My Thoughts and Prayers...

So there is something that has been bothering me a while, and I think now is as good of time as any to address it. There has been a few postings on social media of a variation of a meme. It involves the tendency of a person who, when they hear of something bad that has happened, will respond with the phrase "my thoughts and prayers are with you/them...". The meme is usually of the vein that suggests that such a posting is pointless, worthless, and void of any intent to do good. They suggest that because those who post that only post that and go on with their lives, doing nothing else to improve the situation. They mock those of us who pray for others as fools who want to pay lip service when others suffering while bringing attention to how thoughtful we are in our social media postings.

Well, those memes have been bothering me for a while now. Thankfully, these only seem to appear in postings from public groups and not from a lot of people that I know, but they do bother me. For a while, I was having trouble figuring out why they bothered me so. Earlier this week, I figured it out.

They bother me because they are right...

...and they are wrong. 

Let me address the first claim. Yes, too often those of us who say this are guilty of only doing only the token show of concern by expressing that we will think about and pray for those who are suffering, and then go on with our lives. One of the messages that I agree with in these memes is that if we have the capability of doing more than just simply wishing them well, then we should be doing more. If you were hungry, I could say that I will pray that you have enough to eat. Better would be to give you some food so that you are not hungry anymore. If you were on fire and I had a hose, I think you would rather that I use that hose to put out the fire that is currently scorching your skin before I start saying a prayer for you. When there is action that one can provide and we instead just offer our "thoughts and prayers", then we are missing the point of prayers. I do believe in God, and I believe that He will often answer our prayers by enlisting others to help out. 

Here is where I think these guys are wrong. I feel they falsely assume some key things whenever someone posts that. First, they assume that the person is only posting it and doing nothing else. Sorry, but in a world where we are constantly yelling at each other that we shouldn't wrongly judge each other, they have just wrongly judged some of us. Last year during the wildfires that destroyed a significant portion of Fort McMurray, I saw many people say that they were praying for the people who had fled their homes and businesses. I then saw, over the next several weeks, those same people talk about how they donated blood, belongings, or money. Some opened their homes to family and friends who were displaced. Others went and volunteered at fund raisers to help out those who were less fortunate. They did post about "thoughts and prayers", but followed up with actions that helped ease the situation of those they were thinking and praying about. They talked the talk, and then walked the walk.

So why do they post about it on social media? Isn't that drawing attention to themselves?


That is yet another faulty assumption. There are many reasons why people post the things that they are doing on Facebook and tweet about it later. Yes, some of us do it to draw attention to ourselves, but more often than not the goal is far greater. They want to draw attention to the cause that they are championing. They want to encourage others to do the same. Some of us cannot help because we know not where we can pitch in. Several times I have been made aware of something I could do because someone else told me about it. I would argue that more often than not the intent is to say more of "come join me" and less of "hey, look at me".

If there are those who are critical of people "praying" for those in hardships, may I suggest that they are not aware of the power of prayer. Prayer has long been a way for people to seek strength and balance in their lives. I do believe that God does hear us and answers our prayers. I believe that it is a real power, but even if you do not share that belief, there is still a power in prayer. Let us assume that God does not hear or answer prayers, just for the sake of argument. When a person prays repeatedly for something, their mind focuses on it. So let us say that I am praying for the plight of Syrian refugees. As I pray daily for these people, it means that their plight is in the front of my mind. As I go throughout my day, my thoughts are on them. I am, at the very least, subconsciously thinking about them. If something comes across my attention about Syrian refugees, I am more likely to pay attention to it. If an opportunity arises to assist them, then I am more likely to notice it and act on it. Even if there is no God for you, that does not mean that a belief in God and action towards it cannot bring about good things.

Finally, I think the main reason why some of us post that our thoughts and prayers are with our loved ones going through trials, or for complete strangers, it is because there may literally be nothing else that we can do to help them, but at the very least they are letting them know that they are not alone. I know when I have mentioned that I am having some troubles, and someone else responds with "I'm praying for you", then I know that someone out there is rooting for me. I also know that when there is a terrorist attack in some far off country, some of us feel helpless. So we post that our thoughts and prayers are with the people of that country, others will respond in kind, and then I know that I am not the only one trying to make sense of a harsh world.

I know that there is a God. I know that prayer has a power to it that I cannot fully explain, but can confirm that it is a real thing. Others will scoff and scorn that, and so be it. That is their right. Maybe, if you are one that is tired of seeing such nonsense as "my thoughts and prayers are with (insert group/person here), then perhaps you could do us all a favor. Consider that by insulting these people, mocking them, or just yelling at them, you are really no better. As I already mentioned, sometimes the people offering thoughts and prayers are indeed providing shallow lip service, but please consider that many of us are actually doing something good. It may not be how you would do something, but that does not make it bad. Instead of yelling through your device, perhaps you could instead offer an option for these people to do some truly "meaningful" service. Or, if that is not enough, scroll on. Really, think of what you are doing. Taking moments out of your busy life to insult people, thinking that by shaming them will cause them to change their behavior. History shows that such actions rarely achieve anything positive.

And if you still can't stop with your disdain for those of us who share our thoughts and prayers, well, I guess there is only one thing I can do for you.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

I'm Not Supposed to Be Here

The place: Hamburg Germany. The time, the middle of the Second World War. A man, Heinrich Hassforther, was at work in his government office. One of his responsibilities was to process lists of people. Sometimes those lists were suspected enemies of the Nazi state. Reasons for being on this list are many. It may have been hiding a Jewish family, or even befriending one. It might have been for listening to the BBC on the radio. If you had said something that could be considered anything less than full devotion to the Fuhrer, your neighbors could report you and you could find yourself on this list. Again and again the lists would come across Heinrich's desk. He would drink his coffee, read the names on the list, and forward it to the appropriate department in the government. Heinrich was a man of simple pleasures. He was not a fan of the Nazi regime and what it stood for. He had no personal issues with many people, but he did not see himself as someone influential enough to cause any great amount of change. His first wife, Margarethe, had died weeks before the war had started. His eldest son, Walter, had been conscripted into the army. He was sent to the Russian front, where at the age of 20 he was killed by a sniper as he relieved his lookout man in the tank he was assigned to. This would turn out to be a blessing as most soldiers in that tank division died a more drawn out and excruciating death due to exposure and starvation. Heinrich felt sad for the loss of his son in a war he did not believe in, but he was a common man with a common job and couldn't do anything to prevent Walter from serving in the army. His second child, Annmarie, was married to Heinz Beckmann. At least Heinz had enlisted in the merchant marines before the war started, so the chances of him dying in combat were low. Annmarie, being younger and more idealistic, was doing some small things to stand against the hatred that had engulfed their country. She had organized some of her neighbors in knitting mittens, scarfs, and other items of clothing, and then in the dead of night would sneak them into the outdoor pens where the Russian POWs were being held. The fact that his daughter was trying to keep the same people who were responsible for her brother's death from freezing during the cold winter nights was not lost on Heinrich.

