Another year has come and gone, and also another decade. As always, this is the time of year to sit back and reflect upon what has happened and what is to come. I must say that this year has been one of the most interesting, with many ups and downs. I saw my marriage officially end, a new relationship begin (more in a moment), some great gains, a few sad losses, and much in the way of personal growth. As I ponder about what has happened and what is to come, I must say that this year has had many more positives than negatives, yet regardless of all of that, I am happy to report that I am a much better person today than 365 days ago. I made many mistakes, but I can also say that I made a lot of progress in my personal life. I know that there are many great and wonderful things that await me in 2010.
Of course, the biggest thing to have happened was my meeting a lovely young lady named Heather Swendsen MacDonald. We met online through LDSMingles, one of two LDS dating sites I thought I would give a try. You see, back in July I was getting frustrated with the dating scene. I wanted to meet some people and start getting my social life back into the swing of things. Unfortuantely, there was little going on in the Single Adult scene in Calgary, so I was feeling discouraged. There were several activities, but they were not attended by as many single ladies my age that I would have liked. I met a couple nice ones, but nothing seemed to click. I gave the internet a chance to make some connections, and after a few weeks of looking through profiles and sending out feelers to some interesting candidates, Heather came in as one of the most promising (although at the time I did not feel that much would come of our getting to know each other).
After chatting online a few times, we decided to go on a "date". Dinner and Star Trek (already sounding promising). We got to know each other and, thanks to some interesting circumstances, we found ourselves in love. Only one problem: we both still had our respective divorces to get finalized. so, after counselling with our bishops, we maintained a close yet distant relationship. While we did not always follow the counsel we were given to the strict letter of the law, we did the best that we could do. As of December 18, both of our divorces were finalized and we went on our first official date (complete with first kiss...and many others that followed). While things have moved along fairly quickly, we both feel that we are following the Lord's timeline for us. I have never felt more certain about anything. I have never been more happy and more in love. It is a wonderful feeling, and although we both know that there will be some trials ahead of us with respect to merging our families (she has 2 teenage boys, and I have a dog), we are happy and hopeful about our futures together. Yes, we have already talked about marriage. I'll be sure to post when we are engaged.
There are many qualities about Heather that have endeared her to me. She has everything that I had ever hoped for in a girlfriend and companion. She is caring and kind, beautiful and lively, shy and fun-loving, and she has a great laugh. Most of all, she is able to give me freely what I have always wanted from a spouse: unconditional love, a desire to attend the temple with me, and accepts me for who I am with all the good, bad, and ugly that I bring. She is the dearest thing I have ever found and her love for me is one of my most precious treasures. I have only had a short time to really get to know her sons, but they are really good kids who I am happy to have in my life.
Of course, there have been hard times this year as well. Most of all there was the passing of TJ. I miss him terribly, but I know that it pales in comparisson to how much his beloved wife and children miss him. His youngest son, Hyrum Joseph, was born on what would have been TJ's 31st birthday. While the young child will never know his father personally, he will know of his father through the family. I was happy to get to know TJ's children better this past year (mostly before his passing, but much after as well), and I have promised to do my best to be there for TJ's family in his absence. One of the highlights this year was being able to participate in the blessing of little Hyrum. When it was originally scheduled there was a terrible snow storm that left me in Calgary. Thankfully Shelley reschduled it for Dec. 20, and I was able to spend a delightful day not just at the blessing, but with her entire family. I know that TJ's children are going to be well looked after.
So, for today's Top Ten list, I thought I would list the Top 10 most important events or hapenings of this year in my life. While not all are good, all led to my growth.
10. Learning the true reason for my divorce. I mention this because it reaffirmed what I had worked hard at during months of counseling: the divorce had almost nothing to do with me, but it provided me a chance to make me a better person, a stronger person. When I learned that my ex-wife had abondoned her beliefs to live and embrace an alternative lifestyle, I knew that this ending was inevitable. The nice thing is that I chose to make myself into a much stronger person in spite of what Jen had done to me.
9. Called to work in the primary. In January I had to be released as a seminary teacher because a new job would make it difficult to continue in that calling. Instead, I was called to work in the primary with the 9 year olds. It has been a challenge, and I still prefer working with teenagers, but I have grown to love my calling and the precious souls I teach in that class.
8. Full time employment. On January 31 I started a full time teaching contract with the Foundations for the Future Charter Academy as a high school biology/science teacher. This is a great school, and although I still miss Sir Winston Churchill High, I do enjoy FFCA. I have made some great friends, and have an opportunity to be the Science Department co-ordinator (our closest thing to a department head). I have had many growing experciences prfessionally and personally.
7. Hyrum's baby blessing. That weekend has brought me muchcloser to TJ's family, especially his in-laws. The Richardsons are great people and I am grateful to have them looking after Shelley and the kids.
6. Volunteering at the zoo. This year I was able to be a zoo keeper (sort of) in the summer. I helped out Ingrid, a warm and fun lady, look after the camels, red pandas, pot-bellied pigs, caveys, peccarys, and asian wild horses. I also had a great time helping out at Boo at the Zoo, Zoo Gala, and Zoo Lights. Heather has also started there, and it is a great place to be. I think the zoo is my favourite place in Calgary now.
5. Brent's wedding. Brent, my youngest step-brother, married his long-time girlfriend Pam in August. I took this opportunity to make a solid effort to connect with Violet's children. I can honestly say now that I am glad to have Violet, Matthew, Renee, and Brent as a part of my family. It was a great day.
4. Temple attendance. I attended the temple six times this last year (my goal was four). I have found much spiritual growth in regular temple attendance, and I really look forward to attending with Heather and when the Calgary temple opens up.
3. Rapport Leadership Breakthrough 1. This was one of the most intense and original training sessions I have ever gone through. It was worth it though. I was able to rediscover who I used to be and found a renewed zest for life that still is alive in me today.
2. TJ. While I had always known that this day would come, I must confess that when it hapened I was not wanting it. I had really become close to TJ in the last couple years, and did not want to say good-bye, especially with all the good that was happening in my life. Still, it allowed me growth, and I learned much from my little brother that I have been able to carry on itno all aspects of my life.
1. Heather. Big surprise there. She has become my closest friend, my greatest love, and my most enduring inspiration. I love her so deeply and passionately that I look forward to what the next year brings for us.
Happy New Year everyone!
