End of the Year

Well, my last post said it has been way to long since I wrote last. Well, here we are again. Sigh.

Quite a bit has happened. I was in the musical at school again this year. We did Cinderella (Roger & Hammerstein style). I had 20 seconds as Cinderella's father. It was a lot of fun. The kids, as usual, had a blast. Heather brought the girls to a dress rehearsal. Barbara had so much fun. She was playing Cinderella for a few days after. Zoo Lights is in full swing. A great time and we are close to breaking an attendance record.

The holidays this year have not been altogether pleasant. Almost everyone here has been sick at some point, and I am the latest casualty. Sadly we said good bye to Grandma Cahoon on the 23rd. She had been going downhill quickly for a week. The good part of this story is that everyone on Heather's side was able to come. There has been a family issue that was set aside for the time-being as well. Despite tragedies in life there are still good things that can come of them, I guess. It is nice to see people come together.

Christmas was good to us. Nice weather, good times with family, and I received a few good movies as gifts. I also liked the shirts that people bought for me, and Dad and Violet gave me a collectors coin from Australia with a platypus on it! As I get older I find that it is less about what I get and more about the events I experience. Watching Barbara and Hope with Santa Claus at the staff kids party or having dinner with family is what really means the most.

Looking back at 2014, I can say that it has not been the best of years. Losing both Heather's and my own last surviving grandparents and losing Annie has been difficult. While it is natural to focus on the negative, I choose instead to focus on the positive. My Top Ten for the last entry of 2014 is: Top Ten Surprises of 2014.
10. Jim Henson Creature Shop Challenge(Reality Show Surprise of the Year). I had caught most of the episodes that showcased the magic behind the puppetry and creature building of Jim Henson's legacy. I hope there will be a second season.

9. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Movie Surprise of the Year). I flew to Orlando this summer for a Kagan workshop, and this was the only movie the flight offered that was in the slightest bit appealing to me according to the write-up in the catalog. I was so pleasantly surprised to find such a delightful film. No, it is not my usual sci-fi special effects fare, but it had a great story, was funny, endearing, and something I could watch with the family without worry. I found it for under $7 at Walmart on Boxing Day. Definitely went for it.

8. Superhero TV (TV Surprise of the Year). I started watching a couple of TV shows this year with a common theme: super heroes. They are really good! The Flash is becoming one of my favourites (I am even interested in catching up on Arrow), and Gotham is quite interesting as well. Add to that Agents of Shield and being Super is cool again.

7. Sir Anthony Williams (Celebrity Highlight of the Year). Meeting Rene Auberjonois and Nana Visitor at Vulcan was coll, and the Comic Expo in Calgary introduced me to Felicia Day and Billy Boyd, but Anthony Williams takes the cake. The way he treated my nephew Connor and surprised him with a free autograph was a memory I hope to never forget. He was a truly gracious and charming individual.

6. Girl in a Country Song (Song Surprise of the Year). I will confess, I have fallen out of love with country music lately. Last year in particular I was frustrated that it seemed that all that they played on the radio was about guys going ape-crazy over the bodies of pretty girls and spend all their time partying. It's called "bro country" and it is not something I identify with. I missed the songs that spoke about real relationships. Then Maddie and Tae debuted their eventual first #1 single. It was perfect!


5. Imagine Dragons (CD Surprise of the Year). I had heard a few songs by this Utah-based band and decided to buy their album "Night Visions". I loved it. There were so many great songs on it. Yes, I am about a year behind on this album, but I'm almost 40, so forgive me. I'm not in the target demographic of pop culture anymore.


4.The Dark Legacy of Shannara (Book Surprise of the Year). I have been a fan of Terry Brooks and his Shannara series for over 30 years. Yes, there have been stretches where I stopped reading his books, but I started again this year with this trilogy. He took his writing and story telling to new levels. I am really looking forward to 2015 when his books become a TV series.

3. Toronto (City Surprise and Family Trip Highlight of the Year). When Grandma Andrews passed away I went with my father to Toronto to take care of things. I mostly went for moral support, but what happened was a great bonding experience for my Dad and I. He showed me so much of this city that he grew up in. We went to the high school he graduated from, his university, the house he grew up in, visited his life-long friend, and I was able to meet my uncles. We went to the Toronto Zoo, which was a lot of fun.

 

2. Multiple Intelligences (Career Highlight of the Year). My Kagan workshop was on tapping into the different ways that students are smart to help them learn. It continues to remind me how great Cooperative Learning Structures are so beneficial to my career. It has really helped my teaching practice.


1. Hope Kelly Andrews (The Highlight of the Year). Of course my second daughter will be my highlight of the year. Hope has such a bright personality and is the darling of our home. She smiles with her whole face, laughs with her whole body, and loves with her whole soul. So glad to have you, little Bookie-Dee!

Remember

It has been far too long since my last post. As with all things, the best way to restart something is to simply start anew.

A lot has happened in the last couple months. I figured out what caused the ads in my last post (thanks to Dayton for showing me how to fix it), so I am happy to have that little irritant out of the way. School goes along well with great news in the modernization of our building (can't say too much now, but it looks as if I will not have to make the long commute to work for a while). My Kagan MI strategies are going very well, and I am having a blast with my new classes. Barbara continues to grow and learn, and Hope is following close behind. My daughters are fulfilling a promise that I would have joy in my posterity, and in no way do I feel I have scratched the surface of that joy. Dustin is in Lethbridge attending college in a program that he is passionate for. Heather enjoys her stay-at-home status, and Dayton is learning about University life.

Calgary was hit hard last month by a freak snowstorm. The devastation to trees throughout the city was severe. Our two trees out front were spared as I knocked off as much snow as I could before leaving to work, but driving or walking through any part of the city showed how brutal the snow was. I have thought much about this occurrence and what meaning I could get out of it. I will likely work it into a talk in church, but for now a little snippet is to remember that we all bear heavy burdens at different times. If we ignore them, they accumulate and weigh us down to our breaking point. Knock the snow off as soon as you can. Get help in doing so if you need it.

