Yesterday, Fort McMurray was hit with wildfires. The entire city has been evacuated, and much of it has been burnt. There are tens of thousands of displaced Albertans fleeing north and south for safety. Families had less than an hour in some cases to grab what they could and flee for their very lives. While the cars streamed out of the city, the images started flowing through social media. This is potentially Alberta's largest evacuation (the 2013 flood displaced 100 000 people), and is definitely the front runner for top news story of the year. In an area that was already hit hard from the economic downturn, it is a devastating blow to the area. Yes, I am reminded of the disaster that hit all too close to home three long (yet short) years ago when flood waters tore through the Calgary area. As the images of raging infernos and desperate people continue to stream on our news feeds, I cannot help but think back to that June, and see so many similarities.
The floods then, the flames now. I recall Slave Lake being gutted by fires as well. I can still see the images of the Edmonton tornado of 87. Every time a natural disaster hits this province, I am reminded of the strength of Alberta. That strength is being tested again now, and I am certain that the strength will endure. It will endure in the hearts of the countless people who will and are giving what they can to help out, and I salute each one. To the people who will give of their time and strength to fight the fires until they are out, and to those who will help rebuild. To the families who open their homes to those who just lost theirs, and to the businesses who are providing free room, gas, food, clothing, and comfort. To the believers who can do little more but send their prayers above for respite, and to the well-off who are freely giving of their excess without thought or desire for recognition. To the organizations that pledge millions of dollars in relief, and to the volunteers who will clock countless hours organizing food and toiletries. Even to the young children who will draw pictures and ask God to help the nice people of Fort Mac, every bit is strength.
However, there will always be a test of that strength. Some will seek to gain from this tragedy. There will be scam artists who will try to pick the pockets clean of those who are destitute, just to make the cheap buck. Already there are those who seek to take advantage of the situation to score political points. They are sprouting up on all sides of the spectrum to see if they can move their own agenda forward. There are those who are taking this moment to attack the government, claiming that if the other guy was in charge, things would have been better handled. There are those who take this moment to express glee that karma is kicking the evil oil workers in the collective nether regions and say that all this was coming as we pillage Mother Earth. Some will use this as a rallying cry to their tent. I say we all need to leave our respective tents and help those who need it. This is not the time to start using this real human tragedy to attack refugees and pipelines. This is not the strength of Alberta. Regardless of what side of the spectrum you vote on, or where you prefer to get your electricity from, or what type of car you drive, it is time to grow up, roll up, and step up. Put the nonsense of divisiveness in the trash where it belongs, and get out there and help. Forget climate change and work on changing your heart. Forget right wing and left wing ideologies and get going on right thing actions that will make sure the pettiness is left in the wings. Look out for your neighbours like it was 1950 because it's 2016. Stop tearing down people when the fires have torn down a whole city. If you cannot pick up a hammer or a water bottle to help the people of Fort McMurray rebuild, then drop the politics and mean tweets to help their souls rebuild.
As always, the situation will be front and center for a time, and then the long, difficult road of rebuilding will occur. Mistakes are going to be made by many people in the aftermath. The strength of Alberta will come in the fixing of those mistakes. We need to remember that we are all in this together. Let us give each other the benefit of the doubt for the time being, and chip in where we can. Donate money to the right places. Stand up with those we often stand against as we stand togther with our friends, family, and fellow Albertans in Fort McMurray. Give your spare change, give your spare time, and do a little more. The strength of Alberta will win out over this as it has in the past. Fort McMurray will again contribute to the well-being of this fair province and country. We can and will do this together.
After all, this is Alberta. It's what we do.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Monday, May 2, 2016
What I Learned at the Park
This evening, Heather and I took the girls to Bowness Park. It was a beautiful evening. The sun was shining brightly, there was a nice breeze that kept the temperature pleasant, and the playground was full of families, everyone enjoying the moment. Barbara was soon talking to other children and asking them to play with her made up games. Hope was happily trotting up and down the toddler structure, a big smile beaming on her face. Instead of hovering over my kids I decided instead to just hang back and watch the girls go.
Gradually, my focus started to shift to the other children and families in the park with us. As I looked around, I started to notice the people around me. There were people of all different kinds with us. A variety of ages and ethnicity. I heard four different languages being spoken (at least), and a number of accents that suggest native languages might have been more. I watched the children play and laugh, no rhyme or reason, just random play and laughter. The noise was almost musical, infectious, and enthralling all at once. I couldn't help but smile.
As the children played, I began to think about how our world is today. Perhaps I am being nostalgic and looking back at the past through rose-colored glasses, but I cannot help but feel that our society has gradually been losing something important. I feel that we are more divided than we ever have been before. I look at how politics, religion, social justice, and economics separates us from each other. We argue with each other more often than not. Technology that was supposed to connect us more seems to keep us apart as we fight and bicker about things that sometimes feel so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. How did we get this way? Have we always secretly been this way, and my eyes are only opening now? Quite frankly, I just don't know.
