A new year, a new attempt to reach my 1 post/month goal. Good thing I don't blog for a living.
It is interesting how every year we have this idea of making resolutions. I get it. A new year offers a chance to start a new chapter, turn a new leaf, and do things better. Funny thing is that we rarely make these resolutions stick. I think it's because we often go about things in the wrong way. I find it amusing how often I hear on the radio from all these "experts" ideas and strategies on keeping your New Year's Resolutions this time of year. Too bad come February people stop talking about it. I thought for this blog I would not only blog but have my traditional Top 10 List, this time entitled "Top 10 Things to Remember About New Year's Resolutions":
10. You don't have to do it. I honestly cannot remember when I made an official New Year's Resolutions last. That does mean that I don't resolve to make what I think are important changes in my life. I do. What I don't feel is necessary is to only make these resolutions on December 31 and get started on them January 1. I don't think you are any less of a human being for not participating in this tradition.
9. There is no law that says when you have to make these resolutions. Why do they have to come in effect January 1? Why not start on the resolution when the idea comes into your head? Honestly, making resolutions to change behaviour that we may deem to be holding us back should ongoing. Only doing it once a year seems to me that you are setting yourself up for failure. If it was something you truly wanted to do, you would get started on it immediately, not wait until January 1.
8. Failure is an option, but it doesn't have to be final. I get what those who say "Failure is not an option!" are getting at when they explode in your face if you even mention the possibility of not reaching a goal. Nobody wants to fail at anything in life, and if you push yourself to avoid failure, you may be more than likely to reach your goal. I would offer, however, that if we ignore the real risk of failure then we set ourselves up for not being able to deal with it when it comes. It seems to me that being better able to handle setbacks is more important than avoiding failure at all costs. If you fail at your keeping your resolution, so what? Learn from the setback, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Good advice.
7. What's the motive? Why are you making the resolution? If you are doing it because you are part of the crowd, then re-read Point 10, and prepare for Point 8. If you don't have a solid reason for making the resolution, then you are likely not going to care about whether or not you are achieve it. I would also add that "because it's important" is not enough. For example, I have faithfully kept a journal since January 1, 2012 (oh, I guess that is my last official resolution). I have tried keeping journals many times in the past, and yet for the past four years I have been making a written record of every day. What was different? Well, in 2012 I was facing the birth of my first child, and the thought occurred to me that I wanted my children to know me and what my life was like. I knew it was important before 2012, and yet having something tangible to pass onto my children made it important to me. That was the difference. Similarly, when I started going to a gym, I wanted to be healthier so I could have more energy and be there for my kids for longer. Again, the reason was real for me. Nobody can successfully argue that these things are not important, but it's only when the importance is personal that your reason to succeed becomes a powerful driving force.
6. Have a plan. Want to eat better? It's more than just doing it. It involves having a plan. Decide what foods you will avoid, what you will increase in, and how to find your balance. Too often people break their resolutions simply because they had no idea how to be successful. Nobody who has amounted to anything in this world ever got there on a whim and a prayer. Those who fail to plan are only planning to fail.
5. Make the cuts for something better. If you are driving a beat up, gas-guzzling, clunker of a car that costs more on repairs, and you go and buy a brand new car, are you planning on driving both? Chances are you aren't. So if you are trying to fit in something that you know is better for you, may I recommend that you find the room in your life by removing something else. This would be like getting rid of the clunker. I used to do a fair bit of gaming. As I looked at adding new things to enrich my life, I decided to put much of my gaming on the back-burner. Eventually, I wound up spending hardly any time on the online games at all. With this goes the caution to cut out things that do little, if anything, to make you a better person.
4. Fill the void. This is similar to the last point. When you remove something from your life, it leaves a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum, so take control and decide what you will replace it with. If you cut something out and have nothing to replace it, you will find that more often than not you will find the old habit coming back or something equally harmful taking its place.
3. Have someone in the loop. If we are to have the best chances of being successful in our goal setting, it is vital to have someone who knows about the goal and is willing to talk things over with you as you progress towards success. This is what some refer to as an Accountability Partner. I refer to it as having someone who knows what you are trying to do and will occasionally talk to you about it. If it's just you and your inner thoughts, you will likely rationalize away why you are not succeeding. You need someone to bring you to Earth every once in a while.
2. Celebrate the small victories. Made it to the gym 6 times in the first two weeks? Indulge your sweet-tooth just once. Made it the whole month without using a single cuss word? Treat yourself to dinner out. Build on it. You don't need to throw a party for every hour you go without smoking, and the celebration should be appropriate (if you resolved to quit smoking, don't celebrate the first month with a cigar). Eventually, the celebrations stop as the new habit becomes the norm, but recognize the progress you made.
1. Know yourself. This, for me, is the hardest part. It involves being very honest with yourself. It means knowing that when you mess up, and you will mess up now and then, you will react. You can usually figure out how before it happens. This includes identifying what obstacles will be the hardest for you to overcome. This includes knowing your weaknesses. This includes recognizing which goals may be too lofty for you at this time. It means that you are putting thought and effort into making yourself a better person by understanding what kind of person you are. To thine own self be true.