Thanksgiving Sunday my grandmother (Dad's mom) passed away. She was a few days away from turning 91. I took the opportunity to fly out to Toronto with my father until the next Sunday. My main reason for going was that my dad has not had the best relationship with his parents and especially with his brothers. My dad made different choices than they did growing up, and it caused a lot of friction. Not knowing what state of mind my uncles were in, I wanted to be there for dad in case the worse case scenario greeted him. Thankfully it was the exact opposite. My uncles were quite respectful and appreciative of my father. It was the most pleasant surprise I could have asked for. This was my first visit to Toronto, so it was my first time meeting this side of the family. While I enjoyed that surprise and seeing the Toronto Zoo, I was most happy about the time I was able to spend with my father. There are few opportunities like this that come along, and it is important to take advantage of them as often as we can. It was so nice to see Toronto in the fall, but to see where my Dad grew up, went to high school, his university, etc., was by far the greater treasure. Something I will always strive to remember.

Sadly, this past week has given us something else to remember. I was wondering when terrorist attacks would finally hit Canadian soil, and this week it happened. Two separate incidents of individuals who were apparently radicalized by Islamic extremists attacked Canadian soldiers. In each incident one of our soldiers died. In each case we were left wondering what and why. Monday's incident occurred in Quebec and Wednesday's was in Ottawa at the War Memorial and the House of Commons. In that particular situation there was a gun battle in the halls of our parliamentary building. This summer seems to has woken a large part of me to the fact that many lessons that were so painful to learn a couple generations ago are being forgotten, and this week it was reiterated to me in full force with these attacks.

We are failing to remember that hatred knows no boundaries or borders. We are failing to remember that when an extremist group targets minorities for extermination we do not have the luxury to say "It does not concern us". Some will argue that Canada's involvement with anti-terror endeavors is bringing the wrath of these radicals upon us, that if we simply butt out of other countries business then we will be left alone. Some will say that by Canada agreeing to committing air strike forces in Iraq to combat ISIS that these recent attacks on our home soil is retaliation and that these two soldiers would be with us still had we decided to withhold our support. I am certain that there were similar arguments made about Hitler and Nazi Germany leading up to WWII. In the end, we must acknowledge that history shows us that when good people turn a blind eye to evil in the world that evil will only grow and fester until it envelopes us.

In light of these events, we must remember a great many things. The failure to remember these things will lead us to repeating some great mistakes. First and foremost, we must remember that the actions of these extremists do not represent the mainstream members of a particular religion or culture. To say that ISIS is an accurate representation of Islam is no different than saying that Christianity is accurately portrayed by the actions of the KKK. People have been taking snippets of religious doctrines and using them out of context to portray numerous religions falsely. When I think of Islam, I think of many students, their parents, their families, and see that they simply want the same things that I want for my family. They want a place to live, a fair wage for their work, and better life for their children. They want to worship God in their way. I do not see my friends who happen to be Muslim as "my Muslim friends", but as my friends. They show respect to my religion and only expect me to reciprocate.

We must remember that these extremists are not going to play by any rules except for one: win at all costs. We need to remember that in our response to their cowardly actions we walk a fine line. We do not want to tread on the rights and freedoms of others, but we also do not want to lay down be submissive. We must acknowledge that in defending ourselves we are going to have to roll our sleeves and get a little dirty. They will not respect our rules of engagement, It is a delicate balance between winning the war and keeping our morals. We can do this, but we must be careful and deliberate in our actions.

We must remember that what we say will have unforeseen effects on others. We must do what we can to reach out to those who are different from us. In all societies there will be those that find themselves on the fringes. A true test of a society lies in how it treats those on the fringes. I do not say this to excuse the actions of these home-grown terrorists, but instead ask us to reflect on how we can keep those who may be easily influenced on the side of friendship and goodness. We may never know what caused these two men to commit such acts, or if someone could have said or done something different to reach out to them, but we must be nicer to those around us and take nothing for granted. When such individuals make the choice to radicalize and kill innocents, they are held accountable for their crimes and should be dealt with swiftly and decisively, but I would hope that we could minimize those who choose the wrong by treating all better than we currently treat them.

Sadly, the pessimist in me feels that we will come united as a country for a week or two, that we will put aside political, religious, cultural, and personal differences aside, and then before too long resort back to our pettiness that has divided the world more profoundly than borders. The optimist in me hopes that we will find a way to overcome hate and evil, that we will rise above as a nation and emerge stronger, wiser, and united. The terrorists can throw whatever they want at us, and we will not be intimidated. I think whichever side will be proven right will be decided be factors outside my influence, but for myself I can choose what I will become. It was driven home to me Wednesday evening while I was waiting for the Prime Minister to address the nation. Barbara was singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" at the top of her lungs. I was about to tell her to stop singing so we could hear the TV, then thought better of it. I was not going to let these wackos and cowards shut down my daughter's goodness and innocence. I let her sing. I applauded her when she finished and asked her to sing it again. I hope I will always remember that lesson.

New School Year, New Look

Gonna make a quick post this month. This summer has flown by so quickly. As I was looking at my last post today, I noticed two things. First, I needed to change the background and style a bit. Freshen things up a bit. Hope you like the changes. Second thing was on my blog there were several key words that were serving as links to advertisements. I'm not sure if it's an issue with my computer (some sort of spy ware or something) or if it is a new feature with the blog site. I'm not a fan of this forced advertising, so I am seriously considering moving my blog to a new site. We'll see.

With a new school year I am very excited about my job. I had great training at a Kagan workshop this July and I am putting it into effect more than I ever had before. I feel rejuvenated as a teacher. My workshop was on multiple intelligences and how to reach and stretch them in my students. I love it. The key will be time. I find that with every school year I am reassessing my priorities to find the right balance in things. This year I have going to the gym without dropping the ball in anything else time wise (especially family related), so it's been a bit stressful, but t is stress that I am enjoying. The girls continue to grow. Hope is smiling more now and Barbara continues to get smarter (and more smart-alecky) every day. In fact, just the other day she had gotten her shirt dirty at dinner, so Heather took it off. Barbara then proceeded to use ketchup like finger paint all over her chest and belly. Funny and frustrating at the same time. The greatest thing about being a father is seeing your children smile, so it's not a big deal.

