One to Beam Up

Yesterday was a sad day for me. Legendary Star Trek actor Leonard Nimoy passed away at the age of 83. Star Trek has been a big part of my childhood and is still important to me, and Spock was a large part of that. He is likely one of the main reasons the franchise is so popular. Yes, Kirk was the captain, but most people know Spock. For me, he was the member of the original crew that I identified with the most. Spock stood out from the rest of the crew because he was different. He had pointed ears, was emotionless, had green blood, and was likely smarter than anyone else on the ship. For myself, I always felt that I was different from everyone else. No matter what setting I am in (work, family, even Trek conventions), I feel just a bit out of place. Always welcome, but always just different enough to feel it. I felt like I imagined Spock felt. Nimoy's passing yesterday reminded me that a small piece of my childhood that gave me a small part of my identity is now gone. It is unfortunate that I never had the opportunity to meet the man in this life. 

Leonard Nimoy wrestled with the fact that Spock was his most identifiable role. That is who he was known for. It bothered him for many years, but he came to grips with it and for many more years since he seemed at peace with it. He was the first Trek actor to direct anything Trek related, and also directed the Hollywood comedy hit "Three Men and a Baby". He was, in my opinion, the consummate artist: Not only was he an actor and a director, but he was a great photographer, a skillful poet, and even dabbled in some music. While he has often received some good-natured ribbing for his singing, he still did it. How many of us have the courage to take such risks? Most of all, Leonard Nimoy was a good man. As the stories of Star Trek come out, there were definitely some friction between cast members, but there are two names that always came up as being genuinely liked and respected by all who worked with them that were never in any of those disputes: DeForest Kelley and Leonard Nimoy. At the end of the day is there anyone who does not want to be remembered as having been a good person? Leonard Nimoy achieved that noble goal.

Thank you Leonard Nimoy for the positive impact that your work had on my life. Until we meet in the next life, Live Long and Prosper.

My Top Ten list for today will be my favourite memories of Leonard Nimoy. Yes, they are almost all Trek related. Enjoy.

10. Highly Illogical - Leonard Nimoy released an album entitled Mr. Spock's Music From Outer Space. The one tract that keeps going through my head is "Highly Illogical". 



9. Sentinel Prime – Nimoy voiced two characters in two separate Transformers movies: Galvatron in the original animated movie, and Sentinel Prime in the more recent “Dark of the Moon”. I cheered when his character used a line from “Wrath of Kahn” saying that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

8. Voice of Tiny Spock in The Big Bang Theory – We will never get Leonard Nimoy on the screen with Jim Parsons, but we did have him voice a Spock doll that messed with Sheldon’s mind. A great way to have such an iconic actor as part of another iconic show.

7. The Challenge - A great car commercial had the two actors who played Spock in a duel of wits. I loved Nimoy's tribute to his song of Bilbo Baggins. 

6. Amok Time - I had a tough time choosing the best Trek episode that focused on Spock. There are so many good ones. I like this one the best. It might not be the greatest, but it is one that I can watch again and again. It shows Nimoy's great range of emotions (and for an actor playing an unemotional Vulcan, that's something)

5. Monorail Episode of the Simpsons – I think that not only is this one of my favourite episodes of the Simpsons, but it is also my favourite guest star cameo of the series. My favourite line is “The world needs laughter”

4. Spock in the Future - In my favourite episode of Futurama "Where No Fan Has Gone Before", Leonard Nimoy (or his head, actually) is reunited with his old cast mates. It is a great episode in and of itself.

3. How to Deal With a Punk - The Voyage Home is one of my all time favourite movies. I think my favourite part was his scene with the punk on a bus, Best way to deal with the obnoxious.



2. Generations Unite - Seeing Spock in the TNG episode "Unification" was great. Having him work with Picard and Data was stellar. 



1. I Have Been and Always Shall Be Your Friend - The bond of family is strong, but the bonds between close friends can become just as strong. I have two friends that I see as brothers. In my favourite movie "The Wrath of Kahn", Spock makes the ultimate sacrifice for his crew. His last words to his closest friend, James T. Kirk, are the words I offer to Dan and Matt (and hopefully never after receiving a full dose of radiation).

