One Set of Footprints

I just saw a post where a friend of mine from my university days just said that one of her daughter's junior high teachers had just committed suicide. I then received news of another suicide that is hitting too close to home. I fear that these tragedies are only the beginning for what could well be a tidal wave of mental health issues in the weeks and months to come. I am concerned that the mental toll is going to show up in more suicides, increased addictions, abuse of self and others, and more. However, this news hit me harder than one might have expected. 

You see, yesterday I broke.

I have been struggling with trying to juggle my responsibilities with school, my students, church, and my family. Things have been piling up and yesterday something happened that pushed me past a breaking point. I went for a long walk (after my wife suggested I do so) and as I tried to get ready for a Zoom meeting after, I just broke. 

It felt like a tiny something snapped in my brain.

I don't know how long I was alone in my basement before I had the sense of mind to text Heather. She came running downstairs. What happened was a bit of a haze to me. I just know my wife was there, offering words of support and comfort while I sobbed. After several minutes like this my beloved wife helped take care of a few things that were needing some immediate attention, and then I went upstairs, turned off my phone, and crawled into bed. I believe I slept a little, but honestly I don't know. I was quiet at dinner and left the girls in Kevin's care for a few moments while Heather and I went to get a few groceries. We talked about what happened. I got a much needed phone call from my Bishop, and we talked. All yesterday I felt like there was pressure in my head and I cannot remember the last time I felt this exhausted. I went to sleep.

I have lost family members and friends. I have lost employment. I have attended sad funerals of cherished colleagues and beloved students. I have been rejected and humiliated by others. I have gone through a divorce. Yesterday was the first time that I felt broken. 

I bring this up because I think it is important that people understand how delicate our mental health can be at these times of crisis. On the surface I should be fine. My wife and I are still fully employed with no loss of income, my family is with me and we are healthy, there is food in our fridge and pantry and power to our home, nobody I know has died from COVID-19, and I have a close relationship with my Heavenly Father. I can go for walks and I have enough at home to keep me entertained. And yet since this pandemic started I have had days where I feel like my sanity is hanging by a frayed thread. I have established a network of friends and family members who I reach out to and who reach out to me, but I still had a mental collapse where I was pushed to the limit and beyond. While many people could look at me and say "Bryan Andrews is fine. He is strong. He can weather this storm", know that it is not entirely true. I am still human. My struggles are still real. I feel the pressures of being on the ground doing what I can to see those I have been tasked with through this. And while on the surface I may appear to be doing fine, know that underneath I am not. 

At least, not always.

I struggle. I struggle with depression. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy. I struggle with loneliness. Most days the struggle is manageable to easy. Most days I can be the strength for others to lean on. Most days I can be there for others. And some days, like yesterday, I can't. Some days the struggle is too much. Some days I get knocked to the ground, and it is hard to get back up.

I like to be the one who can reach out their hand to others who are struggling, but I have learned through difficult experience to extend my own hand so others can help lift me. I am learning to find the strength is asking for help, but I am also glad for those who have made the deliberate decision to be there for me. Of that, I am grateful. I am grateful for those who choose to check in with me rather than just assume everything is OK. 

One of my favorite poems is titled "Footprints". I have included it at the end. I love it because it has taught me to be grateful for the times in my life where I can only see one set of footprints in the sand that is my life's journey. I have dear friends, cherished colleagues, thoughtful neighbors, supportive students, and the most loving family I could ask for, but at the end of the day, there is one set of footprints that have always been with me. And it is that set of footprints that ultimately helps me when I feel broken.

So please be kinder to others. As we navigate this storm in life, be merciful and patient with others. You do not know the sorrow and pain that they are carrying. You cannot perceive every wound that others cover. Err on the side of compassion and hope instead of skepticism and conspiracy. Be ready to assist when called upon, and at the same time I hope you discover the strength that is to be found is asking for help. Lift others, but also allow yourself to be lifted. This is going to be needed as much as a vaccine or a treatment, and this is something that you can do.

The New Normal

I have tried to write this several times now. Let's see how this attempt goes.

Covid-19 has hit this world hard. It has hit me hard. At the start of the year, this was yet another pandemic that affected mostly people that are far away from me. In February we noticed that things were getting more serious. Then, a week before our Spring Break was to begin, schools in our province were closed. Church was cancelled for the foreseeable future. I found myself in a 14-day isolation due to cold symptoms with my wife and daughters, and I had to adjust myself to a new normal. It's been three weeks since this all hit close to home, and I have to admit that I am not enjoying it. 