A quick Top Ten List to end the month. My Top Ten Favourite Animals!
10. Favourite pet - Dog. I love cats and don't pick sides in the dog vs. cat debates, but there is something to be said about the loyalty of man's best friend. (honorable mentions to cats and box tortoises)
9. Favourite Critter used for food - Rabbit. As a kid, I loved rabbits. I hated the thought of eating them. as an adult I have overcome that dislike and understand that rabbits can be tasty, but I still prefer to cuddle one.
8. Favourite reptile - Galapagos tortoise. These things can be ancient and they are really cool to look at. The kid in me wants to ride one for fun. (honorable mentions go to iguanas and sea turtles)
7. Favourite bird - Penguin. Cute little guys that are always wearing their best tuxedos, I can watch these guys for hours with Barbara when we go to the zoo. (honorable mentions to emus, snowy owls, and Big Bird)
6. Favourite Canadian animal - Whooping Crane. A true success story in animal conservation, these tall white birds are still rare. (honorable mention to sea otters, river otters, and moose)
5. Favourite sea animal - Blue whale. The largest animal on the planet, I have never seen one in real life, but their size alone fills me with wonder. (honorable mentions to humpback and beluga whales, manatees, and lobster. The last because they are so tasty!)
4. Favourite foreigner (non-North American animal) - Rhinos. Does not matter what species (white, Javan, black, etc), but I like these little tanks of the world. We just got one at the zoo here, and he is cool. (hats off to elephants, tigers, and hippos)
3. Favourite primate - Gibbons. The the smallest of the apes, gibbons seems a bit clumsy with arms so proportionately long, but watch the swing through the trees and they take on a grace and elegance. They make cool sounds too. (shout out to gorillas and spider monkeys)
2. Favourite at the zoo - Okapi. Such a mysterious and wondrous animal. When in the area I intentionally seek out zoos that have them.
1. Favourite overall - Platypus. Proof the God has a sense of humor, this egg-laying mammal of action has poisoned spurs, a duck bill, and is as cute as it is odd. No wonder I identify so well with it.

True Communication

Last night I woke up around 1:30 after having a fun dream. The last few days I have been fighting a really bad viral infection so a combination of Nyquil and Tylenol Cold probably contributed to this dream. For some odd reason my thoughts on the dream jumped to something completely different, which is the topic of my blog today. Sorry, I won't tell you the details of the dream because I cannot fathom the connection between what I was dreaming about and an essential part of communication that I find lacking more and more each day.

I'll be honest with you, a lot of what I am talking about here has been brewing in my mind for quite a while. I have noticed that in today's world we have so many ways of communicating right at our finger tips. Right now I am writing a blog that, if lucky, several individuals (maybe even ten!) will read. I did a quick count and found that there are six devices that I own that I can obtain news information from (everything from a Samsung smart phone to an old school car radio, which for you youngsters was the original I-Pod). I can find thousands of reports on any given news story in seconds. OK, it's really only about a dozen different reports, just re-posted and shared or even plain old ripped off a thousand times over, but the point is the information is out there. I can chat with my step brother all the way over in Australia, either through instant messaging or Skype. I have friends via Facebook that I have never laid physical eyes on and yet have found a bond with them over any number of values. Yet with all of this technological ability to communicate, I fear that we as a global society are losing one of the most important elements in proper communication. We are losing our ability to listen.

The Meriam-Webster Online dictionary (because traditional physical paper dictionaries are for chumps) defines the word "listen" as "to pay attention to someone or something in order to hear what is being said, sung, played, etc.". Note how that is more than simply hearing what is being said. I teach biology, and every class I have students that I can scientifically prove are "hearing" what I am saying but are not actually listening. They need to pay attention in order to hear and understand what is being said. We look around the world around us and we see groups of people that are locked in endless shouting matches, thinking if they can just out shout the other side that they will have more people listening to them. Whether it is opposing political leaders or protest groups, there is nothing but shouting and no listening.

Digital communication must be better, right? I mean with nobody actually yelling (unless they use ALL CAPS) everyone can get there point across and be able to "listen" to what they read. Well, not so much. Just read any comment section to any article or video and again you will see groups of people yelling at each other on their keyboards, and likely saying some truly awful things that they would never willingly say out loud in public. People will jump to their keyboards (or is it keypads now?) and quickly tap out in 140 characters or less their support/disdain on a topic and hit send. They will try to come up with the most blistering attacks and insults because that is how you win an argument these days (who needs facts and logic when calling someone an expletive bonehead will score you more thumbs up). It is sad because so few of us are truly listening these days to what is being said. We focus on getting our message out to the cyber-verse that we seldom pause to consider what is being said.

I wrote a post a couple years back showing my frustration over internet trolls. You know, those people who specifically scour the internet looking for somewhere to make inflammatory comments to get people riled up and angry. They hide behind their anonymity with the sole (soulless?) intent on making people upset. Definitely not listening. Yet how many times have we (and yes, I include myself in this) typed out a cutting response, hit enter, and then forget about what we have said. Do we ever look at what we are responding to and ask ourselves how this remark will affect the other person? Do we even ask ourselves why the person is saying what they are saying? Are we trying to understand what is being said before we respond or are we looking to make what we say "right"? Are we looking for justification, vindication, or just the response that will get other faceless entities hitting the "Like" button the most.

I say this because I have noticed that as more an more polarizing debates are popping up on my Facebook and Twitter feeds more and more people I thought I knew are showing that they simply do not care about true communication. Whether it is federal or provincial politics, Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life, the debates over everything from global warming to same-sex marriage laws, and more recently the current crisis in the war between Hamas and Israel people are throwing out their stands, platforms, and bias as if that is the only way to communicate. It does not take long for these things to boil over into personal, hateful attacks that damage relationships. I have started to un-follow and even un-friend some individuals because I am tired of all the negativity. I do not see the value in having the Facebook Ranters clog up my news feed. I see teachers, doctors, lawyers, parents, children, politicians, sales clerks, gardeners, mechanics, etc. all stoop to pettiness because someone else has a different opinion. I have read too many "I'm sorry if this offends you but..." to believe that they are truly sorry for the offense. I have heard too many people justify themselves with disclosures such as "I am only telling it like it is". I don't have a problem with people telling it like it is, but is it too much to ask that you tell it like it is in a polite way?

As I mentioned before, yes, I find myself in these categories from time to time. I am sure that a few Facebook friends have ditched me because of some things I have shared online. Of course, when such friendships are only maintained through casual mouse clicking, is that really a friendship lost? A true friend is one who will listen to you (aha, the magic word of the day again!). A true friend will use true tolerance when they disagree with you. A true friend will give you much more than simple platitudes, they will tell you things that you may find hard to hear to help you listen to more than just yourself. When I have friends who are asking me to support either side in the current Gaza conflict, will they listen to me when I tell them why I can or cannot support their side? Will they listen to each other? Will you who read this listen to what I have to say? Will it change how you listen to others? As I say, I only have a few people who read this, but maybe it can be the start of a ball rolling.

