God's Tender Mercies Can Be Found

 On September 28, 2025 was a tough day for me. I woke up that morning, turned on my phone, and started to catch up on the news of the day. To my sadness I learned that Russell M. Nelson, the prophet of my church, had passed away. It was a calming sadness, as he was 101 years old and his passing was a reality that I had been expecting for a few years now. Still, he was the prophet during a time in which the world was in the most chaos that I had ever seen in my lifetime. During the pandemic I had gained much comfort and strength from his leadership and words of wisdom. I was going to miss his kind demeanor and ever-encouraging guidance to do better, be better, and act better. 

What I was not prepared for was to learn that in the morning a man drove his truck into the chapel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Grand Blanc Michigan. He started shooting and set the building on fire. In the end, four members of the ward were dead from either gunshot wounds or smoke inhalation, eight more were injured, and the gunman had been killed by police. The community was in shock. My Church was in shock. I was in shock. It was yet another mass shooting in a long list of mass shootings in the United States of America, and this one hit close to home.

I understand that when a tragedy like this most descent people will feel sorrow and loss. When it happens to people that you share something with, it hits with a stronger punch. Whether your connection is due to ethnicity, faith, employment, and political leanings, the pain feels sharper when you can see yourself and people you know in the lives of the victims. I hope you can understand that this attack hit me more keenly than previous mass shootings and acts of violence, all of which I find abhorrent. I have never understood how a person could allow such hate to grow within themselves that they would use such violent means to end the lives of people simply because of how they are identified. This includes more than religious affiliation, but ethnicity, culture, political affiliation, and other means of identifying oneself. Sunday I was in simple shock. Monday it began to feel quite real to me. That feeling stayed with me the entire week, although it lessened each day.

When events of this nature occur I cannot help but reflect upon how we got here. Was it extreme polarization? Was it the gun-cherishing culture that is prevalent in the US? Decreasing importance placed on the family, on civility, on forgiveness? More "us versus them" mentality? Mental health crisis? Why do these things continue to happen? It seems that the more advanced we become, the more we should as a society understand that this sort of behavior is not the answer to what ails us, yet it seems as if more and more people feel that using violence as a means to get what you want is an acceptable practice. I know that it isn't, but others feel that they have no choice in the matter. Might means right for them. Now that people of my faith have been targeted, I feel understandably afraid. 

Since this incident hit closer to home, I feel more resolved to analyze the situation. In the past, such as with school shootings, I would look at the circumstances with as open of a mind, seeking truth and understanding. I intentionally do not mention the names of those who committed the violent acts, not wanting to risk granting them any fame or attention. This time, however, I took a different approach. having just lost our beloved prophet the night before, I kept hearing his words that have come to mean so much to me. There was one lesson that he taught us that quickly moved to the front of my thoughts: blessed are the peacemakers. Being a peacemaker is a choice. Choosing to seek healing for myself and others is a choice. I wondered how I could be a peacemaker in a situation as difficult as this. As the week progressed, I found my answer.

I started reading stories related to this shooting, and within these stories I found the tender mercies of our loving Heavenly Father. They were everywhere. People have wondered where God was when bad things happen. In researching these stories, I saw where God was. He was with the people. He was with His children. He was there influencing others to provide support to those who were negatively affected by this event. The more I looked, the more I found evidence of His love, primarily in the influences over the actions of others. He did not "make" anybody do anything, but he provided the nudges that we needed.

I saw His tender mercies in the direction church leaders gave months prior, to have congregations go over procedures on how to respond in these situations. Local law enforcement officers noted that the casualty list could have been much higher, and credited the actions that church members took to evacuate the building as quickly as possible. I saw His tender mercies in the quick and timely manner in which first responders arrived on the scene, contained the situation, removed the threat, and tended to the wounded. I saw His tender mercies in the courage of these individuals who ran towards the danger to protect others.

I saw His tender mercies in a group of nurses who were striking at a nearby hospital. Upon hearing the news of the tragedy they left the picket lines and went straight to the scene to use their skills in helping tend to the wounded. I saw His tender mercies in the actions of the doctors, nurses, and other staff members at the hospitals that the wounded were brought to. How they worked frantically to save as many lives and they possibly could, and how they wept for the one they couldn't. 

I saw His tender mercies in the actions of members of that ward who did what they could to save lives. Two members happened to be emergency room doctors. They ran into the burning building again and again, bringing out as many as they could find. Both had to be admitted to hospital for treatments: one for smoke inhalation, the other for being shot. The latter also had one of his young daughters shot as well. Both of these men, and the girl, survived. One of those who died did so trying to protect the life of another person there. Other members were reported as helping as many people out as they could, some shielding children with their own bodies.