One particular morning Heinrich came to his desk and proceeded to go through the papers in his pile. Page after page, name after name, he read. He would take a sip from his coffee every time that he felt his attention start to wander. Another sheet, another list of names. Once in a while a name would show up that appeared to be familiar. Most of the time he would not be able to identify the familiarity he felt. Was it an old school friend? The name of the son of his neighbor three doors down from his? The baker that he bought bread from for several years before they had moved? Not everyone on these lists would disappear. At least, Heinrich believed such to be true, but he knew full well that many of them did. What happened to those who did disappear was always up to speculation. Some were rumored to have been quietly disposed of on the outskirts of town. Others felt that they were sent to some of the work camps that the Jews and other undesirables were sent to. Some, he suspected, would catch wind of the SS coming for them and escaped into the countryside. A few would even claim that those who disappeared were simply relocated to another town where their skills could better serve the war movement. Still, there were those who would...

Heinrich stopped, and reread the last two names he had come across on the sheet of paper in his hand.

"Beckmann, Annmarie...Beckmann, Heinz".

Heinrich stared at the names. His daughter. Her husband. Their names seemed to shine out to him despite being typed in the same font as countless others had been. Heinrich looked around to see if any of his co-workers or superiors were watching him. He looked at the names again, and checked the address in a vain hope that another couple with the exact same names living in a different part of the country had been put on this list. With sadness he verified that they were indeed the names of his daughter and son-in-law. He looked at the paper with a concern that seemed to envelop him. He had a job to do, and doing that job had kept him unnoticed by those who were compiling these lists. He wondered if anyone knew that he was the father of this young woman. The idea that this was somehow a test of his loyalty, that someone was watching to see if he would choose country over kin. He looked around again. No one seemed to be paying him any attention. He set the piece of paper down on his desk, and lifted his coffee cup to his lips.

He hesitated. An idea began to form within his desperation. He looked down at the black liquid and saw a glimmer of hope. It would be easy to make this look like an accident. He was known for being accurate and rarely made an error in his work. Was he not owed one little slip up every now and then? It would not be too out of character of him, for everyone loses their focus once in a while. An egg gets dropped while baking, a toe gets stubbed while walking, a list of names gets ruined with a coffee spill...

Deciding on his course of action, Heinrich lowered the cup onto the desk, He set the paper with the names of his daughter and her husband beside it. Then, as normal looking as possible, he reached across his desk and bumped his arm against the cup, knocking it over. Its contents covered the corner of his desk, including the list of names that contained his future. Uttering a few cuss words, he swept the soggy papers into the trash bin nest to his desk, fetched some rags, and cleaned up the rest of the mess. The entire internal dilemma seemed to last an eternity for Heinrich, when in reality it had taken perhaps a full minute. Still, Heinrich had to still himself and calm himself down. He looked around again. Nobody seemed to have noticed the entire ordeal. Everyone had their faces down towards the report they were working on or the assignment they had been given. Heinrich took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and willed his nerves to calm down. With a deep breath, he opened his eyes, took the next sheet of paper and began to read through the names.

It was a significant amount of time before Heinrich felt that the worst was behind him. Never again did the names "Annmarie and Heinz Beckmann" appear on his lists. He made sure to tell them to be extra careful with their activities and with what they said in public. It wasn't until after the war that he told his daughter what had happened. By that time, Heinz and Annmarie had their two children born, a daughter named Barbara and a son named Michel. As Germany rebuilt itself out of the ashes of war and tyranny, many of its citizens looked across the ocean for a new start. For Heinz and Annmarie, Canada called out to them. They emigrated to Canada in 1954, to Toronto. Barbara would meet a nice young man named Charles while she attended university. When she had finished her education degree, they married. She taught a few years in Toronto while Charles finished some grad studies, and they moved west to Alberta. After a couple of miscarriages, they were blessed to welcome a little girl into their lives. a couple of years later they waited for their next child to be born.

On a day in late June, in Edmonton, Alberta, a small baby boy was born to Charles and Barbara. Unlike their experience with their daughter, some serious complications arose. Barbara's health was shattered due in some part to negligence of the hospital staff. In addition to that, the baby boy was struggling with his own health issues. The doctors told Charles and Barbara to give the baby a name quickly, for it was looking like he would not survive for long. Barbara would not accept the doctor's diagnosis. She stayed up as late as she was physically able to, feeding her son as much as he would take. When she became so exhausted, her loving husband would take over so she could catch a few moments of sleep. As soon as she was awake again, she took the little boy back into her arms and continued to care for him. While the baby's health eventually recovered, her health did not. She was saddened to learn that she would never be able to conceive anymore children. She never complained about any of this, as she wanted to make sure that her son was raised properly. She did not see the cost to her health to be a great sacrifice when compared to the life of her son.

Now those of you that know me quite well may have figured out the connection between these two stories and the title of this post. For those of you that are still wondering, let me tell you.

I'm not supposed to be here.

I will confess that some of the details are my own interpretation and imaginings of the events that happened to my great-grandfather, Heinrich. What we do know is that he did work in a government office, he did process the names of those who were suspected enemies of the state, and he did make a list disappear when he found the names of his daughter and son-in-law on it. I am not sure when it happened. I think it was after his son Walter had died (that part of the story is as true as I know it to be), although it could have happened before. I do not know with any certainty what thoughts went through his head, nor exactly how he destroyed the list. I do not know for certain what would have happened to Heinz and Annmarie Beckmann had Heinrich processed the list with their names on it like he should have done. The vast majority of those people were never heard from again, so I can make a safe assumption that they likely would not have had their two children. This means that Barbara Beckmann, my mother, would not have been born. This means that I would not have been born to Charles and Barbara Andrews.

That's one reason why I am not supposed to be here.

The other has to do with my own birth. Yup, the baby boy was me. These details I am more certain of, as both of my parents have shared them with me on several occasions. I was not given all the details at once, and as I have aged I have been told more (a few details I have left out for my own reasons). Suffice it to say, the medical professionals had pleaded with my mother to focus on her own health, as  my life was likely not going to be a long one. For people who knew my mother, they would not be surprised at her stubbornness. I do not know for certain if I would have lived or not had my mother not tried to do everything she could to keep me alive, but my odds were not good.

The second reason why I am not supposed to be here.

