Turning 40 is not that big of a deal for me, but to many others it is. Some see it as a turning point or a milestone, as if this is where any tendrils of our past youth slip away for good. Many see this age as when we start looking at life with fewer years ahead of us than behind us. I personally feel no more special. I feel older physically than when I was 30. I'm slower than I used to be, but thanks to having been working out these last couple years I have felt like I am in much better shape than I ever have been. I feel wiser from experiences I have had, but still feel that I have a lot to learn and much I do not understand. I am statistically half-way through my life, but I feel that I have so much to do and experience that I am excited about growing older. In all honesty, I do not see this age as being any different than most others.
I have been a bit more reflective lately. As I look back on the last 40 years, I marvel at what I have seen and done. I have been to four different countries, I have witnessed the fall of Communism in Eastern Europe and the fall of the World Trade Center Towers on 9-11. I have lived through 8 Prime Ministers and a couple recessions. I have seen many predictable things happen (prices go up) and many surprises (NDP government in Alberta). I have seen VHS reign over Beta, only to be replaced by DVD. I have seen electric cars, smart phones, and green energy. I have been to Vegas and Disney World, to Castles in France that date back centuries and some of the newest buildings in New York City. I have watched Mother Nature become more turbulent and wreak havoc through fires, floods, and tornadoes. I have seen the miracle of life in the births of my daughters, and felt the sting of death as I have said good-bye to friends, students, mentors, grandparents, a brother, and my dear angel mother. I have gazed at the heavens at the beauty of the Northern Lights, and cast my tears upon the ground at the betrayal of those who had committed to me. I have loved, lost, and loved again. I have lost it all and found that I have gained so much more later. I can testify to both the best and worst of humanity. I have overcome obstacles I thought too large to surmount, and been brought low by simple things. I may not be famous in any notable way, but I have left my mark on those around me. I would hope that for almost all of those times it has been a positive influence that I have exerted.
I am realizing that which I have always suspected with respect to that which comes with age. As a youth I often marveled at what those who were older knew. I was eager to learn at their feet. As I have educated myself in this matter, I feel a bit of sadness. So many lessons that were learned through bitter experience in previous generation are being forgotten. People are losing focus on what is really important. I lament the fact that the average size of a house has increased while the average size of a family is shrinking. I miss the days when neighbours knew everyone in the neighbourhood. I find it ironic that the more connected our technology makes us, the less we connect with each other. Text messages and emails replace phone calls because it's more "efficient". I am also concerned with the level of civility that we show others. Gone are the days where we seek to find common ground. Now it's more important to get the best zinger in. Hatred runs more rampant than ever in my lifetime. We divide ourselves on so many fronts (religion, gender, politics, culture, education, economic status, etc.) that it is of little wonder why so many of us feel alone. Intolerance and racism are still alive and well, no matter what courts rule or who is elected. When one group that has been persecuted gains a reprisal, another group is then targeted and often by the one just persecuted.
And yet with all of the pessimism I see in the world, I remain hopeful. Despite all the bad I see in the world, I have joy in my heart most days. There are things I know, not just believe, but know, that allow this seemingly paradoxical view. This knowledge began as belief, was built on faith, and grown into a surety. I know that there is good at the heart of most people, we just sometimes get confused as to what that good is. I know that I have a wife who is dedicated to me. I know that this life is not a one-time deal, but that there is something after. I know there is a God who looks over us and loves us. This gives me much hope. I feel that our world is in for a rough and tumble time ahead, but we are a hardy bunch who can shake it off. I believe that we have progressed in many ways, and we will continue in that general direction. Things might get worse for a while, but I do believe that they will ultimately get better.
Top 10 Time - Top Ten Things I Look Forward to in the Next 40 Years
10. More Kagan! I want more training, and I am not giving up my desire to become a Kagan Trainer.
9. More Trek! A new movie next year, possibly a new series in the future, and definitely at least one more Vegas convention.
8. More Teaching! I love my job. Even when I have the class here and there (like I did this year) that makes me doubt, I still feel the fire and passion.
7. More Barbara and Hope! My children are the greatest adventure I have yet found.
6. More Descendants! Must admit I look forward to grandchildren
5. More Travel! Still got to see more of Europe and Australia.
4. More Experiences With Nature! Yup, I still intend to see a live platypus in person. Maybe even touch one.
3. More Dreams! I have begun writing down some of the more interesting ones in a journal.
2. More Friendship! Still amazed at the types of people I have been friends with. 40 more years can only bring more.
1. More Love! Honestly, the best part of the last 40 years happened 6 years ago when I met Heather. Hoping that all of the next 40 will have her by my side (and I am not just saying that because she is looking over my shoulder right now as I type).
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