I will finish with his last message sent out via Twitter prior to his passing. 

 "A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"

Pains of the Soul

I write this blog entry with some level of trepidation. You see, for the past year I have been doing a lot of reading and pondering about some of the current states of the world on a variety of social and political, and dare I say, religious issues. As I look at the new year ahead of me I am both hopeful for the great things to come and apprehensive towards the trends I see in many regards. Everywhere I look on the internet today I find more and more that troubles me. Pick the topic, and it brings a pain deep to the heart of my soul. Some say that there is an Islam problem. Some say there is an immigration problem. Some say that there is a problem with those who believe in Judaism, others with those who are Christian, and some say it is a problem with those who do not believe at all. Some say that the pains are due to the agenda of the left wing, others due to the agenda of the right. Some will put the blame on one specific global political leader, and others on an entire group of people. As I take a step back and look at as much of the big picture as my perspective can take in, I boil all the debate down to one thing: there is a serious lack of Love in this world with an over-abundance of Hate.

Recently there were a handful of violent events that left 17 people dead in Paris. They were at work, at the grocery store, or on the street. The attacks were carried out by Islamic radicals who were, for lack of a better understanding of it, making a message to the world about their interpretations of Islam. A few months ago we had two separate incidents in Canada that left two of our soldiers dead, specifically targeted by those with similar beliefs. All throughout the year there have been attacks on much larger scales on entire communities and nations, and many of us in the world are scared by it. There was yet another bloody conflict in Israel last summer, and this fuelled not only anti-Islam rhetoric but anti-Israel and anti-Semitic rhetoric as well. Just the other day I heard the story of a young girl who was, as I understand it, forced to wear a bomb into a Nigerian market. Upon her arrival at the market the bomb was detonated, killing herself and at least 10 others. This was just part of Boko Haram's concerted attacks in Nigeria. Some argue that radicalised Islam is at war with the rest of the world. I can see how that observation can be made.

Add to that a growing unrest in the US currently against law enforcement officers. A number of questionable killings of black individuals is having people accuse all white police officers of being racists. There was an incident last month of two NYPD officers being gunned down in their patrol car. With that resurfaces the debate over gun-control, and members of both sides in that argument take aim at each other with insults and contempt. In the political arenas of the world debate becomes less and less about discussion of ideas to create solutions to common problems, and more and more about getting the right sound-bite that will help you get re-elected. Politicians will denounce those who switch to other parties as being undemocratic one month, then cross the floor themselves the next. People stand up for freedom of speech by tweeting "Je suis Charlie", but demand that someone who is giving a pro-life speech at a university be banned from speaking there. We say we value the teachings of our particular religion, yet we insult others who do not share our views. We say that we value what makes individuals unique, but then when they move to our country we expect them to talk like we do, dress like we do, think like we do. Last year Quebec tried to ban the wearing of overt religious symbols by public employees, and many people rallied behind that cry saying that people should only practice their faith in their homes and places of worship. Thankfully there were many more who fought against it and won.

It is appearant to me that there is a growing movement of hatred. Maybe that hatred has always existed and it is only becoming more vocal. Maybe the anonymity that is inherent in the internet is making it more easy to broadcast that message. Regardless of the reason, hatred is rampant in this world. People are finding that it is easier to hate thy neighbour than to love them. We expect that those who disagree with us or are different from us must change to be more like us. People are saying that multiculturalism is a failure, that immigrants are eroding the way of life. Historians are predicting the fall of the great American Empire, citing lessons from the past. I am worried about other lessons that are being ignored, such as the true cost of hate and fear. I am concerned that those lessons that have been so painfully learned from the past are being forgotten.