There are likely a thousand more reasons as to why I should not be here. A choice made by an ancestor, a mistake averted by a stranger. I think of the only car accident I have been involved in which had I been traveling a little faster would have ended up more on the tragic side than it did. I think of narrowly avoiding being trampled by a rather large and panicky cow when I was 13. I think of a choice I almost made as a teenager that would have ended my life much sooner than expected, and how grateful I am to have chosen differently. Some may suggest that I am exaggerating the events I described to imbue some sort of glorious purpose of my existence. So be it. Think what you will, but know this: I share these stories for a few reasons.

First, to provide a record of these events for my children and future grandchildren (fingers crossed). Second, to share a part of who I am with those who are interested. And third, to share a message. These two stories are connected by lineage, but I see another thread that needs to addressed. Too often we face choices in our lives that, while important to us in the here and now, can have an impact on the future that is harder to envision. My great grandfather could have been caught in his small act of defiance, but he chose to act in that manner anyways. My mother could have been excused for giving up on the seemingly lost cause of her sickly infant, but she chose to act in the manner that she did anyways. I do not know if my great grandfather knows of the good he did by allowing my grandparents to have a family. I do not know if my mother realizes the number of lives I have touched for good because of her sacrifice in giving me life. I do not know fully how I impact my student who is struggling against depression, my family member who has fallen on hard times and is receiving assistance from me, or if the time I took to brighten a complete stranger's day with an act of kindness will lead to some wonderful in that person's life. What I do know is that the chances that wonderful things will develop from the good things I try to do each day will be zero if I do nothing. I may not save the soul if I try, but I know I won't save it if I walk on by and do nothing. I never met my great grandfather, but he is a hero to me. My mother has been gone for over 15 years, and she is a hero to me. There are so many who have touched my life in ways that they may never know or understand who are heroes to me.

If I have been such a person to you, then take a moment to silently thank Heinrich Herman Hassforther and Barbara Magdalena Andrews for their parts in making me who I am today. Are you looking for a miracle? Have I blessed your life in any significant way? Have I done anything that has made your life brighter and happier? If I have, then you have your miracle, because as I stated before, I'm not supposed to be here.

Refusing to Learn

It was an election like none other. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were the two least popular individuals to compete for the White House and the seat of President of the United States of America. Both main parties put forward a candidate that was heavily flawed, mired in corruption and scandal, and the rest of the world looked on and wondered if the USA had gone insane. Accusations of rigged elections, voter suppression and intimidation, and sins decades past were paraded across the stage. In the end, when the dust settled, Donald Trump defied the odds and became the 45^th elected President of the United States. In my own personal opinion, never has a man so unqualified reached such a lofty height. Despite my disappointment, this was a fair and democratic election, and though I wish the outcome had been different (I was hoping for independent candidate Evan McMullin to pull out the ultimate miracle), it is done and in the history books.

More than any other election, 2016 will go down as the election with the most fear-mongering known in modern US history. Not since the Civil Rights movement have racial tensions been so high. Both sides of the election seemed to bring out the worst in people, but I would have to say that on the Republican side we saw the worst of the worse. Trump and his most ardent supporters mocked, persecuted, and insulted a wide variety of groups. From women and sexual assault victims, to Muslims, Jews, and Mormons, to Mexicans and even the disabled, Trump spoke his mind, which led to others speaking their minds. As a result of last night’s election, many people in America felt something they had never felt before on election night: fear. It is that fear that I wish to address in this post. It is something I can relate to, though not necessarily to the extent that others are feeling right now.

As a result of last night's election, many people felt something they have never felt before on election night: fear.

As many of you reading this know (or maybe don’t know, as who knows how far this will go), I am a teacher by profession. Like many of my colleagues, I develop an attitude of care and concern for the well-being of my students. I often refer to my students as “my kids”, which started before my own children came into my life. I acknowledge that for many teenagers these days there is a lot of high idealistic hopes that have yet to be tempered with life experience. This can lead to many of my students developing concerns that too many adults brush aside as being the exaggerations and anxieties of youth. I am not one of those. It was not too long ago that I was a teenager or a university student (OK, it was a long time ago, almost half of my life ago, but I still remember it), so I understand how these feelings can affect a person. They affect all of us to different extents. Some of us adults have just become very adept at killing those feelings, leaving them a bit emotionally muted on the inside. In other words, we all deal with those same feelings in different ways. It was the concerns of a former student expressed on social media that has prompted all of this, and for that I am thankful to her.

One group that is feeling very concerned are Muslim Americans. This is the religion of my former student. She shared an article about how Muslim-American women were now afraid to wear their hijab in public for fear of their safety. It was heartbreaking. To use intimidation to cause a person to feel that they cannot worship God as they wish is simply wrong. I gave an encouraging message about being extra vigilant to stand against prejudice and intolerance. She then asked a poignant question.

“How do you educate those who block it out though? Who refuse to learn?”

How do you educate those who block it out?

A very good question indeed.

I gave a slightly longer reply, but the wheels in my head just kept turning. It was one of the moments for me when I just had to get typing and put these thoughts to words on paper…er, screen, I guess.

First off, if you are one who is thinking of typing up some sort of response or comeback, claiming that my student is acting the victim, or that people who are fearful should grow a pair and accept the results, stop whining, move back to wherever they came from, get over it, cry you a river, I have a simple two word request for you: stop it. There is a time and a place for that sort of thing, and this is neither. If you can’t handle that, then stop reading this now, because you may not like what is to come. By not being able bite your tongue with a smarmy comeback to people who are legitimately hurting I am not sure you are presently in a frame of mind to responsibly and maturely have a dialogue with me. If you cannot respond with any sense of compassion in this, then I ask you not to respond at all. Chances are you do not know what it is like to wake up fearful of the world you live in, and for that you should be grateful. If you think you have and are still thinking such thoughts, then perhaps your experience pales in comparison to what millions of people are feeling right now. And if you still think you have a right to tell these buttercups to suck it up, then chalk it up to a middle-aged bald guy who has an understanding of waking up each morning afraid of how the world is going to treat you. Maybe in your eyes I haven’t yet fully healed from that myself. If you think I am pandering to “victims”, well, you have that right, I suppose. Just understand that in this forum I will exercise my right to delete your boorish and insensitive comments. If you have a problem with that, then I suggest you grow a pair and accept the results, or just suck it up, Buttercup.

My response is not only to those of the Muslim faith that feel threatened by this development. It is to anyone who feels that with these election results that America has rejected them. It is for those of us who were on the “winning side”. For those of us who were looking in and wondering “what the heck is happening?” and were shaking our heads, trying to wake up from a trip to Bizarreland.

Most of all, this is for RJ.

How do we respond to those who refuse to learn? How do we deal with those who seem to be intent on hanging on to their misconceptions and fears? How do we get through to those who are so wrapped up in their comfortable misgivings towards those who look, believe, feel, or act differently? More importantly, how do we move forward when others try to stop us from doing so?