I saw His tender mercies when the daughters of one of the men killed at the church made eye contact with the gunman. She reported seeing into his soul, seeing his pain, seeing that he was "lost". Right there, at that exact moment, not sure if he was going to kill her or not, she forgave him in her heart. The gunman let her live. Her story prompted her sister to forgive the man who killed their father at his place of worship. I saw his tender mercies as the bishop of that ward make a public statement the day after. He spoke of healing, love, hope, and gratitude. Never once did he mention revenge or show hatred. Pain, yes, but hatred, never. The President of that stake released a public statement echoing much of the same. I saw His tender mercies as one of His apostles, David A Bednar, arrived to offer comfort and counsel directly to the members who were there. I saw His tender mercies in the outpouring of support, comfort, and love from people of all faiths, all cultures, all types. 

I saw His tender mercies in the words spoken in defense of those of our faith by people of other faiths. Sadly, there were some voices out there that felt that members of my church did not deserve sympathy because we were "not Christian". Some felt the need to express sorrow, but remind everyone, again, that we are "not Christian" in their eyes. Thankfully, there were far more who raised their voices in our defense, calling out others for their cruelty and very un-Christian approach. They would say that now is not the time for such rhetoric, that they should be demonstrating true Christianity by treating members of my church in a truly Christ-like manner. I saw His tender mercies in the actions of other churches in the community. The River Church held a prayer service one week after the shooting. The St. Christopher's Episcopal Church offered the members of the ward to use their building for their worshipping. In situations as tragic as this, the true Christians show themselves. 

I saw His tender mercies in the numerous Go-Fund-Me pages for the families of the victims. How people from around the world gave their hard-earned money to ease the burdens of the families most directly affected. In particular, one member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints set up a Go-Fund-Me page for what was a surprising recipient: the family of the man who committed these heinous acts. Hundreds of thousands of dollars is going to his wife and child, the latter having severe challenges of his own. People have reached out to the parents of the gunman, not with anger, but with love, sympathy, and forgiveness. While others are calling out a battle cry to defend Christianity, the true Christians are rallying behind all the victims, including the family of the man responsible for all of this. Ever since the daughter of one of the slain shared her experience publicly, announcing to the world that she had forgiven the man who killed her father, I noticed a change in how people talked about this man. He was no longer being described as a monster, but as a troubled man who did the unspeakable. It did not change the horrific things that he did, but people began to see him in a different light. The sister of the woman offering public forgiveness also found it in her heart to forgive the man that had slain her father. Forgiveness has become a key talking point with this story, and people are feeling the healing power that comes with it. 

Personally, I saw His tender mercies in the people around me. I posted on Facebook a few of my thoughts concerning the situation. I mentioned how the 28th was a tough day for members of my faith. Thankfully, the next day was a PD day, no classes or students. It was also the day that these events started hitting home. Sunday was a day to be in shock. Monday was the day for my emotions to catch up. I had a brief conversation with a friend at the school, and although she was not aware of what happened, she was gracious and supportive. I then had three different colleagues take me aside to personally check in with me, to make sure that I was doing OK. I cannot fully express the immense gratitude that I have for those individuals. I was reminded how blessed I am to work where I do and associate with such good people. I felt His tender mercies as I prayed for comfort, understanding, and for healing of the victims. I felt them as I sought to forgive the gunman and see him as a child of God. I felt them as I poured out my soul to me Heavenly Father, and the warming comfort of the Holy Spirit surrounded me with powerful healing.

The tender mercies of Jesus often come through the goodness and actions of others. They come through the quiet whisperings of the Holy Ghost to our spirits. They come in the quiet of the evening, and they come as you seek peace in a loud and busy world. So yes, I am horrified by what happened. I am distraught over the death, the destruction, and the violence. Yet, in spite of all of that, this experience has brought me closer to me Heavenly Father and to my Savior. What was different in this situation was more than it was about people I closely identify with, but that I actively sought out to see His tender mercies. They were mercies extended the those who had been hurt, those who lost loved ones, those who were shocked by the violence, and people of empathy and compassion. They were extended to the families of the victims and the killer alike, because we are all His children. He will always be there to extend those tender mercies, whether we look for them or not. 

I would suggest looking for them. You will be amazed at what you see. 

We All Killed Him

On September 10, 2025, a right-wing social media influencer named Charlie Kirk was murdered at an event he was supposed to speak at in Utah. He was 31 years old. Left behind a wife and children. The 22 year-old man who is accused of his murder is in custody. No official release on his motive as of yet. Of course, that has not stopped countless people from throwing their own theories out there. This killing has caused a lot of anger and outrage, shock and surprise, disbelief and horror. People are reeling from this. I, however, am not shocked by this. 

