So this Spring Break is going down as one of the least enjoyable. We said a sad good-bye to our beloved Annie just over a week ago. It still hurts. The house seems a bit more empty with her passing. She went so peacefully and quickly. My sister, Tara, was the vet who administered the dose. She and her staff at Calgary North Veterinary Hospital were wonderful and understanding. We had Annie cremated at the Humane Society. I found her at an animal shelter so it made sense to me have her end at one. Again, the staff I dealt with were very compassionate. Heather and Barbara were with me the whole time, except for a bit before I left her to be cremated. I had a moment to speak to her and say my peace. In the days following I have found that simple things evoke strong emotions. Finding small clumps of her hair in the carpet, putting away her food dish, a touching statue a friend gave us over a year ago, even looking at where she would look out the front window and watch the world pass by can warm my heart and weeping like a small child. Her loss has hit me much more profoundly than I had anticipated. I am glad we waited until Spring Break to allow me to grieve without the responsibilities of work hanging overhead. So for now I move on and remember the good times. I do not fight the tears, but find the appropriate place to shed them. I think that not only do tears cleanse the body but also the soul.
It was unfortunate that only Annie's passing seemed to go according to schedule. After coming home from the humane society I became afflicted with a bad cold that has laid me out almost every day since. That squashed our plans on a weekend trip to Edmonton. Today was the best I have felt (physically) the whole break, and instead of going this weekend we thought that staying in Calgary will be enough. I want to be as healthy as possible when I go back to work this Monday. I hope that this Friday we will be able to have a really good, fun-filled day. I need it. My beloved wife, entering her last weeks of this pregnancy, has been supremely supportive of me. Barbara has developed a sweet side that has her wiping Daddy's tears even though she does not understand why he is crying. I have had many good friends, mostly through Facebook, come and provide support as well. So I push on, and look forward to seeing my colleagues and students on Monday.
Before my Top 10 list, a video that a former principal and good friend shared with me.
Top 10 Things I Miss Most About Annie
9. Her sneaking up onto the couch. Everyone else did not want her to, but I was OK with it. She had as much of a right as every person in the family does.
8. Cleaning up Barbara's discarded food. Those who are happy about the lack of vacuuming know the trade off now.
7. Taking walks. She loved it when I grabbed her leash. I forget the countless hours we spent roaming the areas where we lived. I could even take her without the leash because she would always come when called.
6. Chocolate hound. Who doesn't love sneaking a chocolate here and there. Annie sure did. Her last night I gave her some of the last of the Belgian chocolates I was given for Christmas.
5. How she greeted everyone who visited. She was loud, barking, and friendly. Our way of saying "Welcome to our home."
4. Her TV enthusiasm. She would love to watch TV and bark and jump whenever there were other animals on. I even remember her getting so excited once that she chased a dog that ran off of the screen into the next room thinking that it had run off in there. It was always entertaining for company to see.
3. Barbara's love for her first dog. Annie didn't take well to Barbara at first, but Barbie sure loved Annie. Annie was very patient and protective, even if she found the toddler to be annoying. I find it an unfortunate blessing that Barbara will not likely miss Annie the same way. I will try to help her remember the old girl
2. Coming home. I could always count on Annie to come to greet me whenever I came home. She was always happy to see me.
1. She always wanted to get love and affection, and return it all without judgement or prejudice. She was such a dog that way. Perfect.