I do not claim to be the smartest, wisest, or most knowledgeable man to have walked the Earth, but here it goes. This what we must do with such people.

First, be firm. Hatred of this nature brings nothing that is good. When confronted with such hatred, we must be firm in our resolve to stand against it. We must make the stand whenever we encounter it. We may be standing beside someone else, in a group, or even standing alone, but we must stand. We must make sure that at the very least while we are present we will not accept that hatred of this kind has a place.

When confronted with such hatred, we must be firm in our resolve to stand against it.

Second, be brave. Making stands such as this will seldom be a matter of convenience and will often require great courage. Know that each time you stand makes you stronger for the next time.

Third, respond with love. This is hard, believe me. When a person will not see you for who you really are, it is easy to return hate for hate. That is the road that these individuals know all too well, and it likely has made them miserable. If nothing else, you have taken the high road. In all of the religions I have studied I have found a common thread that God, however you view Him, loves us all as His children. I have found that the best way to show love to others is to do good to them. Serve them. In my church we have a story of a goodly king named Benjamin who taught that when we are in the service of our fellow man we are in the service of our God. One of my favorite lines from the Quran says to compete with each other in doing good. So when these people refuse to accept that Muslims or whatever group you belong to are good, then prove them wrong with your love and actions.

Prove them wrong with your love and actions.

Fourth, forgive them. Regardless of what you believe in, forgiveness is essential for a happy life. Whether or not you think it is a commandment from God, forgiveness helps heal your soul. Something that may help in this is understanding why this person feels the way they do. Some have been raised with this mistrust because of the traditions of their parents. Others have had difficult experiences when younger that have left a sad scar upon their souls that has had trouble healing over the years. Many seem to find comfort wrapping themselves up in their fears of that which is foreign to them. It seems illogical, but it is nonetheless real. When you know where they have come from and understand a little of their journey, you will find that forgiveness and compassion towards them will grow within you. They will feel that from you as well. This is one of the most effective tools at breaking down those walls that they have erected around their souls.

Forgiveness helps heal your soul.

Fifth, recognize your own refusals to learn. One thing made clear to me in this election is that people are fed up. They are fed up with racism, prejudice, corruption, and intolerance. Understand that this is felt by both those who voted for Trump and by those who voted for Clinton. You see, we all have misconceptions of others. It is easy to point out those to others, but it is another to see them within ourselves. As we work on ourselves, we open our eyes to better understand where this comes from. We must try to make ourselves better, often in spite of those who rage against us.

As we work on ourselves, we open our eyes to better understand 

Finally, accept some truths. One truth is that not everyone will accept you. Their journey to understanding is just too hard, or they are too unwilling, or unable, or just enjoy being a jerk too much to learn. Leave them be. If you have done the other things, then you are a better person for it. Accept that you cannot change Trump and his most deplorable supporters. Accept that some people will be rotten to the core for the rest of their miserable lives and will always hate you for who you are. That is the truth. I asked my four-year old daughter how to deal with people who are mean to you. She said “tell them to stop, and if they don’t stop, just keep trying”. Wise words, but they are colored by the beautiful naivety of innocent youth. At some point, you wash your hands of these people and move on. If they cannot see your worth and beauty, then they deserve to share in none of it. Your life is more important. When it comes to anti-Muslim sentiments, I have made the stand that cost me some friendships. Yes, it hurt. That is life, and sometimes life hurts. I will not sacrifice what I know to be right just to hang on to a relationship with someone who attacks others out of hatred or ignorance. If they will not let go of their hatred, then sometimes we have to let go of them.

If they will not let go of their hatred, then sometimes we have to let go of them.

One last truth to accept. You are not alone. In the Bible, the prophet Elisha was speaking with a servant of the King as an enemy army encircled their city. The servant lamented that the enemy was so large in number. Elisha told the servant to “fear not, for they that be with us are more than they that be with them”. Elisha then prayed to God and asked Him to open the eyes of the servant, who then saw a heavenly army with chariots of fire were surrounding the enemy in far greater numbers. Again, regardless of what you believe, know that there are far greater numbers of people that stand with you on this. In regards to this election, while I understand that it can be an interpretation of rejection by a whole nation, do not forget that even though she lost the election, Clinton won the most votes. Add to that all those who voted third party, far more people rejected Trump’s hateful rhetoric. I even believe that a significant number if not a majority of those who voted for Trump do not share those beliefs. Those who refuse to learn are in the minority, and while being in the majority does not instantly mean that you are right in all things, I like to think that in this case it does. If nothing else, know that I stand with you. Even if I’m not physically standing beside you, I stand with you.

So, in short, stick to your guns, be brave, be patient and forgiving, love beats hate, some fools never learn, and you are not alone in this. Hmmm, maybe I should have just said that. Ah, well. Sometimes I just like to hear myself type. 

A Letter to My Former Students

For the past 13 years I have had the privilege of teaching some outstanding young men and women. I have taught them the wonders of the world around them, from the cellular processes to the creation of a human child, from simple motion vectors to the complex chemical reactions that make life possible. In church I have been teaching you about the ways of God, of Christ, and how to become a righteous child of God. In addition to the curriculum of the given subject, it has also been my goal to teach you how to be a good person, to be resilient in life's challenges, to laugh and love with enthusiasm, to value life and support each other and those around you when life becomes difficult. Please know that while many of your names may fade from my immediate recollection over time (I've literally had over a thousand of you sit in my room), when I see your familiar faces it brings me great joy to know how you are doing and what adventure you are on. Many of you have connected with me on a personal level that has brought me much strength. I have stood by some of you as you have faced great struggles and challenges, and unbeknownst to many of you, I have received strength in facing my own challenges. A few of you have said that you see me as a father figure. That means a lot to me.

So let me be a bit of a father figure right now, especially to young men that have sat in my classroom. This is a life lesson that you need to hear right now. It came to my attention yesterday that there is a group of men on the internet that refer to themselves as "The Return of Kings". I suspect you may already know who these guys are and what they represent. If you don't, please allow me to enlighten you. They are disgusting misogynistic men who have an insane notion that rape in the privacy of one's home should be legal. They have a misguided image of what a real man is. It is an image of male superiority that didn't belong in the Dark Ages, let alone the 21st Century. They have a perverted view of what a "real man" should be. To think that such a group exists today is saddening. I was especially alarmed to learn that the founder of this group is planning public meetings across North America, especially in Vancouver, Toronto, Edmonton, Victoria, Ottawa, Winnipeg, Surrey, Windsor, and here in Calgary.