We say that we have come so far since those times, but it feels more like we have been travelling in a circle and are on the path that our forefathers have warned us not to tread. I look upon the faces of my children and wonder what kind of world they will grow up in. I look back to my ancestors to learn from their lessons of the past. I am particularly drawn to my mother's German heritage. During World War II my great grandfather, Heinrich Hermann Hassforther, worked in a government office. Each day he processed lists of names of those who were deemed enemies of the state, or at the very least were people that the Nazi's should keep a close eye on. Quite often the individuals on the list would disappear into the night. One day the names of his daughter and her husband, my maternal grandparents, came up on a list. He quietly disposed of the list. He knew he could not do the same for every list that came across his desk, but this was family. He silently made a stand against a government that he believed were wrong to save his family. Not only did he save his daughter, but generations that came from her family. Imagine, my little Barbara, who was named after the granddaughter of Heinrich Hassforther, and my dearest Hope, who brings what her name intends, would not exist today had it not been for that one act of defiance. The spirit of Heinrich's goodness was passed onto his daughter that he saved. I suspect that her name was on the list because she was sneaking food and warm clothing into the camps where Russian POWs were being held during the winter, outdoors with nothing to keep them warm. My own grandmother tried to help the soldiers of the enemy. That is love. When my German grandparents moved to Toronto after the war, nobody would give my Opa a job. Nobody, at least, except a Jewish man, who looked beyond the pain in his own soul and did not worry that my grandfather was German.

So as I look at the grief and pain in the world today, I feel the pain in my own soul. I read comments from people suggest that to deal with the "Muslim-terrorist" problem that there should be a "Muslim tax" put into place to help pay for the damages that Islamic extremists are inflicting on society. It was even offered that Muslims who do not wish to pay the tax can earn exemptions by turning in members of their community who are planning terrorist activities. I thought for a moment that I had found a vortex back to the days of Heinrich Hassforther, standing in his office, looking at a piece of paper with the names of Jewish sympathizers. Is this really where we have arrived?

I see individuals shout that religion should only be practised in homes, churches, mosques, and synagogues, as if a person's religious practices can be turned on and off like a switch. A marginalized component of society has been emerging from the closets that society put them in, and it feels like those with religious beliefs are being forced into the closets to fill the void. If your political party is on the right of the spectrum, your opponents call you a fascist. If it's on the left, you are labelled a communist. Where is the end of the hatred?

So what am I to do? I raise my daughters and teach my students to love those, especially if they are different from you. I police myself in having unkind feelings towards others and judging them. I pray each night that our Father in Heaven can in some way soften the hearts of His children. I voice my thoughts on the internet and brace myself for the backlash. Presently I keep an ear open to such hatred surfacing at my school (thankfully I have not heard much of that yet). I watch Muppets with Barbara while we snack on jelly beans. I cuddle Hope every chance I get. I cannot shield my children from the evil in the world (and yes, hatred towards others is inherently evil), but I can at least insulate them with as much love as I can provide them. It is a small thing, but apparently every great event begins with a small thing.

End of the Year

Well, my last post said it has been way to long since I wrote last. Well, here we are again. Sigh.

Quite a bit has happened. I was in the musical at school again this year. We did Cinderella (Roger & Hammerstein style). I had 20 seconds as Cinderella's father. It was a lot of fun. The kids, as usual, had a blast. Heather brought the girls to a dress rehearsal. Barbara had so much fun. She was playing Cinderella for a few days after. Zoo Lights is in full swing. A great time and we are close to breaking an attendance record.

The holidays this year have not been altogether pleasant. Almost everyone here has been sick at some point, and I am the latest casualty. Sadly we said good bye to Grandma Cahoon on the 23rd. She had been going downhill quickly for a week. The good part of this story is that everyone on Heather's side was able to come. There has been a family issue that was set aside for the time-being as well. Despite tragedies in life there are still good things that can come of them, I guess. It is nice to see people come together.

Christmas was good to us. Nice weather, good times with family, and I received a few good movies as gifts. I also liked the shirts that people bought for me, and Dad and Violet gave me a collectors coin from Australia with a platypus on it! As I get older I find that it is less about what I get and more about the events I experience. Watching Barbara and Hope with Santa Claus at the staff kids party or having dinner with family is what really means the most.

Looking back at 2014, I can say that it has not been the best of years. Losing both Heather's and my own last surviving grandparents and losing Annie has been difficult. While it is natural to focus on the negative, I choose instead to focus on the positive. My Top Ten for the last entry of 2014 is: Top Ten Surprises of 2014.
10. Jim Henson Creature Shop Challenge(Reality Show Surprise of the Year). I had caught most of the episodes that showcased the magic behind the puppetry and creature building of Jim Henson's legacy. I hope there will be a second season.

9. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Movie Surprise of the Year). I flew to Orlando this summer for a Kagan workshop, and this was the only movie the flight offered that was in the slightest bit appealing to me according to the write-up in the catalog. I was so pleasantly surprised to find such a delightful film. No, it is not my usual sci-fi special effects fare, but it had a great story, was funny, endearing, and something I could watch with the family without worry. I found it for under $7 at Walmart on Boxing Day. Definitely went for it.

8. Superhero TV (TV Surprise of the Year). I started watching a couple of TV shows this year with a common theme: super heroes. They are really good! The Flash is becoming one of my favourites (I am even interested in catching up on Arrow), and Gotham is quite interesting as well. Add to that Agents of Shield and being Super is cool again.

7. Sir Anthony Williams (Celebrity Highlight of the Year). Meeting Rene Auberjonois and Nana Visitor at Vulcan was coll, and the Comic Expo in Calgary introduced me to Felicia Day and Billy Boyd, but Anthony Williams takes the cake. The way he treated my nephew Connor and surprised him with a free autograph was a memory I hope to never forget. He was a truly gracious and charming individual.

6. Girl in a Country Song (Song Surprise of the Year). I will confess, I have fallen out of love with country music lately. Last year in particular I was frustrated that it seemed that all that they played on the radio was about guys going ape-crazy over the bodies of pretty girls and spend all their time partying. It's called "bro country" and it is not something I identify with. I missed the songs that spoke about real relationships. Then Maddie and Tae debuted their eventual first #1 single. It was perfect!


5. Imagine Dragons (CD Surprise of the Year). I had heard a few songs by this Utah-based band and decided to buy their album "Night Visions". I loved it. There were so many great songs on it. Yes, I am about a year behind on this album, but I'm almost 40, so forgive me. I'm not in the target demographic of pop culture anymore.


4.The Dark Legacy of Shannara (Book Surprise of the Year). I have been a fan of Terry Brooks and his Shannara series for over 30 years. Yes, there have been stretches where I stopped reading his books, but I started again this year with this trilogy. He took his writing and story telling to new levels. I am really looking forward to 2015 when his books become a TV series.

3. Toronto (City Surprise and Family Trip Highlight of the Year). When Grandma Andrews passed away I went with my father to Toronto to take care of things. I mostly went for moral support, but what happened was a great bonding experience for my Dad and I. He showed me so much of this city that he grew up in. We went to the high school he graduated from, his university, the house he grew up in, visited his life-long friend, and I was able to meet my uncles. We went to the Toronto Zoo, which was a lot of fun.

 

2. Multiple Intelligences (Career Highlight of the Year). My Kagan workshop was on tapping into the different ways that students are smart to help them learn. It continues to remind me how great Cooperative Learning Structures are so beneficial to my career. It has really helped my teaching practice.


1. Hope Kelly Andrews (The Highlight of the Year). Of course my second daughter will be my highlight of the year. Hope has such a bright personality and is the darling of our home. She smiles with her whole face, laughs with her whole body, and loves with her whole soul. So glad to have you, little Bookie-Dee!

Remember

It has been far too long since my last post. As with all things, the best way to restart something is to simply start anew.

A lot has happened in the last couple months. I figured out what caused the ads in my last post (thanks to Dayton for showing me how to fix it), so I am happy to have that little irritant out of the way. School goes along well with great news in the modernization of our building (can't say too much now, but it looks as if I will not have to make the long commute to work for a while). My Kagan MI strategies are going very well, and I am having a blast with my new classes. Barbara continues to grow and learn, and Hope is following close behind. My daughters are fulfilling a promise that I would have joy in my posterity, and in no way do I feel I have scratched the surface of that joy. Dustin is in Lethbridge attending college in a program that he is passionate for. Heather enjoys her stay-at-home status, and Dayton is learning about University life.