The world is changing, and changing fast. I have always found change to be difficult. The bigger the change, the bigger the challenge for me. I now have to teach through a screen, and I don't know what that is going to look like. Church is at home, with some family members coming in via the internet. Birthday parties are going to be different for the girls this year. Heather and I were planning on celebrating our 10th anniversary this year with a trip to Orlando, and that is looking more and more likely that it will be cancelled. The Celine Dion concert that Heather and Hope were planning on attending late this month has been postponed until further notice. Friends and colleagues have been laid off work, others have had to close their businesses, and some are on the front lines fighting this pandemic. Terms like "social distancing", "self-isolation", and "temporary layoffs" have become commonplace. And people are dying. Joe Diffie, a popular country singer during my high school and university years, passed away two days after testing positive at the age of 61. So far, that is the closest that this virus has come to taking away someone I knew, but I worry that it will hit closer before it is all said and done.

Physically, we are doing well in our home. Kevin is still able to work. Heather has started posting lessons online. The girls are doing as well as can be expected. Mentally, however, is a different story for me. I first felt it the day my self-isolation ended. I went shopping, starting at Walmart. When I was done there, I went to my car and had an anxiety attack. The eeriness of everything started to hit home, and I did not know what to do. I do not even know why I am feeling this way, or how to best cope with it. I don't have good days and bad days, I have good moments and bad moments. I read and play games and do puzzles to distract myself, but then I have to get to work. I not only am concerned about my students and colleagues, but about my church family, my friends, and my actual kin. Aside from a nephew who likely, but has not been confirmed to have it, nobody in my family has tested positive for Covid-19. Nobody I know personally has either. That will likely change before this is all over, and I worry for those I know that are the most vulnerable. 

With church I have been asked to help track everyone in our ward with their physical, mental, financial, and spiritual well-being. I am trying to help bear the burdens of others to the best of my ability. I have to admit that in doing so, I am feeling the weight myself. Not since my divorce so many years ago have I felt this burdened. I am also aware of particular students who have had struggles of their own over the last several weeks, and how this situation may be affecting them. I also worry that things will get worse before they get better. I suspect that they will, but still hope for the worst-case scenario to be far off from what will actually happen.

So, simply put, I am struggling with my mental health during this difficult time. A part of me wonders why, as I am still fully employed, in good health, and well-stocked in toilet paper. We have internet, phones, and lots to do. I know this will be temporary, but I still feel like I am being overwhelmed. I know there are others who are in far worse situations, and I am not privy to the struggles that others are experiencing. I cannot, however, diminish what my feelings are in this. As someone posted on Facebook today, we are all in the same boat, but we are not all experiencing the same storm. Each of us is being negatively affected in some fashion, and the struggles of myself should not diminish the struggles of others, nor vice versa. We simply must each find our way through the storms, and throw out the lifelines to those whom we can reach.

I have had an abundance of those lifelines, even today. A cherished colleague sent me a funny Star Trek picture (it's included in this blog). A member of my ward who I have always enjoyed talking to called me up today. His in his 80s and often tells me stories of his life, which he almost always apologizes for "boring" me with them, but boy, did I need it today. When I heard that some of my colleagues who provide such essential service to our school were being laid off today, it sent me in a bit of a downward spiral. As I was putting Barbara to bed, I felt I needed to tell her that I was struggling and that I was sorry for not being my typical upbeat self. She went and grabbed three special stuffed toys. These toys were three that I had as a child, and many months ago gave to her. She handed Barney Buffalo, Susie Rabbit, and Bob the Bear to me and said "Here Dad, you need to give these guys a big hug. In fact, you can sleep with them tonight if you want. You may need them more than me." How blessed am I to have a daughter like this? 

This is the main point of my writing tonight. Yes, I am struggling. I cannot deny it. I miss friends, I miss students, I miss church, I miss the classroom, and I miss the old normal. Yes, it is possible that someone close to me will contract this virus and have some serious issues, maybe even life-threatening. With all the negativity in possibility, I know that these changes in my life must be. If not, then my 80+ year old friend that I spoke with today might not make it to the summer. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law who have immunity issues might be hurt. More and more difficult choices may have to be made. If I want the old normal to return, then we all have to make these changes. Bad things will come, but there are so many little tender mercies that are given to us that we will endure and emerge stronger. I want this to be a message of hope, which I am trying so hard to cling to. Find the joys in life, and don't let go of them. Call up those that you care about and let them hear your voice. Don't hide your struggles, but accept them. Bring joy to your life in whatever way you can, and share them with others (it just so happens that a former student is currently live on Facebook and is sharing his DJ skills while I am writing this). Just hang in there, as this too shall pass.

See the blessings in the storm. I see a wife who is so strong and supportive of me, even when I tell her I need to be alone and cry for a bit. I see daughters who still have dance parties and build a story fort. I see friends who brought us groceries during our isolation. I see colleagues who wear silly hats and masks during our Zoom meetings. I see people who are facing their own financial struggles during this still bring out the support to others with a smile on their faces. I see a teenage boy who dutifully shows up to the Safeway he works at to keep our shelves full. I see a friend who is a doctor putting in so many extra hours to treat those who are sick. The blessings are there, but if you are having some trouble seeing them, then call out for someone to bring you a light. 