Now, to the young men who sat in a desk in my classroom. You may or may not have enjoyed your time in my class, you may or may not remember anything I ever said or taught, but I hope you remember what I am about to say. Any "man" who associates with this group associates not with men but with cowards. These are not men. They are more akin to cockroaches who swarm in the cover of darkness, only to scurry for the shadows when the light of truth and good is shone upon them. I am shining a light on them now. I know I should show love to all my fellow human beings, but this group is making it difficult for me. Do you know who has been my biggest sources of strength in my life? My mother. My father. My big sister. My wife. My stepmother. My two daughters. My two sons. Nine people in that list, and RoK would argue that two thirds of them are beneath me, that they are less than me, that I should "dominate" them simply because I was born with a Y chromosome and they were not. What utter trash. They would take the souls of these saintly women in my life and demean them. I then look at all of my students, past and present. These are my "kids". I love and pray for my kids daily. This vile group would say that one half of my kids should be able to rape the other half whenever they want. To think that a woman or girl is little more than property or a pet is sickening. To the young men, so many of which have shown me that you get this point I'm making, I ask you to not just stay away from associating with this group, but actively counteract it's putrid message. Treat the women in your life with respect, dignity, care, and compassion. Do not demand that the women in your life bow to your every want and whim. When you see a "man" berate a woman, abuse a woman, or disrespect a woman, I want you stand beside that woman and be there for her. Don't do this because only a man can save a woman, because that is not true. Don't do it because it is our "job" to protect women, because it's not and they are capable of protecting themselves. Do it because it is the right thing to do. You don't have to be like a knight in shining armor riding to their rescue, just be a decent human being who will not stand for this revolting refuse.

To the young women I was teacher to, now it's your turn. Never accept less than full respect from the men in your life. If your boyfriend hits you, he is not showing love. If he tears you down in private or public, he is not showing love. If he acts in anyway that is less than a proper gentleman, be wary. I have not met a single person, woman or man, who deserves to be treated like trash by someone who supposedly loves them. Dump the jerk. You deserve better than that. If you see a friend or sister who is in such a circumstance, be there for them. Pass this message from me along to them: send that scumbag packing. I have seen too many of my kids get hurt by someone who was supposed to love them. These guys think that they are entitled to that which is most precious to you: your virtue. If the man in your life subscribes to the opinions of this group, he needs to be out of your life immediately if not sooner. If that man is your boyfriend, break up with him now. If a man asks you out and he starts to expect that which he is not entitled to from you, tell him "It's not me, it's you" and get rid of him.

My former students, my "kids", I beg of you, avoid this group of so-called returned Kings like you would a plague. Stand up to their disgusting ideals. You will find that these pigs (oops, my apologies to members of the porcine species) may be Kings, but their kingdom is a garbage heap and a mess located in the bowels of disgrace and inhumanity. You are above this. I am calling on you. I encourage you to tolerate diverse ideas and opinions and beliefs. This time, I am saying to not tolerate this one. There is no good in it. I love you all.

Stirring the Pot or Making a Stand

So a few weeks ago I noticed a bit of a trend with articles friends of mine were posting. You see, here in Canada we are less than a week away from the federal election, and more than any other time in history I have found emotions to be running high. One of the main issues that is pushing its way to the front is the idea of national security, but this has de-evolved into a very focused concern with ISIS and radicalised Islamic terrorism. Because there are a lot of legitimately scared people out there, anti-Muslim rhetoric is seeping into what a lot of people are posting. Suffice it to say, I felt prompted to say something about it on Facebook. Here is what I posted on September 23.

OK, I need to get something off of my chest. I apologize for the length of the following status update. I know that many will see the length of this and scroll down to something more entertaining and easier to absorb, and so be it. This is not one of those manipulative “If you really care about X you will like and share” postings, but I do ask you to give this a read because I feel it is an important message that is not being heard enough these days. I thank all of you in advance who will bear with me and read the whole thing, and I understand why some of you won’t.

I have seen a lot of posts these last several weeks on the growing crisis in the Middle East and Europe with respect to refugees. In many of these posts, I am seeing a disturbing trend in these articles that makes me wonder if some of my friends are actually fully reading these articles before sharing them. These articles are reporting on terrible things some of these refugees are doing in Europe. There are implications that some of the refugees being ISIS members who are using this tragedy to infiltrate western countries and continue their war from within (I point out that the articles range in numbers from a few to the majority). There is rampant speculation and mistrust towards Muslims in these articles, and this is what worries me the most. In these articles they talk about the threat that Muslims pose. Note, these articles are not saying "radical Muslims", "extremist Muslims", are even "some Muslims". They say Muslims, as if all Muslims threaten our lives and culture.

To my friends that have fallen into this trap of scaremongering (either unknowingly or willfully), I ask you to consider my perspective. I prefer not to say that I have Muslim friends, because I simply see them as friends. I hate saying I teach Muslim students, because they are simply my students. I don't like saying that I have "Muslim neighbours" because to me, they are my neighbours. However, since many people are talking about Muslims in general terms, then I will speak on behalf of my friends, students, and neighbours who happen to be of the Muslim faith. What I have to say is STOP LUMPING THEM INTO THE SAME GROUP AS THOSE WHO ARE SPREADING TERROR! These are people that I love and respect, because, big surprise, they love and respect me. Many of them have moved to this country to find a better way of life and have sacrificed much to adapt to this country and its culture. They are good, honest people who simply want to live their life and practice their religion in peace. Yes, there are Muslims who try to impose their values and views on others, but that is true of EVERY GROUP, whether it be cultural, religious, or other. They do not deserve to be told to "change the way you dress, the way you speak, etc. or get out of our country". They do not deserve it! Besides, as North Americans, who are we, all immigrants in our own right, to make such a demand when the indigenous peoples of this land were subjugated to our way of life in what was often a brutal and violent manner?

To my friends, I ask you to be careful of what you are posting. When you share articles that discriminate against Muslims, you are participating in the discrimination of people that I care about, and this puts me on the defensive. You are hating my brothers and sisters. You are hating my friends and co-workers. You are hating my students, who I see as my kids. I look at the history of my own church and the rampant mistrust and discrimination that was used against its early members, and ask why should I do the same to another group? I do not forget that in the early days of my church, Mormons were chased from their homes, their leaders beaten and murdered, false charges brought up against its membership, told that they do not belong, to stop imposing their values on others and be like everyone else or be forced to leave. I will not forget that in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave there was an extermination order issued against the members of my church in the state of Missouri. Because I do not forget about this, I will not stand silent when another group of people are facing lies, prejudices, and fear tactics to turn popular opinion against them. Stop feeding the fear. If you really want to stand against those who are inflicting terror against the world (ISIS, Boko Haram, and other extremist groups), then you will stop generalizing that all Muslims are the same. You might as well say that all Christians are like the KKK, or all Vietnamese are like the Viet Cong, or all Russians are commies, or all those who vote conservative are racist intolerant bigots. They aren’t. Please note that when you share a story that says “Are you worried about what Muslims are doing to your country?” or “Muslims will not assimilate into our culture” you are, in fact, implying that you believe that all Muslims are doing this. I hate to break it to you so bluntly, but if that is how you truly feel about Muslims, you are one word: WRONG.