I thought that while I was in university, our world had bridged divides, removed the things that kept us apart. People could have faith and belief without having to justify it. Communities would come together in tragedies. People celebrated differences more, and compromises were easier to find. We found joy in positivity. Yes, we had problems. There were still some who were marginalized. There were still some who were outcasts. No, it was not a utopia a mere decade or so ago, but it feels like we have lost more ground than we gained. It seems as though we bring one group into inclusion by pushing another one out. We open the proverbial closet for one, and shove another in to fill the void. Many preach tolerance of all, but act as if it is only for those who agree with them. Debate has become who can get the bigger zingers in, and one-liners seems to have replaced rational thought.
And the children played on. I started yearning for a fresh start. Heather walked over, and I said "I wish the world was more like this playground". Heather agreed. Nobody was looking at each other with suspicion or mistrust. The children played with whoever they wanted, however they wanted, for as long as their parents were willing to push back bedtime. Barbara was asking any kid that came by if they wanted to pilot her spaceship (the play structure) while she checked the engines. Nobody talked about not playing with certain children, just to be mindful of everyone so that we all had fun. Soon, Barbara was on the spider web merry-go-round with about a dozen other kids, and she wanted me to make it spin really fast. Soon, all the kids were encouraging me to go faster and faster while their parents watched with smiles and laughs, no phones recording anything. We were a group of people from many backgrounds, just enjoying the nice weather and the time spent with family.
I wish the world could have seen us this evening. We were not necessarily becoming BFFs or anything, but we were united. We didn't know each other's names, but we were pleasantly chatting it up. We watched our own kids and watched out for everyone. For a brief moment, the problems of the world was replaced with the laughter of children. We could be whoever we wanted to be, not just the labels our society placed on us. We could enjoy our families without having to apologize for anything. We just watched our children play together. There were only tears when parents had to tell their kids it was time to go (for Barbara, even the promise of ice cream couldn't hold back the crying). As we left, there were more families coming with their kids, and I expect that they also had fun with everyone.
I climbed into the van, and when I turned the ignition on, the news emanated from the radio with stories of elections and refugees, of politics and economics, of fear and hatred. It did not take me long to replace it with a seemingly fitting Disney hit, "Let It Go", and I wish our world can simply let go of the divisions and intolerance. Next on the playlist was "Rainbow Connection", and I began to hope that we would have more real connections. As we pulled into McDonalds for some well deserved treats, I once again resolved that the only way to change the world is to be that which I want the world to change to. If I want the world to be kind, then I must be kinder. If I want the world to be more accepting, than I must be more accepting. If I want more love in the world, then I must show more love to the world I live in.
I look forward to going back to the park.
Gradually, my focus started to shift to the other children and families in the park with us. As I looked around, I started to notice the people around me. There were people of all different kinds with us. A variety of ages and ethnicity. I heard four different languages being spoken (at least), and a number of accents that suggest native languages might have been more. I watched the children play and laugh, no rhyme or reason, just random play and laughter. The noise was almost musical, infectious, and enthralling all at once. I couldn't help but smile.
As the children played, I began to think about how our world is today. Perhaps I am being nostalgic and looking back at the past through rose-colored glasses, but I cannot help but feel that our society has gradually been losing something important. I feel that we are more divided than we ever have been before. I look at how politics, religion, social justice, and economics separates us from each other. We argue with each other more often than not. Technology that was supposed to connect us more seems to keep us apart as we fight and bicker about things that sometimes feel so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. How did we get this way? Have we always secretly been this way, and my eyes are only opening now? Quite frankly, I just don't know.
I thought that while I was in university, our world had bridged divides, removed the things that kept us apart. People could have faith and belief without having to justify it. Communities would come together in tragedies. People celebrated differences more, and compromises were easier to find. We found joy in positivity. Yes, we had problems. There were still some who were marginalized. There were still some who were outcasts. No, it was not a utopia a mere decade or so ago, but it feels like we have lost more ground than we gained. It seems as though we bring one group into inclusion by pushing another one out. We open the proverbial closet for one, and shove another in to fill the void. Many preach tolerance of all, but act as if it is only for those who agree with them. Debate has become who can get the bigger zingers in, and one-liners seems to have replaced rational thought.
And the children played on. I started yearning for a fresh start. Heather walked over, and I said "I wish the world was more like this playground". Heather agreed. Nobody was looking at each other with suspicion or mistrust. The children played with whoever they wanted, however they wanted, for as long as their parents were willing to push back bedtime. Barbara was asking any kid that came by if they wanted to pilot her spaceship (the play structure) while she checked the engines. Nobody talked about not playing with certain children, just to be mindful of everyone so that we all had fun. Soon, Barbara was on the spider web merry-go-round with about a dozen other kids, and she wanted me to make it spin really fast. Soon, all the kids were encouraging me to go faster and faster while their parents watched with smiles and laughs, no phones recording anything. We were a group of people from many backgrounds, just enjoying the nice weather and the time spent with family.
I wish the world could have seen us this evening. We were not necessarily becoming BFFs or anything, but we were united. We didn't know each other's names, but we were pleasantly chatting it up. We watched our own kids and watched out for everyone. For a brief moment, the problems of the world was replaced with the laughter of children. We could be whoever we wanted to be, not just the labels our society placed on us. We could enjoy our families without having to apologize for anything. We just watched our children play together. There were only tears when parents had to tell their kids it was time to go (for Barbara, even the promise of ice cream couldn't hold back the crying). As we left, there were more families coming with their kids, and I expect that they also had fun with everyone.