Calgary was hit hard last month by a freak snowstorm. The devastation to trees throughout the city was severe. Our two trees out front were spared as I knocked off as much snow as I could before leaving to work, but driving or walking through any part of the city showed how brutal the snow was. I have thought much about this occurrence and what meaning I could get out of it. I will likely work it into a talk in church, but for now a little snippet is to remember that we all bear heavy burdens at different times. If we ignore them, they accumulate and weigh us down to our breaking point. Knock the snow off as soon as you can. Get help in doing so if you need it.

Thanksgiving Sunday my grandmother (Dad's mom) passed away. She was a few days away from turning 91. I took the opportunity to fly out to Toronto with my father until the next Sunday. My main reason for going was that my dad has not had the best relationship with his parents and especially with his brothers. My dad made different choices than they did growing up, and it caused a lot of friction. Not knowing what state of mind my uncles were in, I wanted to be there for dad in case the worse case scenario greeted him. Thankfully it was the exact opposite. My uncles were quite respectful and appreciative of my father. It was the most pleasant surprise I could have asked for. This was my first visit to Toronto, so it was my first time meeting this side of the family. While I enjoyed that surprise and seeing the Toronto Zoo, I was most happy about the time I was able to spend with my father. There are few opportunities like this that come along, and it is important to take advantage of them as often as we can. It was so nice to see Toronto in the fall, but to see where my Dad grew up, went to high school, his university, etc., was by far the greater treasure. Something I will always strive to remember.

Sadly, this past week has given us something else to remember. I was wondering when terrorist attacks would finally hit Canadian soil, and this week it happened. Two separate incidents of individuals who were apparently radicalized by Islamic extremists attacked Canadian soldiers. In each incident one of our soldiers died. In each case we were left wondering what and why. Monday's incident occurred in Quebec and Wednesday's was in Ottawa at the War Memorial and the House of Commons. In that particular situation there was a gun battle in the halls of our parliamentary building. This summer seems to has woken a large part of me to the fact that many lessons that were so painful to learn a couple generations ago are being forgotten, and this week it was reiterated to me in full force with these attacks.

We are failing to remember that hatred knows no boundaries or borders. We are failing to remember that when an extremist group targets minorities for extermination we do not have the luxury to say "It does not concern us". Some will argue that Canada's involvement with anti-terror endeavors is bringing the wrath of these radicals upon us, that if we simply butt out of other countries business then we will be left alone. Some will say that by Canada agreeing to committing air strike forces in Iraq to combat ISIS that these recent attacks on our home soil is retaliation and that these two soldiers would be with us still had we decided to withhold our support. I am certain that there were similar arguments made about Hitler and Nazi Germany leading up to WWII. In the end, we must acknowledge that history shows us that when good people turn a blind eye to evil in the world that evil will only grow and fester until it envelopes us.

In light of these events, we must remember a great many things. The failure to remember these things will lead us to repeating some great mistakes. First and foremost, we must remember that the actions of these extremists do not represent the mainstream members of a particular religion or culture. To say that ISIS is an accurate representation of Islam is no different than saying that Christianity is accurately portrayed by the actions of the KKK. People have been taking snippets of religious doctrines and using them out of context to portray numerous religions falsely. When I think of Islam, I think of many students, their parents, their families, and see that they simply want the same things that I want for my family. They want a place to live, a fair wage for their work, and better life for their children. They want to worship God in their way. I do not see my friends who happen to be Muslim as "my Muslim friends", but as my friends. They show respect to my religion and only expect me to reciprocate.

We must remember that these extremists are not going to play by any rules except for one: win at all costs. We need to remember that in our response to their cowardly actions we walk a fine line. We do not want to tread on the rights and freedoms of others, but we also do not want to lay down be submissive. We must acknowledge that in defending ourselves we are going to have to roll our sleeves and get a little dirty. They will not respect our rules of engagement, It is a delicate balance between winning the war and keeping our morals. We can do this, but we must be careful and deliberate in our actions.