I want you to know that if you are sharing these lies to make a stand for what you believe is “right”, then, my dear friend (and I am sincere with that label), I do not stand with you. I still love you and will call you friend, but on this I stand with the good Muslim people of my community who go to work, try to live their beliefs to the best of their abilities, and every day go about their business. I am not standing with the terrorists. I am not standing with those who are committing despicable acts. I am standing with the people who are being falsely and unjustly painted with the same brush as a terrorist. I am standing with the people I know. I am standing with my Muslim students who give me Christmas presents every year for being their teacher. I am standing with my Muslim friend who came to the open house of my church’s temple in Calgary three years ago. I am standing with my Muslim neighbours who give to the food drive I help organize each year. I am standing with those who would stand with me when people accuse me of being things that I am not because of my religion. You are free to think that I am naïve, or foolish, or a bleeding heart. You might dismiss this as a rambling that is misguided. You may think “When those Muslims hurt someone he loves he will get no sympathy from me because I told him to not trust them”, and I get it. Again, if that is how you think of me, know that you are mistaken. Some of you will likely read this and continue posting and sharing the hate. I can’t stop you. But maybe, just maybe, what I am saying is causing you to rethink a few things. Just maybe this lengthy read might stir inside of you something will cause you to see a woman in a hijab in a different light. Maybe you will delete the articles you have shared from your timeline, and just maybe, you will see my friends, students, and neighbours as I see them. They are children of God, just like you and me. We are brothers and sisters. If we want to stand against the terrorists, then we should embrace the Muslim members of our communities, get to know them, and befriend them more. For those that have endured to the end of this, I thank you.

So there it is. Likely the longest Facebook status update I have ever posted. The overwhelming response has been positive, with most people agreeing with what I said. There were even some that had been sharing some of these worrisome articles that responded in a good manner, agreeing with the gist of what I was saying. I don't know how many people changed their viewpoints on the topic, but many felt that what I had said was something that needed to be said. 

There were a few that were... shall we say, a bit offended at my stand. So be it. It was argued that what I said was divisive. Maybe so, but only to the point where I separated those who understand the fallacy of judging an entire group of people based on the actions of a few and those who cannot or will not let go of their fears or prejudices. More than that, I said what needed to be said. Since that time I have learned that there is a gradual turning around on this subject. More people are becoming aware of the anti-Muslim sentiments and are making their own stands against it. More are realizing the true divisiveness in this issue, and are coming together instead. That gives me hope. As I said in my earlier post, I cannot stand with those who will judge an entire community based on the actions of a few. I have been the victim of that in the past, and I know the harm it causes first hand. I will continue to hope that things will improve. For those who have caused me offence in this experience, I wish them well and forgive them, but I cannot trust them until I see true signs of change. For those I have offended, I hope they will find it in their hearts to forgive myself and others, but there is little I can do to force the issue. I will continue to stand against the evils in the world, whether it be ISIS or the intolerance of those around me. Some may accuse me of being prideful, arrogant, or self-righteous for what I have said. I suspect that they feel this way in order to suppress the twinge they felt in their conscience that suggests that I hit a bit too close to home in them. In the end, a conversation I had with a trusted friend and colleague brought out a great thought. I would rather be accused of loving too freely than to be accused of hating too easily.

My Top Ten List is a list of Ten Things I learned through this experience:

10. We all have valid reasons for believing what do. Even though I disagreed with the anger of one friend, I understood where it came from and accept it.

9. The dangers of "Black and White" thinking. First, there are things in this world that are right, and things that are wrong. Abusing a child is wrong. Rape is wrong. Comforting a crying child is right. Forgiving others is right. Having said that, there is a risk involved with seeing everything as Black or White, Right or Wrong, with no middle ground or spectrum. The danger is not being able to see the beauty in all the colour that is in the world. 

8. Making a stand can be divisive. At least, that was one thing I was accused of. I didn't think so, but maybe there is some truth to it. It separated those that will see people for who they truly are from those that will judge and hate an entire group based on the actions of a few.

7. Making a stand can be unifying. So often we worry about the differences we have with others. So often we get caught up over how we disagree with who someone else votes for, or whether or not we see eye-to-eye with someone on all things. When a stand is made on solid moral ground, we see others of all walks come together to stand with you. Of that I am thankful.

6. What's done is done, what's said is said. You may not have liked the outcome to your fullest liking, but you can't undo that which you have done. Accept it and move on.

5. It is hard to let go (but should still be encouraged). Some people have deep-seeded reasons for how they feel, for better or for worse. We cannot expect others to let go immediately of their fears or prejudices, but that doesn't mean that we stop encouraging them.

4. Spring cleaning can be done at any time. We need to periodically do an inventory of our life and start getting rid of things that bring us down. That can include relationships. If nothing else, this event helped me remove some negative influences in my life.

3. Standing alone often speaks for the many. One of the main comments I received over and over was the idea that what I had the courage to say was a message that many were hoping would be said. When we take that first step to speak out, we may initially feel that we will be alone on this matter. What ends up happening is that we find we are surrounded by many who agree with us standing by us. 

2. Standing for what is right has a cost, but that shouldn't make the stand any less right. Seldom is this type of stand easy to make. Seldom is it popular. Many instances in history show that making a stand for what is right will lead to a cost. This time around, it likely cost me some respect and friendship in the eyes of a few. I said some hard things, that is true. I felt compelled to say them, and I do not regret what I did for a moment. 

1. Take courage. I debated what I was going to write for quite a while. I wrote and edited the original post several times before it was something I felt good about posting. Some suggested that maybe I should not have posted it at all if it made even one person upset. I just couldn't. For too long those thoughts had rolled around in my brain. For too long I had seen people that, for the most part, were sharing ideas that I felt were hidden and not truly their own. It took courage to post what I did. It was the right thing to do. I sense many people were positively affected by this. It brings me peace to know that good has come of this.

Five Years Down, Eternity to Go

The last couple of days have been rough for me. Friday night Heather wanted some Chinese food, so I went on a quest. I went to Market Mall where I knew I could get some small servings. While the food tasted good, I was hit with bad stomach pains in the middle of the night from it. I think it was food poisoning, and today (Sunday) I am still feeling the after effects of it. I really hope that I will be over it today, because tomorrow is a very special day for me. Tomorrow is July 27, and five years ago tomorrow I married my beautiful Dandaloo. A lot has happened in those past five years, and most of it has been beyond good. I hope that the next five years will continue that tradition.