2020 Vision

Another year has come and gone. As is customary, people are making predictions and resolutions. With a new "decade" starting (although, whether or not we have started a new decade is still up to debate) there is an increase in excitement. People are looking forward to things being exciting and new. For us at the Andrews household, we too are looking forward with anticipation, but as always, I take a look back at what happened to measure what is likely to come.

My writing really took a hiatus this last year. I learned a lot about finding balance, and trying to write when I had little I wanted to write about just did not seem to be a big enough motivation. My Trek blog went from several dozen posts a year to just a handful. This blog also took a hit. My reasons for writing in this blog are mostly to write something positive, with the occasional addressing of a more serious topic. This last year I really found that I wanted to scream and shout about things and celebrate less, so I wrote less. I found a lot of things frustrated me last year, all of which seem to center on a lack of compassion and a desire to "win" instead of communicating and understanding. People have become so polarized on just about everything in life, and when I have tried to engage in discourse on these topics, I am met with insults, condescension, and outrage. While it is not a majority of people I interact with, it is growing, and that concerns me.

Don't get me wrong, there was a lot to celebrate last year. Hope started kindergarten at FFCA. Barbara took grade 2 by storm. Both girls are growing in their talents on the piano (Barbara has been showing such growth recently). Heather has a new principal at her school and feels much better about her work environment. I took on a new student teacher this year who is showing amazing potential and talent. Two of my favorite franchises reached important milestones this year (MCU and Star Wars). I saw a lot of growth in many of my students and former students, including one who has had her outstanding one act play work-shopped, one who starred in her first professional Shakespearean play, and one who is starting her first play production. It wasn't the most pleasant of years. I had hernia surgery in the summer, saw a Prime Minister plagued with controversy get re-elected because there were no better alternative, and this has led to an increase in people wanting in Western Canada wanting to separate and form their own country. We see politics reaching new lows across the world, and I long for the days when I can trust my elected officials. Sadly, I said goodbye to several individuals who have had a positive influence in my life. So, in short, it's been a regular year, but there has been enough negativity to leave me wanting better.

There have been many tongue-in-cheek comments about this year having "20-20 vision", and I would like to see that more. I would love to see more peace, more compassion, and more of us seeking to understand others. I would like to see less hatred, less contention, and less prideful measurements of the value of others. I would hope that we have learned a lot from 45 years ago, and I would also hope that we will continue to grow and learn even more. I often talk about what I would like to see changed in the world, but really, I can only change myself. I can influence, but ultimately I am responsible for myself. So the things that I want to see most in the world, I will first work to establish those things within my own self. I will have to work at having more compassion, more tolerance, and more respect to those whose perceptions are different from my own. After all, if 2020 is supposed to be a year of clear vision, than I must do what I can to correct my own vision first if I expect others to do likewise, 

How To Come Together

Sorry for not having written anything for a while. All of my writing has taken a hit these last few months, I got out of the groove. Well, time to get back into it.

Shortly after I moved to Calgary, I started a blog (which I since discontinued) called "The Reluctant Voter". It was meant to express my dissatisfaction at how politics in this country works. I stopped it largely because I didn't have time, and I found it to be quite frustrating dwelling on the negative. This does not mean that I lost interest in politics, but writing about it constantly became emotionally draining. I still follow politics, and I still find it discouraging, but I keep up to date on it out of sense that it is a necessary evil. Over the last several years I engaged with friends and strangers alike over political issues, and I sadly found that I got too involved in the negativity. After the last US election in 2016 and the federal and provincial elections in 2015, I needed a change. I needed and deserved better than what I was giving and receiving. I still spoke up when things weren't right. I still engaged in the discourse. What I needed was to reduce the toxicity as much as possible.

Yesterday we here in Alberta went to the polls and elected a new government. We told Rachel Notley and her NDP government that they were a "one-and-done" government and gave Jason Kenney and the United Conservative Party a clear mandate. The election was particularly nasty. Barbara became frustrated because every time she watched a YoutTube video aimed at kids, there were anti-UCP ads from the NDP running. It was frustrating that as a parent my kids were being subjected to the toxic environment of our current political climate. I do not appreciate how NDP supporters were teaching my daughters to hate. The UCP side of things wasn't much better. Seeing how this election was going, I made a choice to mute anything and anyone that posted such divisive nonsense on Facebook. I ended up with a refreshingly positive Facebook feed for the last few weeks. Now that it is over, I had hoped that we could get back to working together as a province at improving things. 