I climbed into the van, and when I turned the ignition on, the news emanated from the radio with stories of elections and refugees, of politics and economics, of fear and hatred. It did not take me long to replace it with a seemingly fitting Disney hit, "Let It Go", and I wish our world can simply let go of the divisions and intolerance. Next on the playlist was "Rainbow Connection", and I began to hope that we would have more real connections. As we pulled into McDonalds for some well deserved treats, I once again resolved that the only way to change the world is to be that which I want the world to change to. If I want the world to be kind, then I must be kinder. If I want the world to be more accepting, than I must be more accepting. If I want more love in the world, then I must show more love to the world I live in.
I look forward to going back to the park.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
A Difference of 4 Years
Since I started writing this blog, I tried to keep the politics at a minimum. I have never felt myself allied with one particular political party over another, and tend to pride myself on being an independent voter. Politics has lately become quite interesting, and also a bit concerning for me. Within the last year, things I never would have thought to happen have happened. An NDP majority in Alberta, a three-way tie for the top in the last federal election for such a long period of time, and the rise of Donald Trump in the Republican nomination process. Several key issues seem to come up again and again, and this is where I find the compulsion to address current electorate issues in this blog. I look back to four years ago, and I find that things have definitely changed, and I am not sure if it is for better or for worse.
Four years ago, the big talk was the US election. Mitt Romney was taking on Barack Obama. I got into a bit of trouble on Facebook when I posted that I envied the Americans and their choice in president. I thought both men were men of integrity, honor, and had good character. While they differed in their ideology, I thought each party was putting forward a good man who had the essence of statesmanship to run one of the most powerful countries in the world. This time around, I feel as if the US has swung back in the opposite direction. While the primaries are far from over, there are two candidates that are looking very likely to be the nominees of the two parties. On the Democrat side we have former First Lady Hillary Clinton. On the Republican side, it is looking more and more likely that billionaire Donald Trump is the most likely to grab the spot on the ballot. Four years ago, I saw two candidates that were excellent choices. Now, it looks like we will see America choosing between the lesser of two evils.
On the side of Clinton, she has a history that leaves something to be desired. She has been caught in many lies, showing her actions to be a risk to national security, and represents a lot of what many see as the "establishment" in American politics that is rife with greed, scandal, and dishonesty. On the side of Trump, he has no political experience. He has at best vague and at worst impossible policy ideas. He is also bringing out the underbelly of American society with his rhetoric of racism, misogyny, rudeness, and vulgarity. The odd thing for me is that on paper, both look to be lesser candidates to become the President of the United States of America, and yet they each lead their party in delegates in the lead up to this summer's nominations conventions. Hillary Clinton I understand better. She is experienced, is making her second run at the White House, and has a vast army of supporters standing by her every step of the way that are easily looking over her past indiscretions. Trump, on the other hand, is a real head scratch scenario for me. He represents everything that I believe a US President should not be. He is greedy. He is a liar. He is racist. He demeans women. He is insulting. He is crude and vulgar. And he has people flocking to him in ever growing numbers. It is mind-boggling to me.
Now before I get too far ahead of myself, it is important to note that there are still several primaries left to go. Ted Cruz is going to be Trump's biggest opponent now (he seems to have the most momentum). Meanwhile Bernie Sanders is making a big push recently to gain ground on Clinton. I would be interested to see what actually happens, but as the title of my blog indicates, I am amazed what a difference four years can make. If it is Trump vs. Clinton in November, I am very uncertain as to who is the better candidate. Four years ago the USA had the best from both parties going toe-to-toe. Now, it looks like it's the opposite. This is where a third party candidate might actually make a big splash in the election, but in all honesty, I am not hopeful. When we look at the front-runners of each party, I worry for my neighbours to the south. I do not envy them their decision.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Early Spring Musings
Looks like the groundhog was right. We seem to be heading towards an early spring. I can't remember the last day we had highs in the double digits on the minus side or a significant dumpage of snow. I suspect we'll have winter give us one last hurrah or snap, but in the meantime I will enjoy what it is.
Both of my last posts seem to have hit triple digits, which is cool, but I can't help but wonder if there is some little internet robot somewhere randomly clicking my page and giving me views. It looks as if I am getting some attention in India and Italy for some reason, which is cool if it is real. Hello to my international friends!
Currently life is going quite well for the Andrews clan. The girls are growing fast. Hope seems to be talking more and more each day, and Barbara is starting to read a few words. I think the most exciting thing abut being a parent at this stage is watching a child grow and learn things that we often take for granted. As the days progress I am sure that I will look back at this time with fondness, so I guess it is good that I recognize and appreciate what I have. So here is my first Early Spring Musing: be grateful for what is happening right now.
On the entertainment side of life, life is also progressing. Some things that I had hoped for have proven to be disappointing. The Shannara Chronicles that I had been so excited about has not met my hopes and expectations. To be fair, the show is good. Lots of excitement and fun. My issues have to do with the creative licence of the show in deviating from the story line given in the novel. Characters are being added and omitted and changed, and it presents a story that is very different from what I had read. I get that not everything can be kept the same, but when enough changes make you wonder if you are watching the same show, you lose something. The author is behind every change, and he has that right, but I also have the right to be disappointed. I had watched the first four or five episodes as they aired, but since then stopped. The rest is on my PVR and I'll watch it later, but it's not a big deal for me to stay up to date. Besides, the Flash and the Big Bang Theory continue to entertain, and DC's Legends of Tomorrow has been fun. Still, I wished that Shannara had been better. Second Early Spring Musing: life has disappointments, and that's OK. It also means that disappointments in life do not have to be "bad" things.