We must remember that what we say will have unforeseen effects on others. We must do what we can to reach out to those who are different from us. In all societies there will be those that find themselves on the fringes. A true test of a society lies in how it treats those on the fringes. I do not say this to excuse the actions of these home-grown terrorists, but instead ask us to reflect on how we can keep those who may be easily influenced on the side of friendship and goodness. We may never know what caused these two men to commit such acts, or if someone could have said or done something different to reach out to them, but we must be nicer to those around us and take nothing for granted. When such individuals make the choice to radicalize and kill innocents, they are held accountable for their crimes and should be dealt with swiftly and decisively, but I would hope that we could minimize those who choose the wrong by treating all better than we currently treat them.

Sadly, the pessimist in me feels that we will come united as a country for a week or two, that we will put aside political, religious, cultural, and personal differences aside, and then before too long resort back to our pettiness that has divided the world more profoundly than borders. The optimist in me hopes that we will find a way to overcome hate and evil, that we will rise above as a nation and emerge stronger, wiser, and united. The terrorists can throw whatever they want at us, and we will not be intimidated. I think whichever side will be proven right will be decided be factors outside my influence, but for myself I can choose what I will become. It was driven home to me Wednesday evening while I was waiting for the Prime Minister to address the nation. Barbara was singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" at the top of her lungs. I was about to tell her to stop singing so we could hear the TV, then thought better of it. I was not going to let these wackos and cowards shut down my daughter's goodness and innocence. I let her sing. I applauded her when she finished and asked her to sing it again. I hope I will always remember that lesson.

New School Year, New Look

Gonna make a quick post this month. This summer has flown by so quickly. As I was looking at my last post today, I noticed two things. First, I needed to change the background and style a bit. Freshen things up a bit. Hope you like the changes. Second thing was on my blog there were several key words that were serving as links to advertisements. I'm not sure if it's an issue with my computer (some sort of spy ware or something) or if it is a new feature with the blog site. I'm not a fan of this forced advertising, so I am seriously considering moving my blog to a new site. We'll see.

With a new school year I am very excited about my job. I had great training at a Kagan workshop this July and I am putting it into effect more than I ever had before. I feel rejuvenated as a teacher. My workshop was on multiple intelligences and how to reach and stretch them in my students. I love it. The key will be time. I find that with every school year I am reassessing my priorities to find the right balance in things. This year I have going to the gym without dropping the ball in anything else time wise (especially family related), so it's been a bit stressful, but t is stress that I am enjoying. The girls continue to grow. Hope is smiling more now and Barbara continues to get smarter (and more smart-alecky) every day. In fact, just the other day she had gotten her shirt dirty at dinner, so Heather took it off. Barbara then proceeded to use ketchup like finger paint all over her chest and belly. Funny and frustrating at the same time. The greatest thing about being a father is seeing your children smile, so it's not a big deal.

A quick Top Ten List to end the month. My Top Ten Favourite Animals!
10. Favourite pet - Dog. I love cats and don't pick sides in the dog vs. cat debates, but there is something to be said about the loyalty of man's best friend. (honorable mentions to cats and box tortoises)
9. Favourite Critter used for food - Rabbit. As a kid, I loved rabbits. I hated the thought of eating them. as an adult I have overcome that dislike and understand that rabbits can be tasty, but I still prefer to cuddle one.
8. Favourite reptile - Galapagos tortoise. These things can be ancient and they are really cool to look at. The kid in me wants to ride one for fun. (honorable mentions go to iguanas and sea turtles)
7. Favourite bird - Penguin. Cute little guys that are always wearing their best tuxedos, I can watch these guys for hours with Barbara when we go to the zoo. (honorable mentions to emus, snowy owls, and Big Bird)
6. Favourite Canadian animal - Whooping Crane. A true success story in animal conservation, these tall white birds are still rare. (honorable mention to sea otters, river otters, and moose)
5. Favourite sea animal - Blue whale. The largest animal on the planet, I have never seen one in real life, but their size alone fills me with wonder. (honorable mentions to humpback and beluga whales, manatees, and lobster. The last because they are so tasty!)
4. Favourite foreigner (non-North American animal) - Rhinos. Does not matter what species (white, Javan, black, etc), but I like these little tanks of the world. We just got one at the zoo here, and he is cool. (hats off to elephants, tigers, and hippos)
3. Favourite primate - Gibbons. The the smallest of the apes, gibbons seems a bit clumsy with arms so proportionately long, but watch the swing through the trees and they take on a grace and elegance. They make cool sounds too. (shout out to gorillas and spider monkeys)
2. Favourite at the zoo - Okapi. Such a mysterious and wondrous animal. When in the area I intentionally seek out zoos that have them.
1. Favourite overall - Platypus. Proof the God has a sense of humor, this egg-laying mammal of action has poisoned spurs, a duck bill, and is as cute as it is odd. No wonder I identify so well with it.