24 hours removed from the results, and things are still troubling for me. It reminds me of what happened four years ago when the NDP won, just that the roles are reversed. Those who voted for the winning team are gloating and those who voted for the losing team are fearful. Same outcome, just swapped sides. A lot of us are just trying to get on with our lives and move forward, but the continued negativity concerns me. The memes still get circulated, the insults still get hurled, and the two sides remain distant. The politicians are saying that they will work together and work for all Albertans, but yet again I have my doubts.

I get the celebration of the victors. The people you wanted to win did in fact win! That should make you happy. Yet why do some feel the need to rub salt in the wounds of those who lost? Why must we look at our political opponents as being less than human? Why do we relish in their tears and worries? Again, this happened four years ago, and it is happening again now. I also get the worries of the defeated. The people you wanted to win lost. They lost big. You wonder if the values and issues that are important to you are going to be ignored. You worry that your way of life is going to be harmed. Those are legitimate concerns. When the NDP won four years ago, I was afraid that charter schools would be hurt and held down. When the UCP won this time, I was worried that fighting with BC, Ottawa, and everyone else in this country was going to put us further back in our economic recovery. Guess what? Charter schools did suffer under Notley's rule. Legislation was passed that put us at a disadvantage. The funding to rebuild my high school was taken away, and only after a great grassroots fight did the NDP give us the full funding (and, naturally, took full credit for it while forgetting that they took the funding in the first place). However, in spite of those setbacks, I do feel that the NDP gained a better understanding about charter schools during the last four years. I do feel that they are more on our side than they were before. So, with the concerns that people have about the UCP, I get it. Your concerns are valid, but be don't get swallowed up in the doom and gloom. Be vigilant when things start to go against you, but be prepared for the realization that maybe, just maybe, things will not be as bad as you feared.

People are asking how the UCP and the NDP are going to unite the people of this good province. Well, here's something to consider: that job belongs to you. Do you want this province to be united? Then you need to take the first step. When the Alberta Party candidate came to our door a couple weeks ago, I held him accountable for his party starting to get into name-calling and fear-mongering labels. I expressed to him my disappointment that members of his party were starting to stoop to the level of the others. It was frustrating when I thought they were a party that were able to rise above the rhetoric and nonsense. You know what, he took it to heart. We had a great conversation about it, and he won our votes. He talked about how he saw good in all the parties various platforms, and that we should be talking to each other and working together. That won us over. I knew he would not win, and that the Alberta Party would not form government, but I wanted to vote for real change. I wanted to vote for unity. When I listened to those who were supporting the NDP, I accepted their reasons as legitimate. I didn't agree with them, but they were not "stupid" for wanting something that I didn't. I made points that they could not counter, and they made points that I could not counter. When I listened to those who supported the UCP, I accepted that they felt that Kenney was the best person to get Albertans back to work. And what's wrong with allowing honest folk to make an honest living? Just because they voted UCP does not mean that they are racist, homophobic bigots. We need to stop associating political parties with the outliers that are attracted to them. The majority of conservatives are not white supremacists, and the majority of liberals and NDPs are not communists. We need to stop thinking that the extremists in every party (and every party has them) are steering their respective ship. We need to be vigilant, but we need to be level-headed ourselves. We need to listen to what people say in the context it was given, not focus on soundbites that can be twisted to soothe our outrage. 

If we want our government to unify us as a province and as a people, then we need to demand the same of ourselves. We need to accept that people will vote differently than us. We need to embrace our differences and stop taking cheap shots at each other. We must extend the hand of compromise and compassion. When we lose, we must resist the urge to hate the victors. When we win, we must resist the urge to mock the concerns of others. That is the difference between us being the good, the bad, or the ugly. 

Forgiveness or Madness

I sometimes wonder if the world is truly going mad. 

There have been some great changes in society recently. There have been an empowerment of those who have been oppressed. Children who have survived horrific school shootings are taking their story  with a conviction that I haven't seen in a long while. Women are standing up and putting men who have used a long-standing and toxic culture in their place. Yet, in spite of all of these gains, I fear that we are swinging into another extreme where those who are fighting for justice and equality are turning into shades of the old Salem witch hunters, turning innocents into evil-doers. I applaud those who make a tough stand, who sacrifice of themselves to bring into the light the dark things of this world in an attempt to make the world better and safer for our children and future generations, but at the same time I worry about the extremes that people are taking this charge. I am concerned that they are turning their fight against extremism to an extreme end.