Let me clarify. I am saddened by his death. I honestly knew little other than he was a Trump supporter and liked to go to universities and debate people. As I have read up on what he stood for, I do not think I missed anything by not being influenced by him. While I respect his desire for free speech and debate, his personal viewpoints do not align with my own in a particularly meaningful way. I don't think I would have wanted to hang out with him. I am suspicious of his involvement in the January 6 insurrection attempt of 2021. He has called people who have violently attacked Democrats and their families as "patriots". These disagreements with him have no cause for me to want or celebrate his disgusting murder. When I say that political violence is vile, I mean it across the political spectrum. He did not deserve this in any way, shape, or form. 

But am I shocked or surprised by this? No. Not at all. I may be surprised by who exactly was murdered, but in the current US political landscape, I am not surprised that people are being killed for political reasons. Since the 2020 election there have been at least 15 major events of political violence in America. Six of them have happened this year alone. In June, State Representative Melissa Hortman and her husband were killed in their own home in Minnesota. She was a Democrat. A fellow Democrat lawmaker and his wife were also shot in that state on the day by the same man. There have been so many comments and posts that I have read that express a desire for violence against political opponents that I am not one bit surprised by this. 

What am I feeling about all of this? Disappointment. Resigned disappointment. My disappointment stems from the increasing number of people who are advocating for more violence. It stems from those who have made claims on the motive for Kirk's killing without any evidence. I have read theories from the Democrats organizing the assassination to Trump's team choosing to kill him to make him into a martyr. Some have said that the guy was even farther to the right than Kirk, and that is why he killed him. I have read comments from opponents of Kirk that claimed he just got what he deserved, that he intentionally stoked the fires and because of this he simply received that which he had advocated against others. I have read comments from the right that all Democrats are guilty and need to be arrested and/or shot on sight. People are claiming that there is no olive branch to extend, no mercy to be shown the other side, and no way that they are going to stand with their political opponents in this. 

This is what truly sickens me. Forget coming together during a crisis. It's time for payback. It's time for more blood to be spilt until ones enemies have been wiped from the face of the Earth.

It's sentiments like this that have caused me to feel that yes, it is more than just the one gunman that is responsible for the death of Charlie Kirk. 

The truth, as I see it, is this: we all killed him.

We killed him when we throw out phrases about executing political opponents. We killed him when we casually call the guy we didn't vote for a traitor. We killed him when we fly flags or carry posters that read "F*** (insert person you won't vote for here)". We killed him when we say that all citizens who do not vote the way we do are communists, fascists, losers, idiots, racists, bigots, terrorists, etc. We killed him when we refuse to speak to people who disagree with us. We killed him when we cut off family members from our lives because they supported the "other party". We killed him when we hold our political opponents to one standard yet look the other way when our guy does the same thing or worse. We killed him when we decided that sensible gun laws were an attack on liberty. We killed him when we spread lies about others. We killed him when we demonize people who are different from us. We killed him when arguing and insults was mistaken for acceptable public discourse. We killed him when we yell out "But what about the other guy?" when someone points out the bad things your candidate did. We killed him when we turned "debates" from an exchange of ideas to a "win at all costs" moment. We killed him when we cry out for vengeance when someone on our political side is hurt but shrug our shoulders and show little sympathy when it's someone from the other team. We killed him when we preach that we should love one another, but conveniently forget that truth when it comes to the political arena. We killed him when we send death threats to politicians and volunteers. We killed him when we see a post on social media that a friend makes supporting someone you do not and then comment derogatory statements in an attempt to show "the other side". We killed him when we loudly talk smack about a certain political party or person in a public setting, thinking that everyone around you is in agreement, but unbeknownst to you there are those who silently suffer the insults because they no longer feel welcome. We killed him when we allowed hatred for our political opponents to take root in our souls and allowed it to grow. We killed him when we set aside doing the right thing for a false sense that we are in the right. We are all guilty. 

For a long time I have felt that there is nothing that I can do about the violent turmoil that has gripped the world in which I find myself in. As I type this I wonder if my voice has any impact. I feel like I am standing on the shore, yelling into the wind of an oncoming storm of hatred. I do not fear that as things continue to deteriorate I will get knocked down when I stand for what I sincerely believe is truth, but I do fear that a day may come when I decide to not get back up again.