Looking ahead, Heather and I are excited about taking a vacation together to Las Vegas for the 50th Anniversary Star Trek Convention. We will be gone in August for about a week. This has mixed feelings for me. I love spending time with Heather, and before the kids came going on a trip together was something really enjoyable. I miss those times, and it will be nice to do a trip again. What gives me any reservation is leaving the girls behind. Barbara and Hope are so wonderful, and I really look forward to the time when they are big enough to be able to come on such trips. We will miss them terribly, and I hope that as we are enjoying ourselves in Vegas we won't feel guilty over not having them with us, but that might be tough to do. I think trips like this are important for a couple, but it should not negate (or be interpreted to negate) how important our kids are. Third Early Spring Musing: enjoying one thing does not mean you don't miss out on other good things.
So there we go. Just some random stuff going through my head. In the meantime, getting back to one of my traditions, a Top Ten List. I think for this I'll do my Top 10 Favorite movies based on my Flickchart rankings.
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - Such a well made movie.
9. Star Trek: First Contact - whew! A Next Gen film made it!
8. The Lion King - most epic of all the Disney animated films
7. The Incredibles - the best of Pixar (I love the "where's my super suit" bit)
6. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - a classic movie from a classic novel
5. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - the only Best Picture winner on the list
4. The Princess Bride - I think that this is the only non-franchise movie (Incredibles has a sequel coming out in the next couple years, I think)
3. Star Trek (2009) - a great reboot
2. The Avengers - so much fun!
1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - was there ever any doubt?
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Tragedy and Compassion
My last post seems to have struck a chord with many of my past students. Not since my first post have I had triple digit page views. I put a lot of thought and passion into that post, and the feedback I have received has been entirely positive. For that, I am grateful. I hope those who read it kept this in mind: while I was targeting one particular group with my post, such feelings tend to creep into our lives from multiple sources, so be ever vigilant.
Sadly, another event has caused me some to do some soul searching recently. Earlier this month, here in Calgary, a group of teenage boys snuck into Canada Olympic Park and went down one of their tracks in a make-shift sled. They crashed into a gate, and two of the eight were killed. To add to the tragedy, the two were twin brothers. It was a sad situation for our city. While I did not know these young men, many people I associate with both at church and at school knew them. They were students at Westmount Charter Academy, so I feel a bit closer to the situation. As stories about these young men began to proliferate the realms of cyber-space I was drawn to the comment sections. Amid the valid expressions of grief, sorrow, and dismay, there were the sadly predictable voices who cried that these boys were idiots, law-breakers, and hoodlums who deserved their fate. When people hear of something tragic, the immediate actions of those involved usually serve as the basis of their initial reaction. That is a typical and natural reaction, and yet there is always more beyond the surface. As this story unfolded, stories of the lives of these twin brothers who had died surfaced. They were described as good kids, full of potential, full of goodness. Some called them heroes. Despite this, there were many who said that what they did was wrong, and therefor they should be universally condemned for their actions that ended their lives. I knew a few individuals who expressed that they could not yet find compassion in themselves for these young men. I get it. They messed up, and paid with their lives. They left behind families and loved ones who now have to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.
This led me to think about an important question: what is the purpose and value of compassion? Why are some deserving of it and others not? Why do some embrace it while others seem void of what is commonly held as a positive trait? I wonder at what point does our immediate action nullify everything we did in the past? These boys did a lot of good in their lives, and made the world a better place for those they were in contact with. Some of my students knew them and spoke highly of them. Does this one deed, no matter how tragic, wipe away all the good they did? The reverse can be asked as well. Does a person who led a life full of bad choices that caused pain for others get wiped away by one final act of heroism? I'm not sure if I can be the judge of that, but I came to a few thoughts about the subject that help settle some of the conflict I was experiencing.
First, it is possible to have compassion for these young men and others like them. Not only do I think it is possible, but it is right. Their mistake, while devastating in its outcome, was one of innocence. Did they know better? Of course they did, but that in no way should cause them to be labeled with extreme harshness. They made an honest error that so many of us as youth have made. They were not the first nor shall they be the last to commit the mistake of believing in teen invulnerability. Because I can understand it, I can keep the idea that their good lives should not be defined by this act, despite the fact that in cut those lives short. So I can have compassion for them, their family, and the ones they leave behind. I can have compassion for the other boys that were hurt in the accident. I can accept that they are deserving of this compassion from me.
Second, compassion is an essential part of forgiveness, and we do not forgive merely for the betterment of those who caused us the harm, but to allow us to heal. Many who withhold compassion from these brothers withhold forgiveness. They may not realize it, but it is true. They judge with callousness, seeing the world in stark black and white detail that robs them of the richness of colour. Quite often they claim compassion, and then spew their rant about how reckless and stupid teenagers are these day, with no sense of respect for anything. Compassion is not throwing salt on the open wound or kicking someone when they are down. It is not rubbing in the tragedy to those left behind that will carry these scars for the rest of their lives. If we are told to forgive others, then that is what we must work at doing. And trust me, for some it is indeed work to have compassion and forgiveness for others. It takes effort. One friend expressed on Facebook that he found it difficult to be charitable towards these young men, but not in a way that was meant to make him superior, but to recognize that he could not find compassion and wanted to improve. That is bravery on his part.