There are some, I am convinced, that in their own way seek out controversy and outrage, even where none exists. It is as if they wake up in the morning, eager to discover how they will be offended this day. They have become so overly sensitive to the injustices of the world that they take offense at the most innocent of things. This past Halloween my eldest daughter Barbara (who is six years old) wanted to dress up as Moana, one of her favorite Disney characters of recent years. I asked her why she liked Moana so much. She told me that she liked how Moana was brave, intelligent, and saved the world. She also liked how Moana disobeyed her parents, but that's another story. So my wife bought her the costume from Costco. It included a dress and Moana's necklace. She did not wear a wig to cover her blond hair, nor she did not apply dark make-up to her very light skin. She wore the dress over a T-shirt and tights to keep her legs warm. She went to school and proudly told everyone that she was dressed as one of her favorite characters. That is innocent and sweet, and yet there are those who would decry her choice as cultural appropriation. They say that because my daughter is white, she should not dress up like her favorite Disney character who happens to not be white. They would be outrage that a six-year old girl would dare be inspired by a Polynesian princess to the point where she would (gasp) wear the same dress for Halloween. 

Don't get me wrong, I am firmly opposed to the improper, ignorant, and discriminatory appropriation of any culture. To wear religious or sacred garments of other groups in a way to attract attention is insensitive at best, and racist at worst. Thankfully, nobody at her school thought any less of Barbara for her choice of Halloween costume, yet there are those that would have raised a huge outcry over it. While that sort of unnecessary outrage was spared in Barbara's case, there are many other examples where people have made mistakes and are now feeling the full brunt of the Wrath of the Social Justice Warriors. Just this week famous actor Liam Neeson has found himself in the cross-hairs of these new-age witch hunters. Last week in an interview to promote his latest movie, he was asked about his inspiration for the character he played, a character that had a lot of rage and anger. Neeson recounted an experience from nearly 40 years ago. A close friend of his was raped by a black man, and he said for about a week he went around the area hoping to find a black person and kill him. He was full of rage and anger over what had happened to his friend. 

Now, if that was where he had left it, then I would understand the anger towards him. That is not the end of the story. He went on to say that after a week of this, he came to his senses, realized that what he was doing and thinking was wrong, and went about seeking help. He turned to a priest and close friends to help him change how he was feeling and thinking because he recognized that he was in the wrong. He felt regret and remorse then about his actions, and for some reason that part of his story is being lost to the ravenous virtual mob that are demanding his movies be boycotted. His new movie had its red carpet event cancelled because of it. This is a man who made a mistake, took deliberate steps to change himself and atone for that mistake, and as far as anyone can tell has led a much better life ever since then. Perhaps there is more to this story that I am missing, some details that can lead one to believe that he is still a racist, yet those details are also missing from those who have publicly crucified him on the crosses of social media. The demands for his proverbial head on a platter is pure and utter madness. 

I see this sort of attitude all around me. We are quick to judge and condemn others for making mistakes, and yet when it happens to us we beg for mercy and understanding. We see political opponents as the enemy and paint them as monsters, and yet when one from our own political camp is caught doing heinous and terrible things, we defend them and claim that there is a conspiracy in the works. I am not innocent of it myself. I have been wronged and have sought to color the tale of the injustices done to me to gain favor and sympathy. I am not proud of those moments, and I have tried to repair the damage that I have caused. I have jumped on these bandwagons, sometimes unknowingly, to try to persuade others to my way of thinking and voting. I was never successful. In fact, I learned that such attitudes and approaches of shaming others into siding with you often backfire.

Last year I wrote about forgiveness. I talked about how forgiveness is often done to help the person who was wronged to fully heal, and that it often has nothing to do with the person who caused the offense. There is another facet to forgiveness, one that we as a society need to be reminded of. Forgiveness can help the repentant move on as well, and if we withhold that forgiveness we cause harm of equal measure. In a perfect world nobody would ever cause harm to another, but our world has never been perfect. One of humanity's core pieces of identity is our imperfections. We lie, we steal, we hate, we harm. Our histories are full of tale after bloody tale of wars, genocides, and intolerance. We seem eager to fight those we disagree with for no better reason than to feed our sense of destructive pride. We verbally attack those who have demonstrated racism, sexism, homophobia, or any unjust attitude, and yet when one has expressed regret, remorse, and restitution for their past sins, we refuse them forgiveness. That, my friends, is true injustice.

I think of the truck driver who in April of last year ran a stop sign and killed and grievously injured over two dozen members of the Humboldt Broncos junior hockey team in Saskatchewan. His trial was quick as he entered a guilty plea. He has said that he entered the plea to spare the families of the victims having to relive the event. He has stated that he is broken over his mistake. He is not trying to seek a way out. He is facing up to ten years of jail time, and because he is an immigrant is likely to face deportation after his sentence has been served. The past couple weeks I have read the victim impact statements of the families and loved ones of those hurt and killed by this mans actions. Many of them have offered forgiveness to this man, hoping that he can still have a good and positive life. Others have said that they have not been able to find that forgiveness, but that they want to and are working towards it. I am touched by this scenario, even in the light of the tragic events that brought them to this place. The loved ones who are still grieving their huge loss are wanting the best for the man who caused their pain. It should also be noted that this man has plead guilty to a criminal offense, will likely serve time in prison, and due to his immigration status will almost assuredly be deported upon the completion of his sentence. He is not escaping the consequences of his actions, yet the families of his victims are desiring that he can lead a happy and positive life still. They are offering him a chance to move forward from a difficult situation, and this is happening while others demand blood and sacrifice from a person who long ago repented for acting in a matter that does fully square away with their inflated sense of social propriety. 