As I look back at these last five years, I am amazed as to how happy I am. I believe that I was happy in my previous marriage (except for the end, of course), but it pales in comparison. Heather has done so much for me. I feel so greatly blessed with having her in my life. She has given me so much genuine love that has produced two darling little girls. She has understood me better than almost any other person I have known. She treats me with respect, love, and devotion. She is so patient with me and accepts me as who I am. Most importantly, she will talk to me about her worries and problems, and listens to mine. She loves to laugh, is not ashamed to cry, and is as devoted to her family as any I know. Together we have faced trials and received blessings. We have walked the streets of New York City, had fun at theme parks in Orlando, been to about ten different temples, and lay on the beaches of Bermuda. We have celebrated each others successes and stood beside each other through the hardships. Each of us have seen the other through surgeries. We have done the best we could with our children and the unique situation of having two wee ones and two adult kids, and our home is a happy one.

As I look back on the last five years, I am grateful to know that our marriage will last into the eternities. I love that we made the decision to marry in the temple where eternal marriages are made. I look forward to not only the many years that are to come, but to what comes beyond this life. There is only one person with whom I would want to have by my side for the rest of forever.

Top 10 Things I Look Forward to in the Next 5 Years of Marriage

10. Vegas Convention - We are debating next summer, but hopefully once in the next few years.

9. School for the Girls - Barbara starts kindergarten in two years, Hope in 4. Wow.

8. Five more anniversary dinners. This year, we are going to try the Bear's Den. 

7. More Temple Trips - This past week we performed 50 sealings. It was wonderful.

6. More Trips - in 2018 we are thinking of a Disney Christmas. We are saving Air Miles for park passes and Avion points for plane tickets.

5. Weird Al in Concert - This happens in September (how lucky am I to have a wife who will go to a Weird Al concert with me?!)

4. More Dates - Now that the girls are older, we are going to be going on more dates. Looking forward to trying new things.

3. Hope Talking - She has started walking, and gets a few words in, but I look forward to what she has to say about things.

2. Barbara's baptism - She's 3 now. She'll be 8 in 5 years. Again, wow.

1. Waking Up Each Day - Because I get to wake up to an angel.

Happiest Birthday

Well, it's 5:45 on the first day of my last year of my 30s. As usual, I can't sleep in, so I thought I would write a quick blog update.

Barbara had a great birthday yesterday. We had breakfast at McDonalds, then I went to work. Coming home we had dinner, went to the temple where we ate cupcakes on the grounds (I think the temple is one of Barbara's favorite places to go), and then opened presents. She loved it but did not want to go to bed.

Today is grad day. I will be saying goodbye to a good group of kids. There are a more than a few have impacted my life in special ways, and like each year I will moss them. This morning I was thinking about birthdays. The question often is asked "Which was your favorite birthday?". While birthdays with Heather and the girls are always great, and birthdays as a kid growing up with my family are up there, there is one birthday that just edges them all out. That happened in 2008.

It was my last few days in Thunderchild. It was also the day of graduation. I had been alone (except for Annie) for just over two months. My first wife was long gone and reality was sinking in. So there I was, at the lowest point in my life, wondering what to do for my birthday when I really didn't want to move forward with anything. I was not in the mood to celebrate anything, let alone getting older, so I decided I would not celebrate.

I woke up and made breakfast. My dad called to wish me a happy birthday and that was the only phone call I received that day. I let the machine get all the other calls. I kept the computer off so I would not read any emails or Facebook posts that might be birthday related. I went to the school and started asking people what they needed help with. One of the teachers asked if I would want to collect some willow branches for the three students who were graduating (yes, that is my record, three students at a grad ceremony). He suggested that as part of this ritual I should think about these three young men as I prepared the branches for the ceremony. These were three good, upstanding young men and I was happy yo provide this service to them. I continued helping other teachers organize for grad and get ready for the summer. I packed a few things up in my room so I could vacate it (I was moving to Calgary in a couple weeks). At the grad ceremony I was asked to give the toast to the students, which was indeed an honor for me. At the end of the day I went home with only one colleague discovering that today was my birthday.

So why was this the best birthday? It was because the only gift I received was one of the most precious ones. I received a sense of peace, of hope, and of fulfillment. I learned that the best and truest way to make one happy lies not in what others do for you, but in what you do for others. When you serve others without any thought about what you will receive in return you will feel amazing. It brought me out of deep dark hole and allowed me to enjoy the sunlight. It is still something that I feel strongly these several years later.

I do not share this story to say "Look at me! Didn't I do something amazing?". In fact I debated whether or not to share this story at all because I did not want to have people think that I am some sort of wisdom guru. This is something that I had been taught all of my life by parents, teachers, and others who are far wiser than myself. no, instead I post this to offer up a challenge. I challenge you to make a birthday where you do not receive any presents, have a party, or even let people know it's your birthday. Instead, use that day to only serve others. Make it about them. I can assure you that it will be one of the best days of your life.

Hope, Mom, and Why I'm a Trekkie

Well, there is hope in my life, or should I say "Hope" in my life. On May 6th at 1:22 am in the Foothills hospital, Hope Kelly Andrews was born. She came quickly. Heather's water broke at only 10 pm, and within an hour of arriving at the hospital out came our new little girl. This birth felt different for me, likely due to a combination of being the second time instead of the first, it happening so quickly, and having to coordinate things with Barbara as well. Incidentally Barbara loves her little sister. I hope (Hope? Yup, there will be a lifetime of Hope puns) that continues as they grow older. Heather is doing great and is once again showing me how strong she is and how caring and nurturing a person she has always been.

May has become yet again an important month for me. Yesterday we had an open house for Hope. Many great friends and family and came to say hi. I always enjoy opening my home to company and it was no different this time around. It was nice to see almost twenty friends and family take a few moments out of their busy Saturday to say hi and hold a little Hope in their arms (yeah, definitely a lifetime of puns). In the evening, Heather mentioned that she came across a journal of mine with an entry from May 24, 2001. It was the day my mother passed away. I had to stop for a moment because for the first time that date slipped my mind. I will always remember that day and that it happened in May, but I honestly had forgotten to mark the event mentally until Heather reminded me. I'm not certain how I feel about this. I do not expect that my mother would want me to fixate on her passing every year at this time. For the first few years it was so, but that was more of the healing process then anything else. Usually I would remember her, say a quick prayer about her, and continue on with the rest of the day. Not this year. Has the wound of her passing finally healed? Do I want it to be fully healed? I still miss her, and I am grateful to have my eldest daughter named after her, but is it right that I had forgotten about the day? I cannot answer those questions. I do not know if this is a failing on my part or not. I have felt the loss of loved ones since, but she is and likely will be the keenest felt loss. I can only imagine Heather or one of my little girls hitting me harder.