Happiest Birthday

Well, it's 5:45 on the first day of my last year of my 30s. As usual, I can't sleep in, so I thought I would write a quick blog update.

Barbara had a great birthday yesterday. We had breakfast at McDonalds, then I went to work. Coming home we had dinner, went to the temple where we ate cupcakes on the grounds (I think the temple is one of Barbara's favorite places to go), and then opened presents. She loved it but did not want to go to bed.

Today is grad day. I will be saying goodbye to a good group of kids. There are a more than a few have impacted my life in special ways, and like each year I will moss them. This morning I was thinking about birthdays. The question often is asked "Which was your favorite birthday?". While birthdays with Heather and the girls are always great, and birthdays as a kid growing up with my family are up there, there is one birthday that just edges them all out. That happened in 2008.

It was my last few days in Thunderchild. It was also the day of graduation. I had been alone (except for Annie) for just over two months. My first wife was long gone and reality was sinking in. So there I was, at the lowest point in my life, wondering what to do for my birthday when I really didn't want to move forward with anything. I was not in the mood to celebrate anything, let alone getting older, so I decided I would not celebrate.

I woke up and made breakfast. My dad called to wish me a happy birthday and that was the only phone call I received that day. I let the machine get all the other calls. I kept the computer off so I would not read any emails or Facebook posts that might be birthday related. I went to the school and started asking people what they needed help with. One of the teachers asked if I would want to collect some willow branches for the three students who were graduating (yes, that is my record, three students at a grad ceremony). He suggested that as part of this ritual I should think about these three young men as I prepared the branches for the ceremony. These were three good, upstanding young men and I was happy yo provide this service to them. I continued helping other teachers organize for grad and get ready for the summer. I packed a few things up in my room so I could vacate it (I was moving to Calgary in a couple weeks). At the grad ceremony I was asked to give the toast to the students, which was indeed an honor for me. At the end of the day I went home with only one colleague discovering that today was my birthday.

So why was this the best birthday? It was because the only gift I received was one of the most precious ones. I received a sense of peace, of hope, and of fulfillment. I learned that the best and truest way to make one happy lies not in what others do for you, but in what you do for others. When you serve others without any thought about what you will receive in return you will feel amazing. It brought me out of deep dark hole and allowed me to enjoy the sunlight. It is still something that I feel strongly these several years later.

I do not share this story to say "Look at me! Didn't I do something amazing?". In fact I debated whether or not to share this story at all because I did not want to have people think that I am some sort of wisdom guru. This is something that I had been taught all of my life by parents, teachers, and others who are far wiser than myself. no, instead I post this to offer up a challenge. I challenge you to make a birthday where you do not receive any presents, have a party, or even let people know it's your birthday. Instead, use that day to only serve others. Make it about them. I can assure you that it will be one of the best days of your life.

Hope, Mom, and Why I'm a Trekkie

Well, there is hope in my life, or should I say "Hope" in my life. On May 6th at 1:22 am in the Foothills hospital, Hope Kelly Andrews was born. She came quickly. Heather's water broke at only 10 pm, and within an hour of arriving at the hospital out came our new little girl. This birth felt different for me, likely due to a combination of being the second time instead of the first, it happening so quickly, and having to coordinate things with Barbara as well. Incidentally Barbara loves her little sister. I hope (Hope? Yup, there will be a lifetime of Hope puns) that continues as they grow older. Heather is doing great and is once again showing me how strong she is and how caring and nurturing a person she has always been.

May has become yet again an important month for me. Yesterday we had an open house for Hope. Many great friends and family and came to say hi. I always enjoy opening my home to company and it was no different this time around. It was nice to see almost twenty friends and family take a few moments out of their busy Saturday to say hi and hold a little Hope in their arms (yeah, definitely a lifetime of puns). In the evening, Heather mentioned that she came across a journal of mine with an entry from May 24, 2001. It was the day my mother passed away. I had to stop for a moment because for the first time that date slipped my mind. I will always remember that day and that it happened in May, but I honestly had forgotten to mark the event mentally until Heather reminded me. I'm not certain how I feel about this. I do not expect that my mother would want me to fixate on her passing every year at this time. For the first few years it was so, but that was more of the healing process then anything else. Usually I would remember her, say a quick prayer about her, and continue on with the rest of the day. Not this year. Has the wound of her passing finally healed? Do I want it to be fully healed? I still miss her, and I am grateful to have my eldest daughter named after her, but is it right that I had forgotten about the day? I cannot answer those questions. I do not know if this is a failing on my part or not. I have felt the loss of loved ones since, but she is and likely will be the keenest felt loss. I can only imagine Heather or one of my little girls hitting me harder.

Don't get me wrong, I am not spending countless hours at night mulling this through my mind. I just make note of it, process it, resolve what I can, and leave the rest for another time when my understanding becomes more apparent. In no way do I love my mother less. I indeed think of her on an almost daily basis, especially watching her granddaughters grow. I guess I am leaning towards the idea that I no longer feel that I "have" to remember the day my mother passed to honour her memory. Instead, I continue to live my life in a way that honours her memory. I remember the day one of her former students came by to visit us. It really impacted me to see that decades after being in her classroom this lady still felt a connection to my mother. I believe that is one of the reasons why I have tried to establish connections with all of my students. I also cannot forget that it was my mother who taught me to love Star Trek. Yup, it's all her fault. I'll expand on this more (as it is in the title), but I always found it fitting that they evening before she died she watched the series finale of Star Trek Voyager. The crew that she had faithfully watched for seven years finally made it home, and that night she was called home.