Why do some of us demand our pound of flesh from those who have made mistakes? How can we call ourselves enlightened or "woke" when we impede the healing of those who have done wrong and yet have repented of their sins? Are some of us that broken that we feel that the only healing we can find is in punishing the past wrong-doings of others? Are they so jaded that they have allowed themselves to believe in the lie that only by continually punishing someone for a decades-old wrong can justice truly be served? I realize that I am attempting to distance myself from them because I truly do not understand this way of thinking. Perhaps I have taken for granted the forgiveness that I have received at the hands of others. I just find it hard to see this perspective when the futility of it is all but crystal clear to me.

In the end, we are all faced with a choice. When one has erred and is seeking to set things right, we can do one of two things. We can choose to let go of our hatred and anger and allow them be forgiven
or we can withhold it from them and cause them to suffer. We can extend the olive branch of hope and healing, or we can slap them across the face to extract our revenge. We can help them along the path of redemption or we can construct barriers that impede their journey.

We can choose forgiveness or we can further descend into madness.

Because I Can - How to Do Walt Disney World

OK, I have been to Walt Disney World (which I shall here after abbreviate as WDW) 4 times, so I don't think I can call myself an expert. Having done it most recently at Christmas time with my daughters (their first time), I did learn a lot about how to get the most out of your trip, and thought it would be fun to recap and provide some insights at the same time. We had a wonderful time, and Christmas at WDW just adds a special dose of magic. I thought that it would be good to write about the trip here, both to share some tips and to keep a record of what we did. When I started this blog so many years ago I was into Top 10 lists, so I'll dust that off a bit and do my Top 10 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your WDW Trip.

In no particular order...

10. Gift Cards - I came up with this idea as soon as I learned that the Disney gift cards are good at their parks. You can load up a Disney card and use them at almost all their stores, restaurants, parks, etc. We did all four parks, stayed at a resort, and did Disney Springs for a day, and I did not find a place that did not accept them. The idea I came up with was starting when you decide to go to put aside some money each month onto a gift card. This way you pay for your food, gifts, and other purchases before you make the trip. You have budgeted what you are going to spend and avoid a lot of unnecessary debt when you come home. We gave the girls their own gift card to spend as they wanted (they both bought Minnie Ears and a bracelet), so your kids have their own spending money for treats and souvenirs (or, I guess in this case, souven-ears!). Being Canadian, the exchange rate only came into play the day we first used a card. Whatever the exchange rate was that day was locked into the card.

9. There's an App for That - In the last few years, I would say that by far the best thing that Disney parks have done is the app for your smart phone. With the app you can get current wait times for every ride and event at every park. You can find every character meet and great with times, find every show and attraction, plus pre-order food at the quick-dine restaurants. It saved us a ton of time. You can also manage your Fast Passes, which again saved us a lot of time. We were able to drop a FP and get something else easily. We could look at our photos (more on that in a moment), make restaurant reservations, and so much more. Get the app and combine it with the My Disney Experience on their website and planning your trip has never been easier (by the way, I am not getting paid by Disney to do this)

8. Down Time - You go on your vacation to relax, and then spend the whole time running all over the parks to the point where you get worn out. Sound familiar? If you end a vacation needing a vacation to recharge, then you need to schedule some downtime. If you are there for several days, I recommend at least one down day. This is especially true for children. Most, if not all, of the resorts and hotels have pools, arcades, and other activities for kids, so take a day to recharge yourselves. The parks can be quite exhausting, and after three or four days in a row you just don't have the energy. This could be a day at Disney Springs where you can watch a movie and do some shopping, or this could be a pool day at the resort. We took the Sunday off to go to church and just relax at the resort after, and our girls were more than ready to do Animal Kingdom the next day. In fact, they were able to get all the Wilderness Explorers badges and become Senior WEs, a feat that the people at the park said was almost unheard of (Hope, age 4, was so cute getting her Senior badge). Another strategy for this is arrive when the park opens, do a bunch of stuff, head back to the resort after lunch, hang out there for two or three hours, and then head back to the park. We did that on our second day at Magic Kingdom. Not only did the girls feel refreshed and were able to go longer, but we missed the busiest hours of the park (typically between 12 and 4). You don't want your trip to be too hectic, so give yourself a break.