So since I cannot change the world, I will do what I can to change myself. I will forgive myself for the mistakes I have made in this matter. I will strive harder to stay optimistic and to be a peacemaker. I will choose to love those around me. I will still stand against things in government that I believe are wrong. I will still speak out against the wicked in defense of truth and virtue. I will do better and be better. And if the battle rages about me becomes so intense that I can no longer see if anyone stands with me, I will stand for as long as I am able. I will do my best to be perfect in this, but I suspect there is high likelihood that I will stumble and fail from time to time. When I do, I will learn, repent, and resolve to do better. I will allow God to prevail in my life. I will forgive as quickly as I can. 

But if you ask me if I think Charlie Kirk will be the last to die at the hands of hatred, my answer is simple. No. He will not be the last. The momentum seems to be too strong, so unless many, many more join me in this, there will be more. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a week or a month or even a year, but there will be more. I have faith in God that His will be done. I have faith in Christ that His sacrifice will help me heal. I have faith that the Sun will rise tomorrow and that the platypus will always be the coolest critter there is for me. I no longer have faith that things will get much better in the direction we are headed. I do not have faith in people much anymore. I would love to be proven wrong.

Please, prove me wrong.

 

A Sign of Life

So it has been almost five years since I last posted. A lot has happened, of course, but just in case the two people who followed this blog were wondering, no, I am not dead. To be honest, in order to look after my mental health, I allowed myself to drop several balls that I had been juggling. One of them was blogging. Not that the blogs were being bad for me, I just found other things were a higher priority, so the blogging stopped and I did not feel too bad about it. At the end of the day, I am OK with that. 

I think it is important that we look after ourselves overall; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They are all connected, so I do my best to balance them all. It is challenging at times, but I have improved a lot in my efforts (and I have the brain scans to prove it!). 

Today is just a quick update as to how things are right now and what I have been up to. 

School/Work - July of 2020 saw a part of the school building be condemned. This necessitated a split of the high school into a north and south campus. I stayed north while many cherished colleagues and students went south. I was able to witness the construction of the new building, which we were allowed to move into Spring 2024. The building is great! I am grateful to finally be in a proper, state of the art building. Sadly, the split between campuses became permanent, and it happened out of the blue. Still a bit upset about that, but I choose to move forward and make the best of it. Our student population is growing, and with that comes new staff. In almost every case they are proving to be great additions. 

Church - Shortly after my last entry I was called to be a counsellor in the bishopric. I stayed in that calling for a little over a year. I was then called as Elders Quorum instructor and Assistant Ward Clerk. A few weeks ago I was extended a new calling, but I have not yet been able to announce it. My favorite church-related thing was an assignment for Heather and I to be "parents" to a group of stake youth on a camp last summer called "My Quest". We had 14 youth, a few of whom we already knew, but all of them became dear to us quickly.

Family - Heather and I are quickly approaching our 15th Anniversary. The last few years have been tough, but we remain strong together. The girls are growing up. Barbara is in Grade 7 and Hope is in Grade 5. Dustin married his boyfriend of several years, Andrew, and they live in Devon. Dayton and his girlfriend, Kallie, bought a house and are doing well. Dayton is a nurse now, and Dustin continues to design beautiful homes. We sadly lost Grandma Violet a couple years ago. She and Dad were visiting in Australia. Her passing was very unexpected, but the family have tried to rally around each other. Dad had a couple of minor strokes last spring, but he has bounced back nicely.

World - Sad to say that global conditions seem to be at a tipping point these days. Russia invaded Ukraine 3 years ago and they have been at war ever since. October 7 2023 saw the Palestinian organization Hamas attack Israel, and there has been a brutal war in the Gaza ever since. Hundreds of thousands of civilian lives have been lost in these wars. Donald Trump lost the election in 2020. He proceeded to tell lies that caused thousands of his supporters attack the capital January 6, 2021. The US has been divided ever since. It is like there is a second civil war being fought with words. Each side refuses to see the other side as human beings. Trump was convicted of several felony charges, but somehow America elected him last November. I don't understand it. The man is a liar, a felon, and spit on the Constitution of the United States of America with his deceitfulness, and yet Americans still elected him. 

The hardest part in all of this is seeing how good people are justifying their support, but he is quickly eroding decency in society. He has allowed an unelected billionaire to gut the government programs, firing thousands of people, mainly because they do not support him. He is threatening unfair tariffs on us and other close allies. He has repeatedly suggested that the US annex Canada. He is blaming Ukraine for their war with Russia and having peace talks with Russia only. Suffice it to say, he is the greatest threat to all that is good and free in the world right now. 

Thankfully, there is hope. I am trying to find it, but I know it is there. I know that horrible things are coming in what we sometimes call "the last days", but I know that there will be peace, and all that was wrong will be set right. I just hope that the people I love and care about will be spared much of the pain. For me, I will just stay close to the Lord, listen to his servants the prophets, and trust in Him.