Don't get me wrong, I am not spending countless hours at night mulling this through my mind. I just make note of it, process it, resolve what I can, and leave the rest for another time when my understanding becomes more apparent. In no way do I love my mother less. I indeed think of her on an almost daily basis, especially watching her granddaughters grow. I guess I am leaning towards the idea that I no longer feel that I "have" to remember the day my mother passed to honour her memory. Instead, I continue to live my life in a way that honours her memory. I remember the day one of her former students came by to visit us. It really impacted me to see that decades after being in her classroom this lady still felt a connection to my mother. I believe that is one of the reasons why I have tried to establish connections with all of my students. I also cannot forget that it was my mother who taught me to love Star Trek. Yup, it's all her fault. I'll expand on this more (as it is in the title), but I always found it fitting that they evening before she died she watched the series finale of Star Trek Voyager. The crew that she had faithfully watched for seven years finally made it home, and that night she was called home.

So, why Star Trek? Well, in addition to May 23 being Voyager's finale, it was also the 20th anniversary of the final episode of The Next Generation. I have always loved this franchise, and again, my mother is to thank for that. I have many people try to debate with me the reasons why Trek is so wonderful and my favourite, but it is not about the quality of the shows (although they are high quality indeed) or even the message of hope for the future. My reasons are much more personal. Star Trek was a family tradition. Every week while TNG and DS9 were on the air we would gather together in the family room. Creation Entertainment would run conventions in Edmonton twice a year during the heyday, and often the family would go. T.J. took the whole family on a Trek Cruise during my mission as a Make-A -Wish event.  Since Mom passed away my family has become a bit more fractured. T.J.'s passing added to that as well. Despite efforts on many people's parts, I really only feel close to my father (and Vi) and Tara. Life and different choices have put distance between the rest and myself, and try as I may I have not been able to bridge those distances. So when I miss the members of my family who I have not seen in a long time and nothing else is able to help, there are several DVDs I can pop into the machine and help me remember some fond memories.

So, in honour of TNG's finale, I present my Top Ten Favourite TNG episodes. However, an occasion like this cannot be marked like this without the honorable mentions. For this list, I went through the list of entire episodes and identified any that I thought could make the cut. Two part episodes are counted as one. The honorable mentions (in order of broadcast) are: Skin of Evil, Sarek, Brothers, Qpid, Darmok, Disaster, I Borg, Rascals, Tapestry, Face of the Enemy, Starship Mine, Descent, and Genesis. Now, the tougher part was deciding on the Top Ten's order. Here is what I have:
10. Conspiracy - This was a neat little first season episode. I am not a fan of gratuitous violence, but I have to say watching a guy's head explode on TV was cool. I really wish they had followed this up in later seasons.
9. Lower Decks - After ranking a first season episode, it seems fitting to have a final season episode next. The TNG episodes often revolved around the senior officers (understandably so), and they often brought in reoccurring characters such as Barclay, Ogawa, O'Brien, etc. to round out how the ship was really a ship of over 1000 people. Lower Decks to me was an episode about the little guys. It tied in a few story lines from earlier episodes but showed what I think most of fans would have loved to experience: being a part of the crew.
8. The Measure of a Man - From Season 2 this episode, in my eyes, showed the first real strength in using great story telling and character development while at the same time providing social commentary. Powerful performances from Brent Spiner, Patrick Stewart, and Johnathon Frakes helped push this episode to the #8 spot.
7. Unification - Not only do we get another great performance from Mark Leonard as Sarek, but we finally get to see Leonard Nimoy reprise his monumental role of Spock on TNG. This was a highly anticipated two-part story that sadly aired just after the death of Trek creator Gene Roddenberry (both episodes were dedicated to him) but also weeks before Star Trek VI, and provided a great hype for the new film. Throw in Sela (Denise Crosby) and a Data-Spock tag team and you have a whole lot of fun.
6. Relics - Always a fan favourite, Relics returns James Doohan as Scotty to the Trek world. For me this episode is great not just because of the connections made between TNG and the Original series but because the central TNG character was my favourite Geordi La Forge, the blind chief engineer, who sadly was rarely the main focus of any episode. Yes, it made sense that Geordi and Scotty would team up, but it is nice to see that they did so in a great way.
5. The Inner Light - OK, it's getting tough now. A lot of fans may start to cry foul that this timeless classic episode only made it #5 and not the Top 3, but I have my reasons for ranking others higher. Suffice it to say even if you are not a Trek fan, this episode is one that almost anyone can enjoy. Again, it shows how great Trek can be when the focus on telling good stories. The special effects and cool moments all take a back seat to a good story and this episode shows that such effects are not necessary.
4. Yesterday's Enterprise - One of the best time-travel/alternate universe stories that brought back my beloved Denise Crosby back as Tasha Yar. Now, I mentioned in the last one that special effects are not necessary when you have a great story, but this episode had both and were used effectively. I also like the foundations that were set for future stories, from minor things such as Worf drinking prune juice to big surprises such as the blond half-human Romulan Sela. I wish they could have shown more of how the Enterprise D crew met their fates during the final battle (apparently they were supposed to kill Wesley and Data), but it is exciting.
3. The Best of Both Worlds - I don't care about who shot JR or Mr. Burns, or who survived the terrorist attack in Dynasty, or even the Season 3 finale of LOST, this is THE BEST season cliffhanger of all time. Great development. The only thing that keeps it from higher was the slightly weaker part 2.
2. All Good Things - Definitely the best series finale in not only Trek history but in almost all of TV. It bookends the series with beauty and logic, reuniting old fan favorites like Tomalak, O'Brien, Yar, and of course, Q. I always wished that they would have done a movie with Q, but if this is as close as they will ever get, then I am satisfied with it. The end scene with the poker game is brilliantly executed and is a nice way to lead us into the TNG movies.
1. The Offspring - I can already hear fellow Trekkies questioning this choice of Data creating a daughter being #1 so let me explain. This is MY favourite list. I readily admit that if I were to rank the best episodes I would place it lower (but still top ten). What gives it the top spot for me is two things. First, there is a line that Data gives as he expresses to his daughter Lal about why he strives to be human when he will never accomplish the goal. He says that it is the journey that one makes that is important, not the actual destination. As a young man it struck a cord with me that resonates to this day. The second is the love a father has for his child. As I grew older and became a father, this episode has come to mean a great deal more to me and cements itself at the top spot.