7. Do Your Homework - The website for Disney is excellent at planning your trip. They give you so much information. I was using it several times a week leading up to the trip, and it helped me with FP planning, reservations, and which rides to go on. The website gives you an idea as to what sort of things you can do. For example, I learned where to go to get the girls registered for the Jedi training at Hollywood Studios, and that was our first stop at that park. It allowed us to get the time we wanted and help plan the rest of the day. I was able to see what rides the girls could and could not do, which helped us select the best FP options ahead of time. If there is something that the website does not help you with, they have the best people you can call (note, and I found this surprising, there are no 1-800 numbers for this, so it is a long distance call). 

6. Early Birds Rule! - Each park has designated days with early hour admission for resort guests. If your are staying at a qualifying hotel or resort, take advantage of those. We did Magic Kingdom over two days, and the second day had the early hours. Our first FP was at 9 am, and we arrived at 7:30. Before we used our FP, we were able to do Peter Pan's Flight, met Ariel in her grotto, did the Journey of the Little Mermaid, and went on the Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin twice (back-to-back). We then did our three FPs (Jungle Cruise, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Aladdin's Magic Carpets) all within a couple hours, plus squeezed in the Tiki Room, the Country Bears Jamboree, watched the Christmas parade, and met Tinkerbell all by 1 pm. That was a full morning! The early hours are worth getting up for.

5. Memory Maker - The Memory Maker is a special photo package that is a fairly pricey item, but if you are taking lots of pictures it is definitely worth it. Again, the app is helpful in finding all the different places that Disney has photographers around the park. Almost every character meet-and-greet has one (the only exception for us was Mary Poppins in Epcot), and you can often get magic shots that add a little something extra. You can see the photos on your app a few hours after you get them, you can add borders and stickers to them, and download all of them for over a month after they are taken. Special tip, though. It is important to keep track as to where the photos are taken. We had a photos taken with Chip and Dale at Hollywood, and the next day those photos were missing. Good news is that I emailed Disney about it, provided all the information they needed, and within three days the photos were recovered. 

4. You Can't Do It All, and That's OK - There is so much to do at WDW that you cannot possibly expect to do it all in one day, so don't fret about it. Go and have fun. This is where having a list or two comes in handy. Make a list of the must dos (typically these will involve a FP), and get those in. Keep yourself open to things that just happen (we were not expecting to meet Alice outside the Tea Cup Spin, but there she was and we had our first character experience!), and try something new. If you notice something has a short wait time, give it a go. Take a break from waiting in line and catch one of their many shows. And at the end of the day, if there was something you wanted to do but did not have enough time for, then put it on your list of must dos when you come back someday.

3. Snacks - Let's be honest, even with a dining plan food at the parks can be expensive. There is nothing wrong with bringing a backpack full of snacks and sandwiches for the group. We found that trail mix, fruit bars, cheese strings, apples, and those little oranges are quite good. I myself polished off two bags of beef jerky. It gives you something to do while you wait in line and keeps the budget in check. We found that by bringing along some simple sandwiches you only ate one big meal at the park, and occasionally a breakfast. We did find some nice pastries at the French bakery in Epcot that Heather could have (she has a soy and fresh dairy allergy), so we bought a few for her to have for breakfast. We bought a couple loaves of bread the day we arrived and used those for sandwiches. The girls just wanted jam or honey sandwiches, and lucky for us the resort we stayed at had jam and honey packets for free at their food court. We did treat ourselves to some treats every now and then, but for the most part our food prices were low thanks to some snacks. Oh, and bring a couple water bottles along. Stay hydrated on those hot days.

2. Respect the Cast - The workers, or cast members as Disney likes to call them, are a big part in making your visit enjoyable. Disney goes to great lengths in training the good people that work for them, and they have always done a fantastic job. Sometimes they tell you "no", like when we asked if Hope could go on Star Tours even though she just barely missed the height requirement (by less than a half inch). We got it, and they were cool about it, offering us a way to get both parents on the ride quickly by taking turns with Barbara. Sometimes they can give you a break on something. We ran from Morocco to China at Epcot so we could meet both Jasmine and Mulan. When we arrived at Mulan's stop, the guy had just closed the line. As I was explaining to Barbara (who wanted to meet Mulan more than any other princess there) that we would have to come back, the guy took pity on us and let us stay in line. We got our photo with Mulan, and the guy was also helpful in giving us some tips on how to meet other princesses. We found that by being pleasant and respectful to the cast members, they were able to do their job better. We met a wonderful lady at the Nemo Aquarium in Epcot who was a retired teacher. She and I had a great conversation about caring for the animals, and she was able to talk to my daughters about the importance of aquariums when my eldest daughter commented that it was mean to keep dolphins in captivity. This lady treated my daughter's comment with respect and dignity  and patiently explained all the good that aquariums do. My daughter left with a better understanding about these things, and I am grateful for this lady taking time to talk to my 6 year old like a person. One noteworthy tip is being ready at the security check points by having all the zippers on your bags and backpacks open before it's your turn. Each time we did that the security people expressed a sincere appreciation for that. Talk to the character actors as if they are the characters (you don't want to spoil the magic for others). Say thank you to the people serving your food (I was impressed with how diligent the chefs were when it came to my wife's food allergies). Just be good to the people who work so hard to make your experience as magical as possible.