True Communication

Last night I woke up around 1:30 after having a fun dream. The last few days I have been fighting a really bad viral infection so a combination of Nyquil and Tylenol Cold probably contributed to this dream. For some odd reason my thoughts on the dream jumped to something completely different, which is the topic of my blog today. Sorry, I won't tell you the details of the dream because I cannot fathom the connection between what I was dreaming about and an essential part of communication that I find lacking more and more each day.

I'll be honest with you, a lot of what I am talking about here has been brewing in my mind for quite a while. I have noticed that in today's world we have so many ways of communicating right at our finger tips. Right now I am writing a blog that, if lucky, several individuals (maybe even ten!) will read. I did a quick count and found that there are six devices that I own that I can obtain news information from (everything from a Samsung smart phone to an old school car radio, which for you youngsters was the original I-Pod). I can find thousands of reports on any given news story in seconds. OK, it's really only about a dozen different reports, just re-posted and shared or even plain old ripped off a thousand times over, but the point is the information is out there. I can chat with my step brother all the way over in Australia, either through instant messaging or Skype. I have friends via Facebook that I have never laid physical eyes on and yet have found a bond with them over any number of values. Yet with all of this technological ability to communicate, I fear that we as a global society are losing one of the most important elements in proper communication. We are losing our ability to listen.

The Meriam-Webster Online dictionary (because traditional physical paper dictionaries are for chumps) defines the word "listen" as "to pay attention to someone or something in order to hear what is being said, sung, played, etc.". Note how that is more than simply hearing what is being said. I teach biology, and every class I have students that I can scientifically prove are "hearing" what I am saying but are not actually listening. They need to pay attention in order to hear and understand what is being said. We look around the world around us and we see groups of people that are locked in endless shouting matches, thinking if they can just out shout the other side that they will have more people listening to them. Whether it is opposing political leaders or protest groups, there is nothing but shouting and no listening.

Digital communication must be better, right? I mean with nobody actually yelling (unless they use ALL CAPS) everyone can get there point across and be able to "listen" to what they read. Well, not so much. Just read any comment section to any article or video and again you will see groups of people yelling at each other on their keyboards, and likely saying some truly awful things that they would never willingly say out loud in public. People will jump to their keyboards (or is it keypads now?) and quickly tap out in 140 characters or less their support/disdain on a topic and hit send. They will try to come up with the most blistering attacks and insults because that is how you win an argument these days (who needs facts and logic when calling someone an expletive bonehead will score you more thumbs up). It is sad because so few of us are truly listening these days to what is being said. We focus on getting our message out to the cyber-verse that we seldom pause to consider what is being said.

I wrote a post a couple years back showing my frustration over internet trolls. You know, those people who specifically scour the internet looking for somewhere to make inflammatory comments to get people riled up and angry. They hide behind their anonymity with the sole (soulless?) intent on making people upset. Definitely not listening. Yet how many times have we (and yes, I include myself in this) typed out a cutting response, hit enter, and then forget about what we have said. Do we ever look at what we are responding to and ask ourselves how this remark will affect the other person? Do we even ask ourselves why the person is saying what they are saying? Are we trying to understand what is being said before we respond or are we looking to make what we say "right"? Are we looking for justification, vindication, or just the response that will get other faceless entities hitting the "Like" button the most.