Third, we can have compassion without excusing the action. The young men involved made a big mistake, and they were delivered the most real of consequences as a result. I do feel bad for them, and hope they and their families will find peace, but never once did I say that what they did was "alright". I cannot in good integrity say that what they did was anything but wrong. Where the compassion comes in is not dwelling on those facts more than necessary. I cannot expect the family to move on if I am in their face every minute pointing out what a dumb mistake those boys made. If I were to do that, I would be in the wrong. Instead, we offer love, support, and prayers to those most directly affected. I do not know the family, but I wish I could hug them all right now.
So, looking forward, I hope to have more compassion for those around me. I hope to inspire others to do the same. I see how between this and the last post I made I seem to say some conflicting things. Last time I spoke harshly towards a man and his group regarding their attitude towards women. Those words still stand. I will forgive them, but will actively oppose their brand of filth. The difference between these two situations is that in the more recent ones, these were a pair of brothers who had led exemplary lives and died for making a dumb mistake, while the other involves a man who actively attempts to inspire men to rape and abuse women. So my compassion for the Return of Kings dirt-bags will include hope that they will reform and general "they are human so I will give them a drink of water if they are dying of thirst" compassion. Maybe that is not the perfect attitude, but I do not claim perfection. Until next time.
Sadly, another event has caused me some to do some soul searching recently. Earlier this month, here in Calgary, a group of teenage boys snuck into Canada Olympic Park and went down one of their tracks in a make-shift sled. They crashed into a gate, and two of the eight were killed. To add to the tragedy, the two were twin brothers. It was a sad situation for our city. While I did not know these young men, many people I associate with both at church and at school knew them. They were students at Westmount Charter Academy, so I feel a bit closer to the situation. As stories about these young men began to proliferate the realms of cyber-space I was drawn to the comment sections. Amid the valid expressions of grief, sorrow, and dismay, there were the sadly predictable voices who cried that these boys were idiots, law-breakers, and hoodlums who deserved their fate. When people hear of something tragic, the immediate actions of those involved usually serve as the basis of their initial reaction. That is a typical and natural reaction, and yet there is always more beyond the surface. As this story unfolded, stories of the lives of these twin brothers who had died surfaced. They were described as good kids, full of potential, full of goodness. Some called them heroes. Despite this, there were many who said that what they did was wrong, and therefor they should be universally condemned for their actions that ended their lives. I knew a few individuals who expressed that they could not yet find compassion in themselves for these young men. I get it. They messed up, and paid with their lives. They left behind families and loved ones who now have to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.
This led me to think about an important question: what is the purpose and value of compassion? Why are some deserving of it and others not? Why do some embrace it while others seem void of what is commonly held as a positive trait? I wonder at what point does our immediate action nullify everything we did in the past? These boys did a lot of good in their lives, and made the world a better place for those they were in contact with. Some of my students knew them and spoke highly of them. Does this one deed, no matter how tragic, wipe away all the good they did? The reverse can be asked as well. Does a person who led a life full of bad choices that caused pain for others get wiped away by one final act of heroism? I'm not sure if I can be the judge of that, but I came to a few thoughts about the subject that help settle some of the conflict I was experiencing.
First, it is possible to have compassion for these young men and others like them. Not only do I think it is possible, but it is right. Their mistake, while devastating in its outcome, was one of innocence. Did they know better? Of course they did, but that in no way should cause them to be labeled with extreme harshness. They made an honest error that so many of us as youth have made. They were not the first nor shall they be the last to commit the mistake of believing in teen invulnerability. Because I can understand it, I can keep the idea that their good lives should not be defined by this act, despite the fact that in cut those lives short. So I can have compassion for them, their family, and the ones they leave behind. I can have compassion for the other boys that were hurt in the accident. I can accept that they are deserving of this compassion from me.
Second, compassion is an essential part of forgiveness, and we do not forgive merely for the betterment of those who caused us the harm, but to allow us to heal. Many who withhold compassion from these brothers withhold forgiveness. They may not realize it, but it is true. They judge with callousness, seeing the world in stark black and white detail that robs them of the richness of colour. Quite often they claim compassion, and then spew their rant about how reckless and stupid teenagers are these day, with no sense of respect for anything. Compassion is not throwing salt on the open wound or kicking someone when they are down. It is not rubbing in the tragedy to those left behind that will carry these scars for the rest of their lives. If we are told to forgive others, then that is what we must work at doing. And trust me, for some it is indeed work to have compassion and forgiveness for others. It takes effort. One friend expressed on Facebook that he found it difficult to be charitable towards these young men, but not in a way that was meant to make him superior, but to recognize that he could not find compassion and wanted to improve. That is bravery on his part.
Third, we can have compassion without excusing the action. The young men involved made a big mistake, and they were delivered the most real of consequences as a result. I do feel bad for them, and hope they and their families will find peace, but never once did I say that what they did was "alright". I cannot in good integrity say that what they did was anything but wrong. Where the compassion comes in is not dwelling on those facts more than necessary. I cannot expect the family to move on if I am in their face every minute pointing out what a dumb mistake those boys made. If I were to do that, I would be in the wrong. Instead, we offer love, support, and prayers to those most directly affected. I do not know the family, but I wish I could hug them all right now.