1. Remember to Enjoy Yourself - Yes, there will be long lines. Yes, stuff is expensive. Yes, there is more to do than you can cram into one day. And yes, your young children will have a melt down every now and then. Mine did, and so did other people's. Take all of that in stride. How enjoyable the trip is will largely depend on the attitude you bring. If the line is long, chat with people in it. I met a nice family from England waiting to ride Prince Charming's carousel. Talked to a lovely couple from New Jersey while eating nachos at Magic Kingdom. It was great! If someone in line with you has a kid throwing a temper tantrum, don't make it harder on the parents by shooting them dirty looks. We are all in this together. Just enjoy the magic of Disney. You paid good money for it, so choose to enjoy yourself.

Things I Have Learned

It has been an interesting year for me, one full of ups and downs. As always, I find that there is a lot to learn from my experiences and I thought that today I would write some of them down. Perhaps there is something that you can learn vicariously through me, as a few of these experiences involve lessons I learned vicariously through others.

I had a student reach out to me earlier in the year. They were having some issues with the end of a long-time relationship and were at a crossroads of sorts. As we communicated back and forth over the next several weeks, I would offer suggestions and counsel, while they would provide me updates. I have often felt that many of my students become like my own kids in some regards, and that bond with this particular person strengthened a lot in that regard. I learned that sometimes we have people put in our lives now so that we can help them much later. We must make sure to step up whenever the need arises.

I had a year of loss as well. I attended the funerals of two former students, the young son of one of my seminary students, and a trusted and valued colleague. Each one passed at too young of an age by our standards, and each funeral brought about different emotions. I did not have the opportunity to attend the funerals of two members of my ward. One became terribly sick at the start of the year, and the other was a sweet and lovely lady who had her health in sharp decline ever since her loving husband passed away earlier. I have always been fascinated by the process surrounding a death, and how it can be so different from one situation and person to the next. I know that there is something after this life, and that those who leave us await us on the other side. I took different lessons from each one, but I think the most important lesson I learned from all of them is to live my life with happiness and fullness. I learned that at the end of one's life, whether it has been a life of 2 years or of 92 years, we can learn so much about people we thought we knew well. Their lives can teach us about who we are and how to be a better person.


I said goodbye to my being a volunteer at the Calgary Zoo. Their demands for time and the demands of other responsibilities could no longer be met without throwing myself out of balance. I was finding myself in a bad place, and when things came to a head, it wasn't good. I acted in a way that I am not proud of, but I still was able to learn. Sometimes, even with good things, we must learn to let go. It is necessary to do that before things become detrimental to one's sanity. To honest, I should have turned in the badge after the last Zoo Lights, but I thought I could still do it. I am grateful for the role volunteering their played when I first moved to Calgary, but it was time to put it behind me and move on to better things. 

I was called into the Elder Quorum's presidency this spring. I must admit that with the recent changes in the church that it became a much busier calling for me. I am learning a lot about the people in my ward. I am learning how to have a different opinion than others, and that different perspectives continue to be a light instead of a hindrance. In this calling I have come to know and appreciate some people in my ward in a new light. I have been called upon to administer in ways that I never have before, and I am making and building friendships with people I never thought I would. It is challenging, but refreshing at the same time. 

I had a wonderful experience with mentoring a brilliant student teacher, who before the school year was out had secured herself a probationary contract at the Calgary Arts charter school. In being her mentor I rediscovered my passion for the teaching. I came alive within my profession again, and the relationship I had towards my students grew. I was asked to co-emcee the grad banquet, and it was an honor and a blessing. A lot of the kids that graduated this year are among the best I ever had the opportunity to teach. I also was given the opportunity recently to be in the school's musical this year. I played Monsieur D'Arc, the villainous soul in charge of the insane asylum. It was so much fun! The kids I performed with were brilliant, and I grew as a performer. It was a challenge, but a wonderful challenge. I am grateful to those I worked with and that gave me an opportunity to have fun on the stage.

So many memories, so much to reflect on. I know I do a Top 10 list at the end of or beginning of the year, and I may still do that, but I have one last adventure before the year is through. Heather and I are taking the girls to Orlando for a Walt Disney World Christmas! The girls are currently playing in the airport Fun Zone as we wait for our flight. I am looking forward to the wonder of Disney through the eyes of my children. Barbara has a little bit of a sore throat and cold, but she is being a real trooper. So, until next time, I will see you as we set off "To Infinity, and beyond!"