A New Leaf

Well, here we are, near the end of May, and I wish this Blog was a bit happier. I have been wondering what to say in this entry, but I guess there is only one thing to say. My life is changing in a way that I never thought would happen. My worst nightmare was realised at the end of February. Jen has left me. We are officially separated, and she does not want to reconcile. Her reasons are her own, and it is the worst thing that has happened to me. I will not go into the details as to why this happened. Those who should know already do (I think), and those who want to know more may ask, but be prepared to be told that I am not ready to tell you yet.

So where does this leave me? Unfortunately, with alot of changes. As it stands right now, I am going to move to Calgary, unless I can find a better job elsewhere. I will live with my sister Tara until I can get back on my feet. Then, who knows. As soon as I am ready and able, I will get back into the dating scene. I have always wanted to be a good father and husband and to have a family of my own. I refuse to let this setback prevent me from acheiving that goal. I did everything I could the first time around, so I will learn from the experience and be more careful in the selection of my eternal companion. What will happen to me? As far as I can tell, only good things. I have done my best and I know that the Lord is not going to leave me out in the cold. I just have to keep my chin up and move forward.

Do I still love Jen? Of course. I always will. Do I want this divorce? Absolutely not. Am I having dificulty dealing with this? Yes I am. Is my life over? No, only a part of it. How am I doing now? Well, to put it simply, things have been better, but I seem to be over the worst part of it, and I am trying to get my life back around. I am devestated by this development, but devestation can be overcome. What are my goals? Well, aside from the finding work and a new wife, I am hoping to be able to acheive forgiveness, peace of mind, and a better understanding of what the Lord has in mind for me. Can I change this situation? Nope. The most frustrating thing about it is that I did everything I knew how to do, and I cannot change the decisions that others make. So I am moving on to bigger and better things, looking forward to the happiness that I know is in store for me and that I will find. I'm crawling through a dark tunnel, but things are going to improve. I am a good person who has demonstrated dedication and devotion, and I will be strengthened by this experience.

I have been doing alot of things to help me heal recently. I have several friends who have been extremely supportive. Many family members have stepped up and helped me out. Colleagues at work have been extremely supportive as well. While I hate being alone (except for Annie) at home, I know that there are several souls who have been placed in my life that to help me that are only a phone call away.

One thing that I am glad I did was take a couple of weeks off as a stress leave. I spent much of that time in Edmonton, Calgary, and Lethbridge, trying to reconnect and heal. I am not going to do a top 10 list on what I miss about Jen, or on what I think went wrong, or anything like that. What I will do is report on my stress leave as the Top 10 Things That Helped me Heal:

10. Going to a teacher's convention is Saskatoon with my colleagues.
9. Going to my old family ward in Sherwood Park with the Schwarzers.
8. Seeing Ironman with some friends from my U of A days.
7. A very positive job interview in Calgary with the FFCA High School.
6. Having Mother's Day dinner with the Lybberts.
5. Spending time with the family's of Dan Oler and Matt Harker.
4. Receiving a blessing from my father.
3. Visiting my mother's gravesite.
2. The birth of my neice Kaileigh and Dan and Mindy's new son, Bryan.
1. Attending the temple.

It's Been a Long Time

Today I did something I haven't done in over 8 years...I went to see the dentist. A few days ago, while eating some roast (another first for me; I cooked the roast that is), I chipped one of my back molars. Today, during my morning prep period, I went in and braced myself for hte worst. Lo and behold, I did not get a lecture! The dentist commented as to how surprised he was with the status of my teeth. He said they were in excellent condition and could understand why I hadn't been to the dentist for so long. He cleaned the teeth, froze part of my mouth, then gave me my first filling in almost 33 years (another impressive feat, in his opinion). So now my mouth is numb, and I can only chew on the right side of my mouth for a couple days. The doc told me I really only needed to see the dentist once every couple of years, and to just keep up with what I've been doing. My secret? Brush every morning. I know, I'm lucky I guess.

Top 10 Things To Not Put Off For Eight Years or More
10. Taxes...that reminds me, I have to finish them tonight.
9. Bathing
8. Changing your underwear
7. Cleaning the oven
6. Cleaning up Annie's...yard deposits
5. Changing the oil in the car
4. Smiling
3. Eating fruit and vegetables
2. Having your in-laws over for dinner
1. Telling your loved ones how much they mean to you

Happy Easter Everyone

It's Easter Monday, and I have just spent a good part of the day playing City of Heroes. I am at my sister's place in Calgary, and they have a much better internet connection than I do at home, so I have been making up for lost time. Still, I thought I better make a blog entry, just to let the cyberworld know how things are going.

