend education, entertainment, conservation, discovery, and wonder was a real treat. I would love to live much closer to Orlando so I could go every 6 months, but alas, I will go as often as I am blessed to be able.


3. Phineas and Ferb - Yup, I am hooked on another show. Is it the clever dialogue? Is it the unique and fun characters? Is it the catchy songs? Yes, but most of all, it's the platypus.


2. Okapi - I first saw one at the Bronx Zoo in August, then again at Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World. They are such a beautiful and mysterious creature. It was amazing to learn that they were not discovered until the beginning of the last century. They became one of my favourite animals this year (not enough to replace the platypus, but defintiely top 3)


1. The true happiness found in eternal marriage - What can I say, Heather trumps all. I am so blessed with her laying in bed beside me now. Her growing love for me and all that she does for me amazes me more each and every day. I can only imagine how the next several decades with her beside me will be, but I know they will be better than anything imaginable.