So, why Star Trek? Well, in addition to May 23 being Voyager's finale, it was also the 20th anniversary of the final episode of The Next Generation. I have always loved this franchise, and again, my mother is to thank for that. I have many people try to debate with me the reasons why Trek is so wonderful and my favourite, but it is not about the quality of the shows (although they are high quality indeed) or even the message of hope for the future. My reasons are much more personal. Star Trek was a family tradition. Every week while TNG and DS9 were on the air we would gather together in the family room. Creation Entertainment would run conventions in Edmonton twice a year during the heyday, and often the family would go. T.J. took the whole family on a Trek Cruise during my mission as a Make-A -Wish event.  Since Mom passed away my family has become a bit more fractured. T.J.'s passing added to that as well. Despite efforts on many people's parts, I really only feel close to my father (and Vi) and Tara. Life and different choices have put distance between the rest and myself, and try as I may I have not been able to bridge those distances. So when I miss the members of my family who I have not seen in a long time and nothing else is able to help, there are several DVDs I can pop into the machine and help me remember some fond memories.

So, in honour of TNG's finale, I present my Top Ten Favourite TNG episodes. However, an occasion like this cannot be marked like this without the honorable mentions. For this list, I went through the list of entire episodes and identified any that I thought could make the cut. Two part episodes are counted as one. The honorable mentions (in order of broadcast) are: Skin of Evil, Sarek, Brothers, Qpid, Darmok, Disaster, I Borg, Rascals, Tapestry, Face of the Enemy, Starship Mine, Descent, and Genesis. Now, the tougher part was deciding on the Top Ten's order. Here is what I have:
10. Conspiracy - This was a neat little first season episode. I am not a fan of gratuitous violence, but I have to say watching a guy's head explode on TV was cool. I really wish they had followed this up in later seasons.
9. Lower Decks - After ranking a first season episode, it seems fitting to have a final season episode next. The TNG episodes often revolved around the senior officers (understandably so), and they often brought in reoccurring characters such as Barclay, Ogawa, O'Brien, etc. to round out how the ship was really a ship of over 1000 people. Lower Decks to me was an episode about the little guys. It tied in a few story lines from earlier episodes but showed what I think most of fans would have loved to experience: being a part of the crew.
8. The Measure of a Man - From Season 2 this episode, in my eyes, showed the first real strength in using great story telling and character development while at the same time providing social commentary. Powerful performances from Brent Spiner, Patrick Stewart, and Johnathon Frakes helped push this episode to the #8 spot.
7. Unification - Not only do we get another great performance from Mark Leonard as Sarek, but we finally get to see Leonard Nimoy reprise his monumental role of Spock on TNG. This was a highly anticipated two-part story that sadly aired just after the death of Trek creator Gene Roddenberry (both episodes were dedicated to him) but also weeks before Star Trek VI, and provided a great hype for the new film. Throw in Sela (Denise Crosby) and a Data-Spock tag team and you have a whole lot of fun.
6. Relics - Always a fan favourite, Relics returns James Doohan as Scotty to the Trek world. For me this episode is great not just because of the connections made between TNG and the Original series but because the central TNG character was my favourite Geordi La Forge, the blind chief engineer, who sadly was rarely the main focus of any episode. Yes, it made sense that Geordi and Scotty would team up, but it is nice to see that they did so in a great way.
5. The Inner Light - OK, it's getting tough now. A lot of fans may start to cry foul that this timeless classic episode only made it #5 and not the Top 3, but I have my reasons for ranking others higher. Suffice it to say even if you are not a Trek fan, this episode is one that almost anyone can enjoy. Again, it shows how great Trek can be when the focus on telling good stories. The special effects and cool moments all take a back seat to a good story and this episode shows that such effects are not necessary.
4. Yesterday's Enterprise - One of the best time-travel/alternate universe stories that brought back my beloved Denise Crosby back as Tasha Yar. Now, I mentioned in the last one that special effects are not necessary when you have a great story, but this episode had both and were used effectively. I also like the foundations that were set for future stories, from minor things such as Worf drinking prune juice to big surprises such as the blond half-human Romulan Sela. I wish they could have shown more of how the Enterprise D crew met their fates during the final battle (apparently they were supposed to kill Wesley and Data), but it is exciting.
3. The Best of Both Worlds - I don't care about who shot JR or Mr. Burns, or who survived the terrorist attack in Dynasty, or even the Season 3 finale of LOST, this is THE BEST season cliffhanger of all time. Great development. The only thing that keeps it from higher was the slightly weaker part 2.
2. All Good Things - Definitely the best series finale in not only Trek history but in almost all of TV. It bookends the series with beauty and logic, reuniting old fan favorites like Tomalak, O'Brien, Yar, and of course, Q. I always wished that they would have done a movie with Q, but if this is as close as they will ever get, then I am satisfied with it. The end scene with the poker game is brilliantly executed and is a nice way to lead us into the TNG movies.
1. The Offspring - I can already hear fellow Trekkies questioning this choice of Data creating a daughter being #1 so let me explain. This is MY favourite list. I readily admit that if I were to rank the best episodes I would place it lower (but still top ten). What gives it the top spot for me is two things. First, there is a line that Data gives as he expresses to his daughter Lal about why he strives to be human when he will never accomplish the goal. He says that it is the journey that one makes that is important, not the actual destination. As a young man it struck a cord with me that resonates to this day. The second is the love a father has for his child. As I grew older and became a father, this episode has come to mean a great deal more to me and cements itself at the top spot.

Hello Little One

Well, the last couple nights Heather has been having contractions or Braxton Hicks (which sounds like a runner-up on American Idol), so I guess the new addition is not too far off. Again, like in March, I might as well get a jump on this month's post before the baby arrives and chaos ensues.

That I mind the chaos. It is a lot of fun, actually, and it puts my life in better perspective. Just as I began this entry, my beloved wife and darling little daughter were dancing in circles right in front of me. At this moment they are in Barbara's new room reading funny stories. Yes, Barbara is in a Big Girl bed. She has been moved into Dustin's old room (he moved downstairs) and is definitely not a baby anymore. The chaos involved in having children can be hectic and frazzling, but it is definitely full of grand rewards. The smiles and laughter are evident, but there is something else about being "Daddy" that is just as rewarding. Last night, or more accurately at 3:30 this morning, I was jolted awake by my little girl's crying. She had woken up in the dark, reached out to the lamp beside her bed, and promptly fell out. She was more scared than hurt, but her screams were definitely heard. I made it to her side in about three seconds, and had her in my arms where she snuggled in close and cried and wailed. This is not the first time I have come running to her rescue at night. There have been some nightmares and times when she was just afraid of the dark. Each time Daddy was there to hold her and comfort her, and while I was not happy that she was upset, I was happy that she could find safety and warmth in my arms.