I'm going through a bit of a rough spell right now. Life is trying to throw me several curve balls all at once, and it's hard to juggle them all. Most importantly, I am looking for work in Alberta. Saskatchewan is nice and all, but I am tired of life on the reserve, and Alberta is still home for me. I hate job hunting, but if I want out of my current situation, than I have to get going on the hunt. If anyone has any leads, I would really appreciate it (anything Edmonton area and south would be fine; small town would be preferable, but anything will do). Still, despite the hardships I am facing, I continue to hold fast to several anchors that keep me from drifting away.

I hope this entry finds everyone happy. to celebrate the season, I present: the Top 10 Ways to Celebrate Easter:

10. Play Killer Bunnies with the family (visit www.killerbunnies.com for more details)
9. Make rabbit stew for dinner (bua-ha-ha-ha-ha!)
8. Hide chocolate eggs for your neighboours, co-workers, or anyone else who is not expecting it.
7. Write in your blog
6. Watch a video or movie about the Savior (Passion of the Christ is good, or the Lamb of God)
5. Bring flowers to a loved one who is having a rough go of things.
4. A nice family dinner (my brother-in-law made a great ham and some amazing buns and potatoes)
3. Attend a temple session
2. Read the story of the first Easter in the scriptures (including the account in 3 Nephi)
1. go to church and partake of the sacrament

Cheers!

Happy Leap Year Day!

I thought I should write something for Feb 29, seeing as how it will not be around again for another 4 years. Not that I have a lot to say, just thought I should say something.

I am really hoping and praying that I will be able to find work back in the public system. I am hoping for Alberta, but I think this area of Saskatchewan would be OK for the time being. We'll see what happens. The job hunt is slow going for now, but it will soon get really busy, and I am sure I will be able to find something. If any of you know of any postings, please let me know.

Since I do not want to write too much today, I thought I would just cut to the Top 10 list. So I present to you...

...the Top 10 Things to do with a February 29

10. Re-write the dates that you wrote incorrectly thinking it was March 1.
9. Get caught up on the episodes of Lost you have missed (I have two to watch, so don't tell me what happened yet!)
8. Ask people who are born on Feb 29 how old they REALLY are ("What, you say it's your 40th, but isn't it really on your 10th?")
7. Enjoy a walk in the chilly February wind
6. Get caught up on your housework
5. Score keep at the local basketball tournament (that's what I'm doing)
4. Watch all 10 Star Trek movies (or all 3 Lord of the Rings, a season of Buffy, whatever turns your crank)
3. Sleep (I wish I could be doing that. I'm currently working on 3 hours of sleep with a possible stomach flu)
2. Volunteer at the local charity with your friends and loved ones (especially if you have those "community service" hours to work out. I'm sure they count double on Feb 29)
1. Write in your Blog about it being Feb 29. You do not need a reason, just do it!
1.

Cold...So Very Cold

Here we are in February, and the new semester has not yet started for me. Here in our neck of the woods, like so many other places in Canada it seems, we hit a deep freeze on Monday, hitting temperatures of -50 C with the wind chiil. It has been like this since, with it gradually getting warmer. We could have had school sooner, but sadly one of our students committed suicide earlier this week, and the school has been closed as a result. We are hoping to start up on Monday.

The week before that was actually more difficult for me. We had our final exams, plus a high school field trip to Edmonton to tour some colleges. That weekend, it was our home tournament. I was looking forward to a hectic yet fun week. I was right about the hectic. The fun part did not turn out like I had hoped. Oh well. that's life, right? Suffice it to say, the highlight was when my in-laws came to visit. Dave and Betty can really cheer me up, and even though we did not do that which we had planned, I am grateful for having been able to spend some time with them.

One bit of fallout from the week was my resigning as the assistant senior boys basketball coach. I was getting alot of heat from both students and others for things that I quite frankly had nothing to do with. I had to ask myself "Is it worth it to me to keep doing this stuff, giving up weekends and evenings for something that I do not like, nor do I feel appreciated for?" Final answer: it wasn't. Now I have my weekends free, and I can start doing the things that I really want to do, such as look for a new job. Yes, in case you did not know, my time at Thunderchild is coming close to the end (I hope). I have a lot of grievances about this place, but I still do enjoy myself here. I just feel strongly that the time to move on has arrived. Of course, it could still happen that I am stuck here for longer than I had hoped, but I think I will be able to find work somewhere else.