So, looking forward, I hope to have more compassion for those around me. I hope to inspire others to do the same. I see how between this and the last post I made I seem to say some conflicting things. Last time I spoke harshly towards a man and his group regarding their attitude towards women. Those words still stand. I will forgive them, but will actively oppose their brand of filth. The difference between these two situations is that in the more recent ones, these were a pair of brothers who had led exemplary lives and died for making a dumb mistake, while the other involves a man who actively attempts to inspire men to rape and abuse women. So my compassion for the Return of Kings dirt-bags will include hope that they will reform and general "they are human so I will give them a drink of water if they are dying of thirst" compassion. Maybe that is not the perfect attitude, but I do not claim perfection. Until next time.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
A Letter to My Former Students
For the past 13 years I have had the privilege of teaching some outstanding young men and women. I have taught them the wonders of the world around them, from the cellular processes to the creation of a human child, from simple motion vectors to the complex chemical reactions that make life possible. In church I have been teaching you about the ways of God, of Christ, and how to become a righteous child of God. In addition to the curriculum of the given subject, it has also been my goal to teach you how to be a good person, to be resilient in life's challenges, to laugh and love with enthusiasm, to value life and support each other and those around you when life becomes difficult. Please know that while many of your names may fade from my immediate recollection over time (I've literally had over a thousand of you sit in my room), when I see your familiar faces it brings me great joy to know how you are doing and what adventure you are on. Many of you have connected with me on a personal level that has brought me much strength. I have stood by some of you as you have faced great struggles and challenges, and unbeknownst to many of you, I have received strength in facing my own challenges. A few of you have said that you see me as a father figure. That means a lot to me.
So let me be a bit of a father figure right now, especially to young men that have sat in my classroom. This is a life lesson that you need to hear right now. It came to my attention yesterday that there is a group of men on the internet that refer to themselves as "The Return of Kings". I suspect you may already know who these guys are and what they represent. If you don't, please allow me to enlighten you. They are disgusting misogynistic men who have an insane notion that rape in the privacy of one's home should be legal. They have a misguided image of what a real man is. It is an image of male superiority that didn't belong in the Dark Ages, let alone the 21st Century. They have a perverted view of what a "real man" should be. To think that such a group exists today is saddening. I was especially alarmed to learn that the founder of this group is planning public meetings across North America, especially in Vancouver, Toronto, Edmonton, Victoria, Ottawa, Winnipeg, Surrey, Windsor, and here in Calgary.
Now, to the young men who sat in a desk in my classroom. You may or may not have enjoyed your time in my class, you may or may not remember anything I ever said or taught, but I hope you remember what I am about to say. Any "man" who associates with this group associates not with men but with cowards. These are not men. They are more akin to cockroaches who swarm in the cover of darkness, only to scurry for the shadows when the light of truth and good is shone upon them. I am shining a light on them now. I know I should show love to all my fellow human beings, but this group is making it difficult for me. Do you know who has been my biggest sources of strength in my life? My mother. My father. My big sister. My wife. My stepmother. My two daughters. My two sons. Nine people in that list, and RoK would argue that two thirds of them are beneath me, that they are less than me, that I should "dominate" them simply because I was born with a Y chromosome and they were not. What utter trash. They would take the souls of these saintly women in my life and demean them. I then look at all of my students, past and present. These are my "kids". I love and pray for my kids daily. This vile group would say that one half of my kids should be able to rape the other half whenever they want. To think that a woman or girl is little more than property or a pet is sickening. To the young men, so many of which have shown me that you get this point I'm making, I ask you to not just stay away from associating with this group, but actively counteract it's putrid message. Treat the women in your life with respect, dignity, care, and compassion. Do not demand that the women in your life bow to your every want and whim. When you see a "man" berate a woman, abuse a woman, or disrespect a woman, I want you stand beside that woman and be there for her. Don't do this because only a man can save a woman, because that is not true. Don't do it because it is our "job" to protect women, because it's not and they are capable of protecting themselves. Do it because it is the right thing to do. You don't have to be like a knight in shining armor riding to their rescue, just be a decent human being who will not stand for this revolting refuse.
To the young women I was teacher to, now it's your turn. Never accept less than full respect from the men in your life. If your boyfriend hits you, he is not showing love. If he tears you down in private or public, he is not showing love. If he acts in anyway that is less than a proper gentleman, be wary. I have not met a single person, woman or man, who deserves to be treated like trash by someone who supposedly loves them. Dump the jerk. You deserve better than that. If you see a friend or sister who is in such a circumstance, be there for them. Pass this message from me along to them: send that scumbag packing. I have seen too many of my kids get hurt by someone who was supposed to love them. These guys think that they are entitled to that which is most precious to you: your virtue. If the man in your life subscribes to the opinions of this group, he needs to be out of your life immediately if not sooner. If that man is your boyfriend, break up with him now. If a man asks you out and he starts to expect that which he is not entitled to from you, tell him "It's not me, it's you" and get rid of him.