I say this because I have noticed that as more an more polarizing debates are popping up on my Facebook and Twitter feeds more and more people I thought I knew are showing that they simply do not care about true communication. Whether it is federal or provincial politics, Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life, the debates over everything from global warming to same-sex marriage laws, and more recently the current crisis in the war between Hamas and Israel people are throwing out their stands, platforms, and bias as if that is the only way to communicate. It does not take long for these things to boil over into personal, hateful attacks that damage relationships. I have started to un-follow and even un-friend some individuals because I am tired of all the negativity. I do not see the value in having the Facebook Ranters clog up my news feed. I see teachers, doctors, lawyers, parents, children, politicians, sales clerks, gardeners, mechanics, etc. all stoop to pettiness because someone else has a different opinion. I have read too many "I'm sorry if this offends you but..." to believe that they are truly sorry for the offense. I have heard too many people justify themselves with disclosures such as "I am only telling it like it is". I don't have a problem with people telling it like it is, but is it too much to ask that you tell it like it is in a polite way?

As I mentioned before, yes, I find myself in these categories from time to time. I am sure that a few Facebook friends have ditched me because of some things I have shared online. Of course, when such friendships are only maintained through casual mouse clicking, is that really a friendship lost? A true friend is one who will listen to you (aha, the magic word of the day again!). A true friend will use true tolerance when they disagree with you. A true friend will give you much more than simple platitudes, they will tell you things that you may find hard to hear to help you listen to more than just yourself. When I have friends who are asking me to support either side in the current Gaza conflict, will they listen to me when I tell them why I can or cannot support their side? Will they listen to each other? Will you who read this listen to what I have to say? Will it change how you listen to others? As I say, I only have a few people who read this, but maybe it can be the start of a ball rolling.

Happiest Birthday

Well, it's 5:45 on the first day of my last year of my 30s. As usual, I can't sleep in, so I thought I would write a quick blog update.

Barbara had a great birthday yesterday. We had breakfast at McDonalds, then I went to work. Coming home we had dinner, went to the temple where we ate cupcakes on the grounds (I think the temple is one of Barbara's favorite places to go), and then opened presents. She loved it but did not want to go to bed.

Today is grad day. I will be saying goodbye to a good group of kids. There are a more than a few have impacted my life in special ways, and like each year I will moss them. This morning I was thinking about birthdays. The question often is asked "Which was your favorite birthday?". While birthdays with Heather and the girls are always great, and birthdays as a kid growing up with my family are up there, there is one birthday that just edges them all out. That happened in 2008.

It was my last few days in Thunderchild. It was also the day of graduation. I had been alone (except for Annie) for just over two months. My first wife was long gone and reality was sinking in. So there I was, at the lowest point in my life, wondering what to do for my birthday when I really didn't want to move forward with anything. I was not in the mood to celebrate anything, let alone getting older, so I decided I would not celebrate.

I woke up and made breakfast. My dad called to wish me a happy birthday and that was the only phone call I received that day. I let the machine get all the other calls. I kept the computer off so I would not read any emails or Facebook posts that might be birthday related. I went to the school and started asking people what they needed help with. One of the teachers asked if I would want to collect some willow branches for the three students who were graduating (yes, that is my record, three students at a grad ceremony). He suggested that as part of this ritual I should think about these three young men as I prepared the branches for the ceremony. These were three good, upstanding young men and I was happy yo provide this service to them. I continued helping other teachers organize for grad and get ready for the summer. I packed a few things up in my room so I could vacate it (I was moving to Calgary in a couple weeks). At the grad ceremony I was asked to give the toast to the students, which was indeed an honor for me. At the end of the day I went home with only one colleague discovering that today was my birthday.

So why was this the best birthday? It was because the only gift I received was one of the most precious ones. I received a sense of peace, of hope, and of fulfillment. I learned that the best and truest way to make one happy lies not in what others do for you, but in what you do for others. When you serve others without any thought about what you will receive in return you will feel amazing. It brought me out of deep dark hole and allowed me to enjoy the sunlight. It is still something that I feel strongly these several years later.

I do not share this story to say "Look at me! Didn't I do something amazing?". In fact I debated whether or not to share this story at all because I did not want to have people think that I am some sort of wisdom guru. This is something that I had been taught all of my life by parents, teachers, and others who are far wiser than myself. no, instead I post this to offer up a challenge. I challenge you to make a birthday where you do not receive any presents, have a party, or even let people know it's your birthday. Instead, use that day to only serve others. Make it about them. I can assure you that it will be one of the best days of your life.