Let me provide some of you a bit of an education on the place, as it might help you understand what I learned. A buffalo jump is a cliff in the prairies that our indigenous people would use to secure a large amount of food in a short time. They would chase huge herds of buffalo off the cliff so they could then gather enough food to last them through the winters. Head-Smashed-In is located just outside of Fort MacLeod, in southern Alberta. It is a historical heritage site that teaches visitors about the buffalo jump and the Blackfoot people who used it.
 |
| Photo courtesy of Kevin Andrews |
Yesterday, Heather and I took the girls and my brother Kevin to go and visit the site. The place is beautiful, with the interpretive center built into the cliff side. After spending some time out on the jump, we went inside and started looking at some of the displays. A video was playing on a loop that took various aspects of the natural environment and how the Blackfoot people were affected by these. They spoke of the buffalo, the sun, water, and other components. The girls were drawn to it, so I sat with them and watched. As they spoke about fire and wind, something occurred to me. In the video it talked about how the wind and fire often caused problems for the Blackfoot. The fire would destroy their campsites and sometimes claim their lives. The wind could make hunting the buffalo difficult as if the wind changed direction, the animal's keen sense of smell could detect their approach. As the video continued it went on to explain that although the Blackfoot people struggled against these natural forces, they learned that the fire and wind brought a lot of good things for them. The grasses that were burned by the fire would grow back, greener than before. The wind brought the rains that they needed on a dry prairie. The people learned to use these forces to help them thrive in this region.
There was my unexpected "AHA!" moment. It occurred to me that in life, there are different ways that we deal with the hardships that we encounter. Some of us hide from hardships. We do everything we can to avoid them. Others find themselves in difficult times and completely withdraw within ourselves. We let our heads hang low, often with some audible moaning and complaints, and just wait it out. I saw in my own life times where I was both of these types of people. I would lock myself in my room and lose myself in something else, hoping that the hardship would go away. I would sometimes see a challenge before me, and look for a way to not have to face the challenge in the first place. Too many times my life was a pity party as I trudged through the storm that blew around me.
Then there are those of us who accept the challenges and learn to see the benefit of them. They look to use it as an opportunity to grow and improve upon themselves. They lose their job, so they take the opportunity to re-educate themselves. I have seen how some with financial hardships use it to teach their children how to life a more frugal life. I have witnessed those struck by an illness as a reason to do things that they didn't have time to do before. I have had others show me how to take a broken relationship and turn it into something to shape themselves into someone better. Before long they take their hardship and turn it into a tool that not only improves their own life but the lives of those around them.
I don't imply that these people see a hardship and run head first into it. It's not like they wake up one day hoping to get fired from the job they love or become involved in a car accident. They do not necessarily love the hardship, but instead welcome the lesson that they are about to learn. I look back on my own life and I can honestly say that I am not thankful to have experienced a divorce or the deaths of beloved family members. I am not grateful to have been let go from various jobs over time, nor to have been sick when I would have rather been healthy. I am grateful for the man that I have become because of these hardships. I am thankful that I chose to improve myself under these conditions so that I can be better suited to help others. While I did not enjoy the difficult times, I know that I would be a much lesser man if I had not experienced them.
I also don't want to suggest that we actively seek out some types of hardships. I will not suggest people smoke just so they can experience cancer, or drink heavily so they can face the consequences of liver damage. I do not recommend that you marry someone with the intent of going through a divorce because it "builds character". I am instead talking about the trials that we find ourselves in. Sometimes we could have avoided it, and while it is easy to beat ourselves up over it, we should learn from our mistakes so that we can avoid them in the future. When the hardships of life that we cannot avoid hit us, we should move forward and do our best at growing from the experience.
Just like the fire, our trials can often result in something better growing from its ashes. Just like the wind, our difficulties can bring something that is greatly missing in our lives. We can discover so many great things that come out of hardship. Think of the all the "greats" in the world. Not a single one of them had a life that was free of difficulty. In fact, it is often the case that the greater the success story, the more challenging the life was. All of the greatest authors had their work rejected. All of the greatest athletes lost in the beginning. All the greatest minds had ideas fall apart. All the greatest leaders faced adversity. People are not happier because they avoided hardships, but because they thrived during them.
So let me leave you with a few tips that I have learned about how to avoid hardships. First, don't go through them alone. Strength is not shown in standing in solitude, but instead in standing with others. You can make a single pencil out of the strongest of materials, but you can still snap it in half. When the pencil is put in a bundle of others, together they become unbreakable. Look to your family and your friends for support. Ask for help instead of just wishing it would come.
Second, help others. I have learned that there is no better way to get through the pain then by lessening the burdens that others carry. When my first wife left me, I was devastated. I decided that for my birthday, I would celebrate it differently. Instead of looking at how miserable my life was, I decided to do everything that day for other people. I looked for ways that I could serve those around me. I was alone in my house, so I spent little time in it. I chose not to look at Facebook or emails. I waited until the next day to check the mail for birthday cards or check the phone messages. Instead, I went a took every opportunity to make the lives of those around me better. What could have been one of the most depressing birthdays of my life became one of the greatest.
Third, know that hardships are temporary. Life is not going to be a constant celebration of everything wonderful. It will have lows as well as highs. When you are in the lows, know that the path will slope up eventually. The darkness always gives way to the light. For some, like my brother TJ, physical difficulties will not go away, but the hardship leaves when you learn as he did to move forward with hope and joy.
So, as I continued throughout the historical site that is Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, I smiled at the bit of clarity that was so apparent in such a noble and proud people. For centuries the indigenous people had it figured out. Don't run from your trials. Don't bemoan them all over Facebook. Just lean on those around you and push forward. As we grow in strength, we grow in insight. As we grow in wisdom, we can endure more. The tough things in life do not defeat us unless we allow them to. Instead, we should allow them to refine us. It's wisdom that is centuries old. We would be fools to ignore it.