My former students, my "kids", I beg of you, avoid this group of so-called returned Kings like you would a plague. Stand up to their disgusting ideals. You will find that these pigs (oops, my apologies to members of the porcine species) may be Kings, but their kingdom is a garbage heap and a mess located in the bowels of disgrace and inhumanity. You are above this. I am calling on you. I encourage you to tolerate diverse ideas and opinions and beliefs. This time, I am saying to not tolerate this one. There is no good in it. I love you all.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Hello 2016
A new year, a new attempt to reach my 1 post/month goal. Good thing I don't blog for a living.
It is interesting how every year we have this idea of making resolutions. I get it. A new year offers a chance to start a new chapter, turn a new leaf, and do things better. Funny thing is that we rarely make these resolutions stick. I think it's because we often go about things in the wrong way. I find it amusing how often I hear on the radio from all these "experts" ideas and strategies on keeping your New Year's Resolutions this time of year. Too bad come February people stop talking about it. I thought for this blog I would not only blog but have my traditional Top 10 List, this time entitled "Top 10 Things to Remember About New Year's Resolutions":
10. You don't have to do it. I honestly cannot remember when I made an official New Year's Resolutions last. That does mean that I don't resolve to make what I think are important changes in my life. I do. What I don't feel is necessary is to only make these resolutions on December 31 and get started on them January 1. I don't think you are any less of a human being for not participating in this tradition.
9. There is no law that says when you have to make these resolutions. Why do they have to come in effect January 1? Why not start on the resolution when the idea comes into your head? Honestly, making resolutions to change behaviour that we may deem to be holding us back should ongoing. Only doing it once a year seems to me that you are setting yourself up for failure. If it was something you truly wanted to do, you would get started on it immediately, not wait until January 1.
8. Failure is an option, but it doesn't have to be final. I get what those who say "Failure is not an option!" are getting at when they explode in your face if you even mention the possibility of not reaching a goal. Nobody wants to fail at anything in life, and if you push yourself to avoid failure, you may be more than likely to reach your goal. I would offer, however, that if we ignore the real risk of failure then we set ourselves up for not being able to deal with it when it comes. It seems to me that being better able to handle setbacks is more important than avoiding failure at all costs. If you fail at your keeping your resolution, so what? Learn from the setback, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Good advice.
7. What's the motive? Why are you making the resolution? If you are doing it because you are part of the crowd, then re-read Point 10, and prepare for Point 8. If you don't have a solid reason for making the resolution, then you are likely not going to care about whether or not you are achieve it. I would also add that "because it's important" is not enough. For example, I have faithfully kept a journal since January 1, 2012 (oh, I guess that is my last official resolution). I have tried keeping journals many times in the past, and yet for the past four years I have been making a written record of every day. What was different? Well, in 2012 I was facing the birth of my first child, and the thought occurred to me that I wanted my children to know me and what my life was like. I knew it was important before 2012, and yet having something tangible to pass onto my children made it important to me. That was the difference. Similarly, when I started going to a gym, I wanted to be healthier so I could have more energy and be there for my kids for longer. Again, the reason was real for me. Nobody can successfully argue that these things are not important, but it's only when the importance is personal that your reason to succeed becomes a powerful driving force.
6. Have a plan. Want to eat better? It's more than just doing it. It involves having a plan. Decide what foods you will avoid, what you will increase in, and how to find your balance. Too often people break their resolutions simply because they had no idea how to be successful. Nobody who has amounted to anything in this world ever got there on a whim and a prayer. Those who fail to plan are only planning to fail.
5. Make the cuts for something better. If you are driving a beat up, gas-guzzling, clunker of a car that costs more on repairs, and you go and buy a brand new car, are you planning on driving both? Chances are you aren't. So if you are trying to fit in something that you know is better for you, may I recommend that you find the room in your life by removing something else. This would be like getting rid of the clunker. I used to do a fair bit of gaming. As I looked at adding new things to enrich my life, I decided to put much of my gaming on the back-burner. Eventually, I wound up spending hardly any time on the online games at all. With this goes the caution to cut out things that do little, if anything, to make you a better person.
4. Fill the void. This is similar to the last point. When you remove something from your life, it leaves a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum, so take control and decide what you will replace it with. If you cut something out and have nothing to replace it, you will find that more often than not you will find the old habit coming back or something equally harmful taking its place.
3. Have someone in the loop. If we are to have the best chances of being successful in our goal setting, it is vital to have someone who knows about the goal and is willing to talk things over with you as you progress towards success. This is what some refer to as an Accountability Partner. I refer to it as having someone who knows what you are trying to do and will occasionally talk to you about it. If it's just you and your inner thoughts, you will likely rationalize away why you are not succeeding. You need someone to bring you to Earth every once in a while.
2. Celebrate the small victories. Made it to the gym 6 times in the first two weeks? Indulge your sweet-tooth just once. Made it the whole month without using a single cuss word? Treat yourself to dinner out. Build on it. You don't need to throw a party for every hour you go without smoking, and the celebration should be appropriate (if you resolved to quit smoking, don't celebrate the first month with a cigar). Eventually, the celebrations stop as the new habit becomes the norm, but recognize the progress you made.