Why is it that such moments are so precious to me? I have thought long and hard about this as we prepare for the new little miracle to arrive. Whenever a new child arrives in the family I suppose that it is only natural for the parents to look back on their past experiences to help them make better choices in raising the new one, and at the same time know that nothing will ever be like the other times. I'm not saying that I messed up royally with Barbara, but instead I look to what I did well and see what I can duplicate to close to the same relationship with this child. I have hopes and dreams for all of my children, and one that is foremost is that they will always know they can find love and acceptance in my arms. True, as with all children there will be times when I disapprove of their choices, but that will not change my desire to always be there for them. It is this drive to always have my arms represent comfort and strength, joy and security to my children that governs much of my parenting. Again, I wonder why that is.

It is obvious to me that my parents are a big influence. I know that from the time I was born until the day that she passed that my mother would have moved heaven and hell to protect, love, and bless me. I have missed her so much these last 13 years, and want to provide her grandchildren with all that she tried to provide for me. In her arms I found warmth strength. My father, while in his own special way, has been no different in how I have felt about him. Some say that fathers and sons can more easily clash, and we did not always see eye to eye on everything, but in the end I knew where I stood with him. My parents often worried about my future (I sometimes overheard their conversations pertaining to such things), but I always felt supported. Whenever the hard, challenging, and scary parts of life came knocking at my door, they could always be counted on. I suppose a part of me wants to pay their love forward and by doing so honor what they have done for me in the process.

Some of the more cynical view would argue that my desire is rooted in a selfish desire to bring meaning and worth to my life. I would be lying if I said that parenthood does not reap such rewards for me, but I would hardly call parenting selfish. Like most things there are different elements of parenting that appeal to some and not to others. Very rarely do I see good, thoughtful, and intentional parenting as being "selfish". Sacrifice makes the rewards that much sweeter, and what is wrong with finding meaning and worth in life anyways? Why is it selfish to have joy in raising a family? Those that have argued this would say that making themselves good people, successful in every aspect of their lives is a great way of bringing such feelings of fulfillment. I personally believe that making something positive of your life, regardless of how you do it, is worthy. I just feel that being a good parent is one of the most wonderful ways to do this.

So while Heather walks around the bedroom sighing and wishing that this bundle of joy will come quickly, I look forward to greeting my new progeny (This is not meant to contrast my wife and I. She has earned every sigh, moan, and expression of fatigue over these last nine months). I look forward to how the new child will fit into the family.

For my Top Ten List, I'll go in a different direction. Because today is May 4th (Star Wars Days), I give you my Top Ten Favourite Star Wars Moments/Characters.

10. Busting Han Solo out of Jabba's palace. The whole opening plot line in Return of the Jedi was just plain awesome.
9. Chewbacca. Everyone's favourite wookie. As a kid I loved that giant walking carpet.
8. Ewoks. When I saw them on the big screen as a kid, I had no problem with the fact that the Empire was overthrown by walking teddy bears. As a kid who was constantly picked on it was nice to see the little guy save the day.
7. Pod race from Episode I. One of the few really good moments in the first movie. Lots of excitement.
6. Anthony Daniels. He is the actor who plays C-3PO in all 6 movies. I met him last week at the Comic Expo. He was great. When he found out that my nephew Connor could not afford his autograph he gave one to him free of charge.
5. "Luke. I am your father". One of the biggest movie surprises and plot twists of all time!
4. Luke Skywalker. Sure, many see him as bratty in IV, but he grew up and became one that I felt the most akin to.
3. The Cantina band song. To this day I can't help but tap my toes along with the beat.
2. Vader's redemption. Darth Vader was the baddest bad guy in cinema, and he was able to turn from the dark side and be redeemed. There is hope for us all.
1. Yoda. The green guru, the wisest of the wise, Yoda was Da Man!. He had the best lines and in Episode II showed he could kick serious butt.

One last little surprise. One of my favourite YouTube channels is How It Should Have Ended. Here is one of my favourites.

Pushing On

So this Spring Break is going down as one of the least enjoyable. We said a sad good-bye to our beloved Annie just over a week ago. It still hurts. The house seems a bit more empty with her passing. She went so peacefully and quickly. My sister, Tara, was the vet who administered the dose. She and her staff at Calgary North Veterinary Hospital were wonderful and understanding. We had Annie cremated at the Humane Society. I found her at an animal shelter so it made sense to me have her end at one. Again, the staff I dealt with were very compassionate. Heather and Barbara were with me the whole time, except for a bit before I left her to be cremated. I had a moment to speak to her and say my peace. In the days following I have found that simple things evoke strong emotions. Finding small clumps of her hair in the carpet, putting away her food dish, a touching statue a friend gave us over a year ago, even looking at where she would look out the front window and watch the world pass by can warm my heart and weeping like a small child. Her loss has hit me much more profoundly than I had anticipated. I am glad we waited until Spring Break to allow me to grieve without the responsibilities of work hanging overhead. So for now I move on and remember the good times. I do not fight the tears, but find the appropriate place to shed them. I think that not only do tears cleanse the body but also the soul.

It was unfortunate that only Annie's passing seemed to go according to schedule. After coming home from the humane society I became afflicted with a bad cold that has laid me out almost every day since. That squashed our plans on a weekend trip to Edmonton. Today was the best I have felt (physically) the whole break, and instead of going this weekend we thought that staying in Calgary will be enough. I want to be as healthy as possible when I go back to work this Monday. I hope that this Friday we will be able to have a really good, fun-filled day. I need it. My beloved wife, entering her last weeks of this pregnancy, has been supremely supportive of me. Barbara has developed a sweet side that has her wiping Daddy's tears even though she does not understand why he is crying. I have had many good friends, mostly through Facebook, come and provide support as well. So I push on, and look forward to seeing my colleagues and students on Monday.

Before my Top 10 list, a video that a former principal and good friend shared with me.

Top 10 Things I Miss Most About Annie

10. Her hair all over the house. Yes, she was a shedder (too bad she was not Irish, then she could be an Irish Shedder!). I know others in my household are feeling relief over not having to vacuum as much, but I would gladly have Annie back even if I had to vacuum every day.

9. Her sneaking up onto the couch. Everyone else did not want her to, but I was OK with it. She had as much of a right as every person in the family does.

