Forgiveness or Madness

I sometimes wonder if the world is truly going mad. 

There have been some great changes in society recently. There have been an empowerment of those who have been oppressed. Children who have survived horrific school shootings are taking their story  with a conviction that I haven't seen in a long while. Women are standing up and putting men who have used a long-standing and toxic culture in their place. Yet, in spite of all of these gains, I fear that we are swinging into another extreme where those who are fighting for justice and equality are turning into shades of the old Salem witch hunters, turning innocents into evil-doers. I applaud those who make a tough stand, who sacrifice of themselves to bring into the light the dark things of this world in an attempt to make the world better and safer for our children and future generations, but at the same time I worry about the extremes that people are taking this charge. I am concerned that they are turning their fight against extremism to an extreme end.

There are some, I am convinced, that in their own way seek out controversy and outrage, even where none exists. It is as if they wake up in the morning, eager to discover how they will be offended this day. They have become so overly sensitive to the injustices of the world that they take offense at the most innocent of things. This past Halloween my eldest daughter Barbara (who is six years old) wanted to dress up as Moana, one of her favorite Disney characters of recent years. I asked her why she liked Moana so much. She told me that she liked how Moana was brave, intelligent, and saved the world. She also liked how Moana disobeyed her parents, but that's another story. So my wife bought her the costume from Costco. It included a dress and Moana's necklace. She did not wear a wig to cover her blond hair, nor she did not apply dark make-up to her very light skin. She wore the dress over a T-shirt and tights to keep her legs warm. She went to school and proudly told everyone that she was dressed as one of her favorite characters. That is innocent and sweet, and yet there are those who would decry her choice as cultural appropriation. They say that because my daughter is white, she should not dress up like her favorite Disney character who happens to not be white. They would be outrage that a six-year old girl would dare be inspired by a Polynesian princess to the point where she would (gasp) wear the same dress for Halloween. 

Don't get me wrong, I am firmly opposed to the improper, ignorant, and discriminatory appropriation of any culture. To wear religious or sacred garments of other groups in a way to attract attention is insensitive at best, and racist at worst. Thankfully, nobody at her school thought any less of Barbara for her choice of Halloween costume, yet there are those that would have raised a huge outcry over it. While that sort of unnecessary outrage was spared in Barbara's case, there are many other examples where people have made mistakes and are now feeling the full brunt of the Wrath of the Social Justice Warriors. Just this week famous actor Liam Neeson has found himself in the cross-hairs of these new-age witch hunters. Last week in an interview to promote his latest movie, he was asked about his inspiration for the character he played, a character that had a lot of rage and anger. Neeson recounted an experience from nearly 40 years ago. A close friend of his was raped by a black man, and he said for about a week he went around the area hoping to find a black person and kill him. He was full of rage and anger over what had happened to his friend. 

Now, if that was where he had left it, then I would understand the anger towards him. That is not the end of the story. He went on to say that after a week of this, he came to his senses, realized that what he was doing and thinking was wrong, and went about seeking help. He turned to a priest and close friends to help him change how he was feeling and thinking because he recognized that he was in the wrong. He felt regret and remorse then about his actions, and for some reason that part of his story is being lost to the ravenous virtual mob that are demanding his movies be boycotted. His new movie had its red carpet event cancelled because of it. This is a man who made a mistake, took deliberate steps to change himself and atone for that mistake, and as far as anyone can tell has led a much better life ever since then. Perhaps there is more to this story that I am missing, some details that can lead one to believe that he is still a racist, yet those details are also missing from those who have publicly crucified him on the crosses of social media. The demands for his proverbial head on a platter is pure and utter madness. 

I see this sort of attitude all around me. We are quick to judge and condemn others for making mistakes, and yet when it happens to us we beg for mercy and understanding. We see political opponents as the enemy and paint them as monsters, and yet when one from our own political camp is caught doing heinous and terrible things, we defend them and claim that there is a conspiracy in the works. I am not innocent of it myself. I have been wronged and have sought to color the tale of the injustices done to me to gain favor and sympathy. I am not proud of those moments, and I have tried to repair the damage that I have caused. I have jumped on these bandwagons, sometimes unknowingly, to try to persuade others to my way of thinking and voting. I was never successful. In fact, I learned that such attitudes and approaches of shaming others into siding with you often backfire.

Last year I wrote about forgiveness. I talked about how forgiveness is often done to help the person who was wronged to fully heal, and that it often has nothing to do with the person who caused the offense. There is another facet to forgiveness, one that we as a society need to be reminded of. Forgiveness can help the repentant move on as well, and if we withhold that forgiveness we cause harm of equal measure. In a perfect world nobody would ever cause harm to another, but our world has never been perfect. One of humanity's core pieces of identity is our imperfections. We lie, we steal, we hate, we harm. Our histories are full of tale after bloody tale of wars, genocides, and intolerance. We seem eager to fight those we disagree with for no better reason than to feed our sense of destructive pride. We verbally attack those who have demonstrated racism, sexism, homophobia, or any unjust attitude, and yet when one has expressed regret, remorse, and restitution for their past sins, we refuse them forgiveness. That, my friends, is true injustice.

I think of the truck driver who in April of last year ran a stop sign and killed and grievously injured over two dozen members of the Humboldt Broncos junior hockey team in Saskatchewan. His trial was quick as he entered a guilty plea. He has said that he entered the plea to spare the families of the victims having to relive the event. He has stated that he is broken over his mistake. He is not trying to seek a way out. He is facing up to ten years of jail time, and because he is an immigrant is likely to face deportation after his sentence has been served. The past couple weeks I have read the victim impact statements of the families and loved ones of those hurt and killed by this mans actions. Many of them have offered forgiveness to this man, hoping that he can still have a good and positive life. Others have said that they have not been able to find that forgiveness, but that they want to and are working towards it. I am touched by this scenario, even in the light of the tragic events that brought them to this place. The loved ones who are still grieving their huge loss are wanting the best for the man who caused their pain. It should also be noted that this man has plead guilty to a criminal offense, will likely serve time in prison, and due to his immigration status will almost assuredly be deported upon the completion of his sentence. He is not escaping the consequences of his actions, yet the families of his victims are desiring that he can lead a happy and positive life still. They are offering him a chance to move forward from a difficult situation, and this is happening while others demand blood and sacrifice from a person who long ago repented for acting in a matter that does fully square away with their inflated sense of social propriety. 

Why do some of us demand our pound of flesh from those who have made mistakes? How can we call ourselves enlightened or "woke" when we impede the healing of those who have done wrong and yet have repented of their sins? Are some of us that broken that we feel that the only healing we can find is in punishing the past wrong-doings of others? Are they so jaded that they have allowed themselves to believe in the lie that only by continually punishing someone for a decades-old wrong can justice truly be served? I realize that I am attempting to distance myself from them because I truly do not understand this way of thinking. Perhaps I have taken for granted the forgiveness that I have received at the hands of others. I just find it hard to see this perspective when the futility of it is all but crystal clear to me.

In the end, we are all faced with a choice. When one has erred and is seeking to set things right, we can do one of two things. We can choose to let go of our hatred and anger and allow them be forgiven
or we can withhold it from them and cause them to suffer. We can extend the olive branch of hope and healing, or we can slap them across the face to extract our revenge. We can help them along the path of redemption or we can construct barriers that impede their journey.

We can choose forgiveness or we can further descend into madness.