1. Know yourself. This, for me, is the hardest part. It involves being very honest with yourself. It means knowing that when you mess up, and you will mess up now and then, you will react. You can usually figure out how before it happens. This includes identifying what obstacles will be the hardest for you to overcome. This includes knowing your weaknesses. This includes recognizing which goals may be too lofty for you at this time. It means that you are putting thought and effort into making yourself a better person by understanding what kind of person you are. To thine own self be true.
It is interesting how every year we have this idea of making resolutions. I get it. A new year offers a chance to start a new chapter, turn a new leaf, and do things better. Funny thing is that we rarely make these resolutions stick. I think it's because we often go about things in the wrong way. I find it amusing how often I hear on the radio from all these "experts" ideas and strategies on keeping your New Year's Resolutions this time of year. Too bad come February people stop talking about it. I thought for this blog I would not only blog but have my traditional Top 10 List, this time entitled "Top 10 Things to Remember About New Year's Resolutions":
10. You don't have to do it. I honestly cannot remember when I made an official New Year's Resolutions last. That does mean that I don't resolve to make what I think are important changes in my life. I do. What I don't feel is necessary is to only make these resolutions on December 31 and get started on them January 1. I don't think you are any less of a human being for not participating in this tradition.
9. There is no law that says when you have to make these resolutions. Why do they have to come in effect January 1? Why not start on the resolution when the idea comes into your head? Honestly, making resolutions to change behaviour that we may deem to be holding us back should ongoing. Only doing it once a year seems to me that you are setting yourself up for failure. If it was something you truly wanted to do, you would get started on it immediately, not wait until January 1.
8. Failure is an option, but it doesn't have to be final. I get what those who say "Failure is not an option!" are getting at when they explode in your face if you even mention the possibility of not reaching a goal. Nobody wants to fail at anything in life, and if you push yourself to avoid failure, you may be more than likely to reach your goal. I would offer, however, that if we ignore the real risk of failure then we set ourselves up for not being able to deal with it when it comes. It seems to me that being better able to handle setbacks is more important than avoiding failure at all costs. If you fail at your keeping your resolution, so what? Learn from the setback, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Good advice.
7. What's the motive? Why are you making the resolution? If you are doing it because you are part of the crowd, then re-read Point 10, and prepare for Point 8. If you don't have a solid reason for making the resolution, then you are likely not going to care about whether or not you are achieve it. I would also add that "because it's important" is not enough. For example, I have faithfully kept a journal since January 1, 2012 (oh, I guess that is my last official resolution). I have tried keeping journals many times in the past, and yet for the past four years I have been making a written record of every day. What was different? Well, in 2012 I was facing the birth of my first child, and the thought occurred to me that I wanted my children to know me and what my life was like. I knew it was important before 2012, and yet having something tangible to pass onto my children made it important to me. That was the difference. Similarly, when I started going to a gym, I wanted to be healthier so I could have more energy and be there for my kids for longer. Again, the reason was real for me. Nobody can successfully argue that these things are not important, but it's only when the importance is personal that your reason to succeed becomes a powerful driving force.
6. Have a plan. Want to eat better? It's more than just doing it. It involves having a plan. Decide what foods you will avoid, what you will increase in, and how to find your balance. Too often people break their resolutions simply because they had no idea how to be successful. Nobody who has amounted to anything in this world ever got there on a whim and a prayer. Those who fail to plan are only planning to fail.
5. Make the cuts for something better. If you are driving a beat up, gas-guzzling, clunker of a car that costs more on repairs, and you go and buy a brand new car, are you planning on driving both? Chances are you aren't. So if you are trying to fit in something that you know is better for you, may I recommend that you find the room in your life by removing something else. This would be like getting rid of the clunker. I used to do a fair bit of gaming. As I looked at adding new things to enrich my life, I decided to put much of my gaming on the back-burner. Eventually, I wound up spending hardly any time on the online games at all. With this goes the caution to cut out things that do little, if anything, to make you a better person.
4. Fill the void. This is similar to the last point. When you remove something from your life, it leaves a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum, so take control and decide what you will replace it with. If you cut something out and have nothing to replace it, you will find that more often than not you will find the old habit coming back or something equally harmful taking its place.
3. Have someone in the loop. If we are to have the best chances of being successful in our goal setting, it is vital to have someone who knows about the goal and is willing to talk things over with you as you progress towards success. This is what some refer to as an Accountability Partner. I refer to it as having someone who knows what you are trying to do and will occasionally talk to you about it. If it's just you and your inner thoughts, you will likely rationalize away why you are not succeeding. You need someone to bring you to Earth every once in a while.
2. Celebrate the small victories. Made it to the gym 6 times in the first two weeks? Indulge your sweet-tooth just once. Made it the whole month without using a single cuss word? Treat yourself to dinner out. Build on it. You don't need to throw a party for every hour you go without smoking, and the celebration should be appropriate (if you resolved to quit smoking, don't celebrate the first month with a cigar). Eventually, the celebrations stop as the new habit becomes the norm, but recognize the progress you made.
1. Know yourself. This, for me, is the hardest part. It involves being very honest with yourself. It means knowing that when you mess up, and you will mess up now and then, you will react. You can usually figure out how before it happens. This includes identifying what obstacles will be the hardest for you to overcome. This includes knowing your weaknesses. This includes recognizing which goals may be too lofty for you at this time. It means that you are putting thought and effort into making yourself a better person by understanding what kind of person you are. To thine own self be true.
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