8. Cleaning up Barbara's discarded food. Those who are happy about the lack of vacuuming know the trade off now.

7. Taking walks. She loved it when I grabbed her leash. I forget the countless hours we spent roaming the areas where we lived. I could even take her without the leash because she would always come when called.

6. Chocolate hound. Who doesn't love sneaking a chocolate here and there. Annie sure did. Her last night I gave her some of the last of the Belgian chocolates I was given for Christmas.

5. How she greeted everyone who visited. She was loud, barking, and friendly. Our way of saying "Welcome to our home."

4. Her TV enthusiasm. She would love to watch TV and bark and jump whenever there were other animals on. I even remember her getting so excited once that she chased a dog that ran off of the screen into the next room thinking that it had run off in there. It was always entertaining for company to see.

3. Barbara's love for her first dog. Annie didn't take well to Barbara at first, but Barbie sure loved Annie. Annie was very patient and protective, even if she found the toddler to be annoying. I find it an unfortunate blessing that Barbara will not likely miss Annie the same way. I will try to help her remember the old girl

2. Coming home. I could always count on Annie to come to greet me whenever I came home. She was always happy to see me.

1. She always wanted to get love and affection, and return it all without judgement or prejudice. She was such a dog that way. Perfect.

Puppy Love

I thought I would write this blog now, because if I wait until after the dreaded event then I might not be able to keep my thoughts and emotions straight. What I want to do with this blog is pay tribute to one of the most trusted, loyal, loving, and cherished souls that I have ever encountered in this life before this soul is gone. I am referring to my beloved Annie.

Let me begin by saying that she is not sick or dying (at least not that I know of), but she is very old. This last winter has been very hard on her. She has slowed down a lot and is showing her age. Basically, the day is coming where she will move on to the next life. Some who read this may not know this about me, but I believe that animals, humans included, have a spirit that moves on after this life is done. This gives me some comfort, but does not cause me any sort of anticipation other than the dreadful kind as I realize that Annie has far fewer days ahead than behind. I have had a difficult few weeks as her condition becomes more real to me.

Let me give you the history. When I lived in Weyburn, Saskatchewan, I was married to someone else who, among many things, was a dog lover. She had brought with us her aged canine, Shelby, who was herself quite elderly. If my memory serves me correctly she was about 13 when we arrived in Weyburn. Shelby was well trained in almost every way. My wife wanted to have another dog for Shelby to play with, so she went to the local humane society where she found Annie. Originally the shelter called her "Addie". We were told she was a bit of an escape artist, which is still true to this day, but that she had a heart of gold (also true today). I was introduced to her, and felt that she would be good for the family. First order of business was to rename her. "Addie" was a bit awkward for me, but "Annie" seemed the perfect fit. The first night she spent with us was tough on Annie. She was friendly enough, but was a bit unsure of herself in her new surroundings. She had been found on the street, and for all I knew had spent all of her life there. I sensed in her a need for security, so at night I took her into my bed and allowed her to snuggle up beside me. She calmed down quickly and fell asleep. A bond was formed that night, and very soon it was apparent that Annie decided she would be my dog.

We were never quite sure how old Annie was when she came to us. She was young, but pretty much fully grown, so my best guess would have been at least a year old, likely closer to two. She lived up to her reputation as an escape artist, but would always come running when I called her. For having lived on the streets for most of her life, she quickly became a house dog. She loved to run and play outside, exploring the world and stalking neoghbourhood critters, but she would always be ready to come back and stay where her humans were. When we would leave to visit Alberta and wanted to leave the dogs behind, we left them with some good friends who lived on a farm outside of town. Annie was given the opportunity to have free reign of their place, but rarely spent more than about 15 minutes outside before she was whimpering at the door, wanting to be with people. She also had a love of other animals. Sometimes that love was in the vein of cuddling up, as with kittens, and sometimes it was of the "I love to chase them and eat them", as it was with squirrels. I imagined that the squirrels in our back yard were at war with our dogs, and Annie was relentless. She also loved watching animals on TV. It took her a while to realize that when a dog on TV ran out of the screen it did not jump into the next room, but we could count on her being glued to the TV whenever a nature show or a pet food commercial came on. It was great fun watching her jump and bark at monkeys and ducks that were selling us cereal and insurance.

Annie did have a few issues when she arrived. She would chew things up when she was nervous. We lost a couch, a few pillows, and our wedding quilt to her chewing. She did not kennel very easily, and my wife at the time hated making Annie do things that she did not like. Many times we would come home and find things torn apart and scattered all over the house. She also had not been properly house trained, so we had more than a few messes to clean up. We bought mats that the guy at the pet store promised were designed to be irresistible to a dog who needed to empty their bladder or colon. We came home to find that she had shredded the mat and then pooped everywhere but the mat. I started to consider finding a new home for her (I think it was when she tore up three $20 bills left on the table), but in all honesty it was more frustration because I could not let her go. I learned that by showing her disapproval was the most effective way of helping her overcome her bad habits. When Daddy was disappointed, she knew it, and felt horrible for that. She has not gone in the house for a long time and only chews stuff up if she thinks there is a treat in it.

The end of my five year stint in Saskatchewan began with my wife leaving me. I have touched on this in other posts, but I will say that the only thing I was willing to fight tooth and nail for was Annie. Everything else could have gone up in smoke, but I needed my dear friend at my side if I was going to get over all of this. When I moved into Tara's basement the bond between Annie and I intensified. Many nights were spent with me crying, and Annie would push her nose under my arm for a cuddle to help us both feel better. Through the 10+ years that I had Annie she got me through every trial I faced. Yes, others got me through them as well, but this is a post about Annie, so let's give her the props she deserves. She never judged me, was always happy to see me, and stayed loyal to me when others would not. Nobody has ever shown that kind of devotion because only a dog is capable of it.

When Heather and the boys came into the picture, Annie took an instant liking to them. I think she knew that our two families were going to be joined together. Yes, there was adjustment. People could not leave chocolate lying around, because Annie would get it. She sheds and vacuuming became more common. Annie still sneaks up onto the couch whenever she can, and yes she knows she is "not allowed" to, but I don't care. She still barks her head off whenever company comes, but she sees herself as the protector. Barbara was a bit of a put-off to Annie, but she would still put herself between Barbara and the door just in case. Barbara of course loves Annie, and Annie is finding that now that Barbara drops food on the floor for her, she isn't all that bad after all. Annie was welcomed into the family likely better than I was because she just loves everyone unconditionally.