Well, I guess I should wrap this up. Here is my Top 10:

Top Ten Things to do to Keep Warm
10. Hot Chocolate
9. An extra blanket on the bed
8. Starting a fire in the toilet
7. Star Trek the Next Generation on DVD!
6. Wear three layers of PJ's to bed
5. Think unfreezing thoughts
4. Hot bath and a book (I'm going through RA Salvatore's Forgotten Realms again)
3. Turn on that stupid fireplace channel...oh wait, that's not warm. Buy the fireplace DVD and burn it (literally)
2. Having Annie lay down on top of you while on the couch
1. Move to Mexico

Starting off the New Year

I looked at my last blog, and much to my surprise, I noticed that a few people still read it from time to time. Thanks Heather and Draper! I just wish that there was a way for me to know how many times it had been viewed, otherwise I would have put more time into keeping it updated. Now it has been over two months since my last entry, and I feel like a schmuck because of it.

To be honest, part of the reason has been my new found addiction to Facebook, which has replaced TV as my biggest time waster. It's amazing how many people I have found (or even found me) through this thing. And I had first thought that it was a big waste of time. Well, it is, but I am enjoying it immensely.

Life on the reserve is going OK, but to be honest I am looking forward to finding work elsewhere for next year. The place is OK, and the staff is great, but I can't help but feel that this is not where I want to set down my roots. To most of the people at school, I tell them that the lack of a decent pension is my biggest reason to want to leave, and that is the truth, but I am also tired of the hoops it seems like I have to jump through to get things done the way I would like them to happen. Sometimes I feel that there are those higher above the school who think "If we ignore his complaints, eventually he'll stop bothering us". Added to that the fact that too many of my students take their education for granted, even more so than in other schools I have been in. It makes it discouraging. I still try to give my best effort, but I realize that my time here, as valuable of experience as it was, is coming close to its end. Let's hope I'll have an easier time finding work somewhere else. We are hoping for Alberta, but we'll see.

Jen had a great time in Edmonton and is on the right road to recovery. It will hopefully mean that she will be healthy enough to have a child this year, which is something we are hoping for more than anyone can imagine. Her personal trainers quickly became close to her, and because of this she is pushing for an Edmonton area job. I would like that allot, but I will also try for anywhere south of the Edmonton area.

It is almost 10:30, and I have school tomorrow. Loved the Christmas holidays, but hate going back to school. I really wish the school year started sooner so that at least the semester would be over before the holidays. Ah well. Here is today's Top 10 List.

Top 10 Favourite Things About 2007
10. Being able to get through the year without having to replace the car (I swear, the only reason I do not wash our Sundance is because the dirt is the only thing holding it together!)
9. Winning Teacher of the Year for last school year (voted on by the other teachers)
8. Surviving the July heat-wave!
7. NDP being voted out of the last provincial election in Saskatchewan!
6. Getting almost all of Stargate SG-1, all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the latest seasons released of Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, and Dinosaurs, plus two of the last three Star Trek Seasons I am missing on DVD (the last Trek season was purchased in December on Ebay, and arrived a few days ago, so technically it's 2008)
5. Reading the final Harry Potter book (if you haven't read it yet, WOW, what a story!)
4. Watching Transformers (twice!) on the big screen.
3. Spending Easter with all of Jen's family (and they came here for it too!)
2. Reconnecting with a myriad of people through Facebook.
1. The blessing Jen received in May from her former Stake President.

Happy New Year everyone!

Happy Halloween!

BOO!

Did I scare you?

Is anyone even reading this blog anymore?

Oh, well, at least I can say that I still read it.

Jen has been in Edmonton this past week, and will be there for the next 2 months or so in order to get herself healthy. She was taking some medication for her headaches and stomach infections that made it impossible to have kids. Since the drugs were not doing anyhting to cure the illnesses, we decided we would try to get her healthy by seeking help outside of the "traditional" medication routes. Sorry, but I am so tired of doctors that are always prescribing drugs as a quick solution. I realise that they have their place, but there needs to be a more balanced approach in the medicare industry, and that is what Jen is seeking. We are hopeful that this helps out alot.

In honor of today's holiday, I present:

The Top 10 Scariest Things I Can Imagine!
10. Rollerskating through a buffalo herd (the mess alone would be terrible)
9. A K-Fed concert (ouch, my ears!)
8. Teaching Grade 3 Phys. Ed.
7. Lorne Calvert's NDP winning a majority here in Sask on Nov 7 (knock on wood)
6. Finding out that Anne has mutated into a vicious killer and that I have to out her down (don't laugh, I had a nightmare about this)
5. Being here alone without City of Heroes, Muppets, Star Trek, or Jen to keep me sane
4. Learning that chocolate causes cancer
3. Christmas holidays are cancelled
2. CISN FM in Edmonton goes off the air
1. Jen never comes back! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!