So I watch her now, much more grey than black and white, and my heart breaks a little. It feels unfair sometimes that our pets generally die long before we do. I wish I could have Annie with me forever, and in a way I will, but I wish most of all to never forget her. Annie will not be the first pet I have lost. Many childhood memories are filled with the love of pet cats, dogs, rabbits, and even a duck or two. I will miss Annie as much as I miss Snoopy, Tasha 1 and Tasha 2, Odo and Quark, Tasselhoff, and others. I will probably miss her just a little bit more. I won't be running out to get another dog right away, but there will be more pets in my future I am sure. For now, I hug Annie a little more, help her up the stairs when she needs it, and brace myself for the sad day that feels ever so close. I hope she makes it through this winter, but doubt she will make it through the next.

Thank you Annie for giving me joy and being my dog.

Update: March 24, 2014. On this day, I take Annie to the vet (Tara, actually) to bid my final farewell to this loyal and trusted companion. Every boy deserves a faithful dog, and Annie was one of this man's Best Friends. Rest well my dear, say Hi to anyone I know you encounter, and know that you are special to me. I love you. Goodbye.

Friendship

There are all sorts of friends out there. Best friends, casual friends, soul mates, kindred spirits, buddies, blokes, even Facebook friends. Some friends come, some go, some stay with you long after they are gone. There are many theories on how to make, earn, and keep friends. There are many songs and poems written on the subject. The support of a friend can be the one difference maker during a crisis. The let down of a friend can be among the most painful of hurts. The love of a friend can make a dark world seem bright as day, while the betrayal of a friend can devastate one beyond consolation. Epictetus said "In prosperity it is very easy to find a friend; in adversity, nothing is so difficult." Samuel Johnson wisely stated f a man does not make new acquaintances as he passes through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair." A Nigerian proverb advises to "Hold a true friend with both hands", while an Assyrian proverb says "Tell me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are".

I have been fortunate with friends. I have not always had many, but the ones that I do have are precious to me. My best friend in elementary school was a kid by the name of Mark Miller. I remember him initially as the kid that stayed in at recess to eat glue. Maybe that was why he stuck with me when the bullying started. In high school, I was lucky to have a couple close friends from church: Matt Harker and Dan Oler, who are still good friends today. Their wives have also become trusted friends to me. I am truly lucky to see many of my family members, including my parents, become friends. There are several at church and work who are friends, and others that have come in and out of my life over the years that have been great friends. Of course, my best friend would be my beloved Heather, and I hope that Barbara and Kid #2 will also develop into friendships as they get older.

I know that all friendships change over time. Sometimes people drift apart. Sometimes the friendship was only on the surface, and that was fine for what it was. There are times when people move into different phases of their lives, and many of the friends do not move on with them. Circumstances change, contact becomes infrequent, and absence makes the heart fonder. Despite this, when those connections become reestablished, the friendship picks up where it left off, with many stories to exchange in the name of catching up. It is important to work at maintaining friendships, but keep in mind that change is natural and relationships of any kind evolve.

It is this thought of friendship that causes me to reflect on one unexpected and very rewarding friendship that has grown over the last few years. Five years ago I started full time teaching science at FFCA High School. Many of the staff members there quickly came to mean a great deal to me as they were welcoming and supportive. I have had great relationships with many of them during those five years, but there is one that I wish to touch on today. A few weeks into my tenure, I was heading to the parking lot for the drive home when this teacher in the English department introduced herself to me. We talked for several minutes, and for some strange reason I felt like going into the whole reason for my coming to Calgary. It amazed me that I was so comfortable talking to her about this. It became apparent that we had much in common. Over the next few months and into the next few years, I came to value the friendship of one Pamela Hunnisett.

Pam, or Hunni as I call her, is a rare individual indeed. Over the last five years I have learned what great gifts and talents she has. She is one of those people who will listen to anybody's point of view. She may not share it, but she will validate it with you. She gives great advice and exudes a wisdom that is sound and refreshing. She has a heart of gold and the mouth of a sailor. She loves her students as if they were her own, and many of them think of her as "Mom". This allows her to be able to say things to them that may be hard to hear from other teachers, but because it comes from her they are more receptive to the feedback. She is even more devoted to her own family. She is a sought after expert on the use of blogs in teaching and has made several presentations on the matter. She is a favourite teacher of many students (and even among teachers). She has many passions, including reading, drama, and creative writing. It was Hunni that helped me on the road to confronting, processing, and finally healing the experiences of my youth that I have carried with me for many years. It was Hunni that saw a place for me in the One Act program of our school. It was Hunni that suggested that I play the part of Chef Louis in this year's production of the Little Mermaid. She is an anchor to me in this world. In one week she will leave for a six month leave in Argentina. I will miss her during that time. I will miss popping by at the end of the day to chat or watch her in action as she helps students become better writers. I will the moments when she gets to spend some time with Barbara (mutual adoration with those two). So much I will miss, but I know how valuable this time will be for her, so I will be content that it will only be for six months (you hear that Hunni? ONLY 6 MONTHS!)

So, in her honor, and since she is such a fan of my sweet little Barbie, I give you the Top Ten list of Cute Things Barbara Has Said in the Past Ten Days (or so):

10. "Star Wars Colors!". One of her new favorite books.
9. "Bye bye. See you later!" She says this to practically everyone when they leave the house, room, etc.
8. "Yummy!" said everytime she has blueberries, toast and jam, and chocolate.
7. "No no no no no no". Her response to the questions "What does Mommy/Daddy/Dustin/Dayton say?"
6. "Blah blah dah dah HI!" is what she says when she reads the book "Effie the Ant" to herself.
5. "Oooo, tasty!" Said tonight when I gave her potatoes.
4. "Big!" (said loudly and deep) "Little! (said softly and high pitched). This is her reading the Star Trek Book of Opposites when we get to the page that has "big" and "little" on it.
3. "Manamana. Doo doo doo doo". Yup, watching Muppet Show with her is paying off.
2. "Night night sleep!". She says this when she curls herself up on big giraffe pillow. It is usually accompanied by fake snoring sounds.
1. When I asked her what different animals say, she is pretty good. A week ago, however, I asked her what a frog says, instead of her usual "Rib-bit" she says "YAY!". Yup, watching those Muppet Show episodes with her is definitely paying off.